Scots lass doon under

Hi,

We have been here 4 and 1/2 months now, and everything has been terrific so far, we love it , kids love it, we have not had as much as a hiccup, every single thing has went so smoothly since back when we applied for visa, i made the decision before i left the UK that it was for good, no going back. I am on the web cam to family every week, send loads of e-mails , phone calls etc , certainly don't miss my old life, tho miss family but not a great deal, weren't mega close or anything. Friends emigrating next week which i am so looking forward too. But this week has been crazy, i just can't stop crying for 2 minutes and want to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. Even get up during the night and sit and bubble like a baby. Is this normal ?? I don't have or have never suffered from depression or anything like that. Just can't understand why i'm like this.
Thx.

ellie10990

I wonder if its just the relief of the whole roller coaster ride that we are all on whilst preparing to and actually emigrating.

I think once everything settles into some normality the enormity of it all can hit you!!

I have been here 8 months and doing exactly the same

gedge

it's more normal than you possibly think, you've gone though a huge upheaval getting here and probably made a number of sacrifices in the process
try to remind yourself why you wanted to come here in the first place
take a break and enjoy some of it
your friends and family wouldn't want you to be unhappy about coming here would they?
remember that life is not about where you end up but what you do along the way

Nu-Shooz

I agree, maybe it's relief, or anxiety!
You haven't said you don't really like it there, so that makes me think you do like it. 4 months is still very early, you seem to be doing just fine. Everyone cries now and again, it is normal in the settling process. Chin up.

moneypenny20

When you finally stop rushing around like a blue arsed fly getting everything and everyone sorted you suddenly find you're sort of missing something - the turmoil of upping sticks etc and wonder what you do next.

What you do is, you cry a lot, you smile a lot, you get out and about and after a few days you're over that hurdle and move on with your life. Oh and don't assume it's a one off. It could well happen again and again and again. It's good to cry

thewoodz

Hi
i've not been here that long and i've had a few moments like that already (although i know mine is to do with family events back home) i know others who like you have sailed through it all - only to wake up one day and have a cry. hell you've been through a hell of a ride over the last few months - prob not had time to draw breath and as many have already said maybe its finally hitting you about the enormity of it all. but hey its happens to probably more people than u realise - but don't look to inward and think that there's suddenly something wrong with you -

chin up and (((hugs)))

bridie

I'd say it's normal, I remember after about two or three months it's like it suddenly all hits you and sinks in.

Dont worry, it should soon pass

spartacus

I'd say that was pretty much spot on.

It's easy when you're in the thick of things, whether it's the lead up to migration or when you've just arrived, to be so busy 'doing' that you forget about 'being'.

'Doing' and 'being' like to maintain a balance; we can push ourselves to one extreme or the other but only for a relatively short period of time. Maybe things have calmed down for you a little after the move, and with that will come a time where the balance is redressed, a bit like the swing of a pendulum, before returning to a more comfortable state. Feelings can't be rationalised away, they can only be felt, and in being felt they often just disapate of their own accord. Just try not to attach them to the place and time you're in at the moment they probably don't belong here.

It doesn't help that the expectations we have of ourselves are often far higher than those we have of others. You've probably read similar posts from others feeling as emotional as yourself and thought 'you've had a big move, go easy on yourself'. If its good for them, then its also good for you.

There is a reason we're called human beings and not human doings.

All the best

Andy

nightnurse2

Agree with Moneypen and Spartacus - it's when you've done what you've had to do (and no matter how you think things have gone smoothly for you, you still was / are under stress / pressure) that you sit back and it hits you.

When I had my first child, we were living in one room of the house (the bedroom) whilst waiting to get the rest finsihed. Obviously it was stressful but it wasn't until the house was finished and liveable did I start to feel really down. I should have been full of the joys of spring, I had a beautiful baby and lovely house - but I wasn't. Saw a psychologist who told me that I had been running on adrenaline etc and once that had returned to normal when the house was finsihed, I was then looking back on all I'd done and now had the time to feel the stress etc.
Hope you feel better soon, take yourself out, have lunch somewhere nice and treat yourself to something nice

Stitch

Hi there,

It's perfectly normal. It can be a bit of a rollercoaster. So much organising and rushing around and then things start to settle down and emotions can suddenly take over. Just go with the flow. Keep talking and you'll get through it.

Take it easy

Cheers

Ginny

Scots lass doon under

Thanks everyone, it's good to know that it does pass and if it comes back i will be prepared (hopefully). Everyone was spot on to the way i'm feeling so i'm guessing you've ALL been there and back.
Thankyou
Fiona x

quoll

It's the anticlimax thing I suspect but, on a more personal level, have you had to change birth control pills since you came here? (You dont have to answer that!) Progesterone can make you incredibly labile and you dont really know why. Easy to fix though if it is one of the culprits!

dave99

The first 6 months is the worst, after that it gets better, after a year the feelings will have gone completely.

After 2 years you will occasionally feel homesick when something reminds you, maybe a comedian, maybe a news article, it could be something silly. You will feel it for a few minutes but it will pass quicker and quicker the longer you are over.

give it time