Rob12paws

I'm curious to know what general opinion is on something that happened at school on Friday. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable in being rather p*ssed off at one of dd's teachers but I feel that a complaint might be in order.

The school newsletter came home last week, announcing that two teachers would be taking over the shared role of deputy principal on a temporary basis, because the regular deputy principal is off sick. He was wished a speedy recovery, and the principal said he expected him to return later in the term.

Friday, the children in dd's class were making a "Get Well" card for him, and one of the children asked the teacher what was wrong with him. The teacher apparently just said "he's got stomach cancer". So all the children came out of class to announce the news to their waiting parents. And then I suspect that many of them, like me, were given the third degree -"Mum, what's cancer?"

I personally think this teacher has been irresponsible. She's given away a piece of very personal information to a group of children who are not really old enough to make sense of it. One of dd's friends lost her granddad to cancer last year, so she's got a very fixed idea of what having cancer means. Many of the others are just curious to know more and I think it's a bit thick this teacher just dumping it on us parents to try and explain. I don't even think she should have revealed it - she could have said that it wasn't her place to discuss what was wrong, or something along those lines.

Am I over-reacting or being unreasonable here? If not, is a complaint in order?

gobbyjock

I think the teacher could perhaps have been more tactful but I don`t see anything wrong with kids asking about stuff like this it will come up sooner or later and as a parent isn`t it better for you to explain it in terms she will understand , rather than hearsay from classmates. I suppose it depends how old she is, my own daughter was about 3 when my dad died of cancer, she wouldn`t understand completely so I explained that grandad had been very ill blah blah... Years later when she was asking questions about him I explained a bit more fully but also made her aware that although cancer can be very bad it does not mean someone will die from it. You know what she can take in but I think it`s better coming from you, rather than her being frightened unecessarily through mis-information. I guess you can`t protect them forever from this sort of thing.

Jaycee1

You are not overreacting and it seems that the teacher's absence could have been handled a lot better than it has. I am sure that other parents will be visiting the principal to complain. Just wondering - what year group is your child in?
J x

Rob12paws

My girl is in year 4. Her first question was "is he going to die?" Like many children, I suspect she hears the word "cancer" bandied around and has never had need to understand it before. She's a sensible kid, and mature enough to be able to take in a simple explanation but I can think of others whose parents would be less willing to talk about the subject. Like it or not, it is still very much one of those *taboo* issues that, like sex, many parents don't feel comfortable talking about, I think.

My objection really is partly due to the free and easy way in which this teacher passed on personal information about another colleague, and partly because she lit the blue touch paper and left the kids' parents to clear up the mess, iykwim.

gobbyjock

I see your point, with 4 year old I think the teacher should have handled it better and perhaps have worded it differently, rather than just saying he has cancer. To be fair though perhaps the kids caught the teacher on a bad day and she may have been caught off guard and probably worried about her colleague and perhaps not thinking quite straight (I know if I had to look after a load of 4 year olds all day , my head would be twirling on my neck).

sme

The child is in year 4, not 4 years old. I personally think that although it could have been handled slightly more sensitively I don't feel a complaint is warrented.

gobbyjock

That will teach me to read too quick! But I agree with SME, I reckon you should take it on the chin, it`s the sort of thing that kids ask at some time anyway - there is never a good time.

northernbird

I agree G, year 4 is 9 almost 10 years old and if they haven't come across cancer yet then they have been very fortunate.

Jaycee1

It is the fact that she did not explain the situation and has left the parents to answer questions they could not possibly answer. Maybe if you raised this with her she might explain to the class in a more sympathetic way
J x