jwatsonoz

Hi,

We have been in Brisbane for 3 months now and we have loved almost every minute. It is still early days, but I think we made the correct move. The internet and low call costs back to the uk make it extremely easy to contact the people that you care about.

However, you do get to feel the distance when something bad happens. My Grandmother died suddenly yesterday. She brought me up. The UK feels a long way away now that I'm travelling back for the funeral. 27 hours flight each way - there and back in 6 days due to having to return to work.

Also, it is costing about 1000 pounds UK. I really want my wife to come back with me, but we can't really afford two tickets right now. Money asside, I just need to be there.

Lots of things have been going through my mind. The last time she had 'a turn' was when her husband died 20 years ago and she was upset. I know that she was missing us very much and was upset too. I hope that we did not contribute too her death. ..... We thought she had at least another 5 years in her and did not expect it to be the last time we would see her when we left in May. She was 90, but very very strong. She was an incredible lady.

I am not looking forward to travelling back by myself, especially for a stay of only a few days and for that reason. I'm not looking forward to going to the funeral. But, I need to be there to say goodbye and for closure. I want to be there for my sister as well, she is really upset.

So, what have I learnt from this so far?

(1) I still believe that we did the correct thing migrating to Brisbane - and I still want to live there. It is sad to think this, but I haven't got as much back in the UK now.

(2) The phone is fantastic (so cheap too)....but sometimes it is totally inadequate.

(3) I am glad that I can go back.....got the money, employer support etc.... but I think maybe I should of had even more in reserve.

(4) Be prepared for anything, it might happen

I don't really know why I wrote this. I guess I'm feeling sad. However, just make sure that you have enough reserve funds to go back ASAP....cos it might just happen. You WILL want to go back when it does. Don't let it stop you from going though.

Jason

PS. I used to enjoy flying

janeyray

Sorry to hear about your Grandmother


We always said we would keep savings in case of this kind of an emergency, you never know when it will be needed.

DianeOZ

Hello Jason

So Sorry to hear about your Gran. No doubt this is a situation we will all face one day in some shape or form. Being here or there, it is never going to be an easy ride when this sort of thing happens.

She has had a bloody good innings at 90 hasn't she? Don't let guilty feelings spoil your memories of her. You have enjoyed each other for a long time and if she decided that it was her time to go then it was because she was happy with all her memories too, at least she hasn't got to live out her last years missing you terribly.

Chin up, difficult I know.

Glad you are settling in by the way.

jayr

Jason

I am sorry to hear about your loss, you have become all too painfully aware of the one thing we don't like to think about too much, that when it counts the distance really does matter. I have discussed this with my wife and you are right, you can't go back together when these events happen which makes it even harder. All the best for this difficult time and your future here.

Sandra

So sorry for your loss.

This must be a very hard trip to undertake, good planning on having a little money in reserve. I understand it must have been hard to write this on here, but I hope you take support from others whose thoughts are with you at this awful time. I too have put some savings away for what might be an emergency trip for our family. Not for me though I gave up funerals cause I do not have it in me to attend, I believe you are very brave and I hope you gain comfort and support for and from your sister.

Regards

Ceri

Sorry about your grandmother, and it's only natural to feel guilt and great sadness.. I know the feeling only too well.
My hubby's grandparents died while we were in Sing... he couldn't get back to his grandfathers funeral (it was impossible with work, he managed to get back to his grandmothers... but the guilt of not being there in her last days was bad also) ... he was really close to his grandfather.. and the guilt of not being there. I'm having the same problem now... my gran is really ill... my mum is stressed out by looking after her and holiding down a job. I feel guilty! It's hard not being there for family when they need you.

cheers

Copperben

Jason

Deepest sympathies on your loss, I also lost my grandmother in May and flew home for the funeral (from NZ) I'm glad I went not only to say goodbye to nan but also to be there for my family.

I was lucky to have some savings to pay for the flight and got a good deal, I think the worse thing about it is getting the phonecall you do feel so isolated and far a way.

I wish you all the best

TammieJ

My deepest sympathy for your loss.. I wish you strength and courage to face the days ahead.

theguitardoctor

Please accept my condolences......have a safe journey.
Rich.

suz

Hi Jason,
Sorry to hear about your gran, thats going to be one long flight home, good luck with it all.
Suz

whisky

So sorry to hear about your Gran.

Whisky

Carol in Oz

Jason
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We too have been in the same situation. Its not something we want to think about really is it. I flew back to London alone for my mothers funeral - her having been ill but passing away unexpectedly in her sleep.
People around me said whats the point in going for the funeral - couldnt believe what I was hearing! You have to go dont you.

Cherish your memories of your grandmother Jason and know you were loved by her as she was by you. The funeral wont be easy but you will find the strength you need to get through it.

Carol

MaryMc

Jason,
I'm so sorry to hear about your Gran.
This has also happened to us 4 times since we came to NZ. My hubby lost his Dad, Mum (whose funeral he was unable to go to), I lost my Gran and Dad.
Each time we've had to go back alone, as we couldn't afford tickets for all of us.

You know, when we left the UK, my Gran (who brought me up) said, "You go Mary, there's nothing in this country (UK) for you"

I've never forgotten her saying that. I realise now she brought me up well enough to be able to take chances in life.
We had to accept when we left the UK there would be members of the family we wouldn't see again...I think thats one of the hardest things about emigrating.

I did find it hard on the 1st anniversary of my Dad's death, not to be able to go back to Ireland and put flowers on his grave.

However, although I'm glad you're able to go over for the funeral and say your goodbyes to your lovely Gran (very important I feel) it really doesn't matter where our loved ones are buried, the only place they are truly buried is in our hearts.

God speed mate

MaryMc

footie chick

Jason

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Grandmother. Things like this put life into perspective unfortunately my other half lost his Father on Saturday. At the moment we are here but his mother is relying on him immensley at present which is understandable. But questions are arrising from all corners and the pressure is constantly be turned up.


Just take the time to remember the memories.


footie chick

Bidd

Very sorry to hear about your Gran.

Sincere sympathy,

Bidd