curbo

Your thoughts on our situation would be appreciated:

Having visited Sydney in 2000 and obtain visas in 2002 we emigrated to Melbourne (after deciding Sydney would be to expensive) with our 4 children, my husband freaked after not settling and we returned after only a few weeks.
We now live in a beautiful part of the country Alderley Edge in a 4 bed detached home. The children are all doing well at school and are in good schools, hubby is self employed and we pay the bills and have some disposable income, and even have enough for family holidays abroad.
SO WHATS THE PROBLEM I HEAR YOU SAY!
well our visas expire June 18th 2007 and thoughts of trying OZ again are always in me head, so why is England not enough and the lure of a life in OZ seem so good.
Is anybody else in this situation and what have you done or are you going to do.
your thoughts would be welcomed!!!

busterboy

....I believe that this is such a common scenario and that they may indeed have nickname for it. I believe in it called Ping-pong - which makes you a ping-ponger. If I am wrong I am sure I will be corrected.

acbh2

Hi Curbo,
Am not in the same position but just wanted to say Hi. For myself and family the Uk is not enough purely because we love the outdoors, cycling, walking, picnics, beach, sea etc..etc.. and unfortunately the 5 weeks or so of sunshine we do get is not sufficient for us to enjoy the outdoors and be the family that we would so love to be..having said this we haven't moved to Oz yet and it may not be its all its cracked up to be. If you were only there a matter of weeks then maybe your realising you didn't really give yourself and your family a chance to settle. Any chance you could rent your Uk house fully furnished for a 6 month let and give yourselfs six months you never know you may love it next time! could you try Queensland instead of melbourne?
Best wishes in your decision making
Andrea
xx

curbo

Hi Andrea
Thanks for the encouraging words, would love to give it another go but my eldest is starting A levels, the twins are booked on a sking trip next Feb. It just seems there is no time i am afraid, and the thoughts of messing up again, well you can imagine the stress that would cause, would just be nice if you extend the visas for a few more years to keep the options open

HiddenPaw

Hi
I could have written this post myself (except I used to work in Alderley + Wilmslow, not live there (just down the road now) and our visas expire May 2007).

Your problem is that because you didn't give it long enough, you are always wondering what could have been, or whether you could have made a go of it in Oz. You left prematurely and you never found the answers to whether you could make a new life in Oz. I know, because I feel the same.

We were there (Melbourne) for 18 months and came back to have a baby. Up till now, I have never had a real desire to go back. However, in the last few months a lot of things have changed and now I feel ready to go. We have a major stumbling block, however, and that is that my husband would have to give up a great job that he only started recently (it's the sort of job you want for life). So we are not sure what to do. I have spent the evening in tears because I can see the whole thing slipping away in front of my eyes! (There is more to it than I have typed here but the bottom line is there is a lot at stake and we don't know if the gains outweigh the losses.)

Good luck!

banjo

it took me two years to feel settled.....but by then we had made the decision to come back to the UK, and true to past history we never re-evaluated. We just kept on and stuck ridgedly to the plan. Now we regret it and wish we'd stayed or at least told ourselves to give it a full 2yrs before making a decision.

I've been trying to work out why I (as it was me and not the OH) didn't settle and I think it was because we were financially comfortable and so had a route back to Blighty. We know quite a few people out there who took ages to get their visas and went out and HAD to make it work and they did and lead happy contented lives.

If / when we end up going back then we will be in that position as all this ping-ponging is an expensive hobby.....but I think it is almost healthier as you don't waste time wondering whether you've made the right decision you just have to get on and live it.

jad n rich

First thought for you is australia has changed a LOT since the early 2000's. If you are coming back could one of you do a trip out to update on what it is now.

Read up on current laws such as australian workplace agreements, workplace reform, if you have a great job in the UK finding such an item may be very difficult to match.

We arrived in 2000, petrol around 69 c, houses under $200,000, food for a family $150 a week, private health, $122.

Now petrol around $1.37 house around $500,000 ( more in many places like perth ) food, we touched $300 last week but did have 3 kids home not the usual 2. private health $227, cant think of anything thats not gone up that much really. V expensive place to live.

Mortage rates have gone up 7 times since then too. An airfare back to UK (a big consideration for families X 5/6 people ) was around $1400 with taxes in 2000, now its $2400 with taxes (thats a qantas fare example low season).

Also having older children are you going to start putting yourself in the situation where somebody is going to pull on the heart strings by saying I aint going back, or worse get here and say I aint staying.

Also do a daily check on the papers where you are going back to, does that state have some current problems with hospital places, education funding, water shortages, crime, university fees whatever is applicable to you.

If you get up to date on what its like now then you have a much better chance of making sure its the right decision, not just the lure of what might be, know exactly what it will be.

acbh2

I really feel for you it must be hard to realise that the dream you once had will finally come to an end when the visas do eventually run out. Are your children not to keen on the idea my 2 are only 9 and 3. 9 year old is so excited he asks every day when we are going he doesn't understand why a letter from Australia can take so long but then do any of us! I really hope you manage to make the right decision even if that means defering A-levels for a year (I know it's not as easy as it sounds) skiing trips come and go I know we had to cancel our three week hols to Florida this christmas when we finally decided to bite the bullet lost a bit of money but felt for the long term Australia has to be our priority.
All the best
Andrea
xx

tabby

Hi

Have not read all replies do sorry if already been said , but I think it has a lot to do with were you decide to move I have heard Melbourne is very much like the Uk as in buildings weather (to a certain extent) , we chose to move to QLD and it's like being on your hol's , I miss my family dearly but that has became a little more bearable in the last few weeks. What I can't get over is I wake in the morning the 1st thing I hear are parakeets chirping in the trees outside and the 1st thing I see is a clear deep blue sky , don't get me wrong I still have to work so it still same SH1t different day but it's sunny and that makes the world of difference.

I am very proud of were I come from and who we are but I do not want to be one of those people who say wonder what would of happen if i did that ....

Although the UK is a great place it is not the only great place , and you must be having some thoughts about moving back, can't you rent your house come here rent for 2 years get citizenship and then move back if thats what you want but at least you have given your children a chance to decide later in life if they want to move here and they won't go through the hassle people like us have had to get here......if you do come back and you don't like were you move try a somewhere different in Aus threes plenty to chose from

tabby

Our 3 year old still asks 'when are we going to Australia'

ozzieeagle

You've been on these boards longer than myself HP..... In fact in the early days you were the first poster to make me take a long serious look at what I was posting.... (sorry janeyR ). I'm trying to find some words to reply to what you've posted above. All I can say is if an intelligent expereinced poster such as yourself has spent as much time thinking about the ramifications of coming and going and being inbetween, and still coming up with confused thoughts, then there isn't a lot of hope of a 100 pct satisfactory answer for other people in that ping pong situation.

I found myself "fleetingly" wanting to return after my fantastic expereince there last year.... Luckily for me my Aussie wife, said "not on your nelly" with the kids at least.

Best advice I can give HP, is when in doubt to your degree, then the Status quo is probably the best option. I wouldn't say forget it though. Looks like Status quo V realising a possible dream.... very tricky.



Hope you stay posting, as your thoughts and posts and some of the most relevant I've seen on this forum.

acbh2

my 3 year old is still excited about going to disney in December for her 4th birthday have explained we are not going but hopefully going to Australia blah blah blah but she still tells me each day how excited she is to go to disney world I feel totally bad as up until a few months back we got excited everyday together she said today she doesn't want to go to Oz, oh to be 3.
A
xx

busterboy

I really feel for the first poster. Knowing whether to make the move to OZ is just as dififcult as knowing whether to move back. My husband and I have spent a fair bit on getting a perm visa and have pretty much put our lives on hold for the last 18 months. Now we have the visa and I am terrified of making the move. I was always realistic about the move ie lower wages,high taxes, high cost of living etc weighed against better standard of life, more family orientated etc but having been on this forum for a week or two and listening to PB and Mike Stanton (famous/infamous posters) I am just getting more and more nervous.

Lord Pom Percy

Perhaps the mistake you made or other people make when immigrating is they only move to or see one small part of the country like Melbourne or Sydney and don't particularly like it and go home without seeing the rest of the country. OZ is an enormous diverse country, with different climates and landscapes, living in one part of the country can be very diffrenet to living in another part. People should see as much of the country as possible.

ozzieeagle

It's no easier to live here, from a day to day perspective.... In fact for some it may be more difficult from a financial point and family back up point of view. It's just nicer/more pleasant. (I do understand PB's and MS's points about Blandness though)

From my own perspective of 26 years here. I think I would appreciate the amneties attractions of Europe and other cities of the UK. Whether realistically I would have enough spare time and money to fulfill my desires to see other things from the point of view of being on the treadmill of day to day life is debatable.

Problem is Money equates to freedom of choice. It wouldn't matter for all of us on these forums then.