poshrice

Typical we fly to Sydney a week tomorrow and last night i spoke to my real dad who i haven't seen since i was a baby 30 years to be exact and met him to day still don't know what i feelo as this has all been a bit sudden. i contacted all the people i could find on the friends reunited site as i had a fairly unusual maiden name and asked if they knew my dad somehow i managed to contact my cousin who told my dad i had been in touch he has been trying to find me for the past 30 years and just as i am about to start a new life on the other side of the globe here he is.

Oh well glad i got that off me chest lol

Poshrice

manxfamily

because if they happend at the right time, you wouldnt have to ask the question on here!!!

poshrice

LOL ok clever clogs anyway hasn't made me change the way i feel about going to Oz still can't wait to get on that plane and start a new life.

Poshrice

Perthforme

Well thats good that you get to speak to him now b4 you go .

Better than finding out after you arrive in Aus !

Sleeping Beauty

hi poshrice (met you at the salt cellar meet in august)

if you had such an ununsual surname, how come your father had such a hard time trying to find you?

i hope everything works out for you. was you happy meeting up with you dad again? or do you not know how you feel yet?

anyway, just wanted to say good luck for the move this week, and that everything happens for a reason.

michelle
xx

poshrice

To be honest don't know quite how i feel about it all from what i can gather he did try to contact me when i was younger but my mum wouldn't let him and until you are 18 you don't have your name on anything, i got married at 23 and he doesn't have a computer so he would have had to go the long way round. My mom kept her maiden name which was a bit more common but i had dads surname. Was nice to meet up with him and i was welcomed with open arms but still doesn't feel real one thing i will say it hasn't changed the way i feel about my stepdad as far as i am concerned he will always be my dad as he put up with the teenage tantrums and sat with me in hospital when i fell and cut my hand open on some glass(even though he can't stand hospitals).
Will wait to see how things unfold have said i will keep in touch once in Oz so hey ho.

Poshrice

Sleeping Beauty

at least youve met up with him b4 you go.
i hope it works out okay for you honey

woodyinoz

What a great story!

I can understand what you say about your Stepdad.... it's a special relationship the comes out of the bring up of children whoever they are. I take my hat off to all those that have adopted kids as their own.

As your Dad is concerned it must be great to see where your Genes have come from. I recon that you will be having to write long letters from now on I see writers cramp coming on!! Filling in the life gaps should be easier by letter.

Good luck with the trip.

cranni

Well my 1st hubby wanted nothing to do with my 3 kids, but my David has brought them up, and he is the most wonderful father to all 6, they are all treat as his own, and they think the world of him, before we came over i said to my older ones, do u think you should contact your sperm donor before we leave as you may never see him again.
Their answer was no they only had one dad, he is the one who has been there for them.
Dont put your life on hold for him, carry on with your dream, i always say he could have found you sooner if he really wanted to. You can still keep contact and maybe he will come over for a holiday.
Good luck, Denise

manchesterlad

There's always sadness somewhere in situations like this.

I had a lovely daughter, my wife had an affair, we divorced, she moved away with lover and daughter, made contact difficult. I came here for a holiday, met my wife, a widow with 2 lads and stayed. My ex, sick bitch that she is, then cut off all my contact, my daughter was 9 then, and even stopped my mum, dying with breast cancer from contacting her.
That was 11 years ago, my daughter has been lied to and brainwashed and won't have anything to do with me.
The laughable thing about it all is the ex masquerades around Aberdeen as a spiritualist/ pyschic medium....can contact the dead but persecuted the dying and destroyed love amongst the living.
Yeah, there's a lot of heartache about when kids and parents don't know the truth about each other.

bridiej

I agree, think how upset you'd be if you didnt trace him until you got here?

Make the most of the time you have now, he can always visit so you can get to know him better if you want

meelie

So whats your unusual surname then? You've got me intrigued.

poshrice

Lol thanks everyone for your comments as far as my mum goes i don't blame her for anything she had her reasons for doing what she did when i was younger when i met my dad yesterday he told me he used to be an alcoholic mum never told me much about him so i don'tknow if he gave her a hard time or anything but as far as i am concerned that is all in the past. My maiden name was Saveall and when i looked on the electoral roll there where only two people in the entire country with the same name as my dad so i had a 50/50 chance of one of them being the right person luckily i knew he came from essex so i figured that would be the one but didn't have the guts to do anything about it then friday night my cousin contacted me via MSN and i found out i was right about it being him and so the story starts lol. I must say my mum never brainwashed me she never said anything all i got when i asked questions about my dad was he was a bad man you wouldn't want to know him anyway he has probably got kids all over the country as it happens i have 2 older sisters and an older brother, he has step kids from his wife his married to now. I am willing to give both my paretns the benefit of the doubt and see what happens.

Poshrice

cranni

Good for you, my 1st hubby had lots of chances to get together with my 3 , but did not want to know, my kids found out the hard way that he was not bothered, then when my oldest told us at 15 he was gay, that was it, he has never spoken from that day, when we left we had a going away do, his brother came , and his brother asked him to come, but he did not want to. My hubby now has given them everything they needed and they think the world of him. He never made any attempt to see them, and was never stopped. Best way just see what happens, you have enough on your plate at the moment, enjoy. Denise

tracey.d

I'm really pleased for you. It must be good to be in touch with him after all these years. I hope you have a great relationship in the future . Dont blame yourself if it doesnt all work out though.

I have recently been put in contact with my youngest sister who was adopted when she was 6, she is now 24 with 3 lovely boys.

Although I have wanted for years to get in contact with her it is a bit difficult at times because you cant laugh about the mad things that have happened in the past because she wasnt there to experience them.

She is and always will be my sister but there is a kind of invisible barrier there that prevents the closeness that I always dreamed of. I always thought that she would just slot in where she had left a gap but that doesnt appear to have happened. Although she doesnt live too far away we dont see each other often. I recently lost my mobile that has all my numbers in and have been unable to ring her. She has not rung me. I dont know whether it is because we are not the family she had hoped for or because she feels awkward as she got in contact a couple of weeks after I lost my husband so it was a difficult time. My other sister and brother were very focused on me and my kids so maybe she felt strange, who knows.

I am going to try and get back in touch and hopefully build a relationship with her, but I have learnt that things dont always turn out as you had wished.


Tracey