Deancm

Living in Australia is nothing like holidaying in Australia. In fact, it's seriously over rated.

You talk about being stuck inside in winter in the UK. Well how about being stuck inside in Australia in summer because it's too bleeding hot to go outside.

Education is crap here in comparison to the UK and will only get worse since they have changed the schools curriculum.

There's crap infrastructure and you need to drive eveywhere.

You can give me the UK anyday (and i've spent over 20 years in Aus).

The best word I can think of to describe Australia would be bland.

Deancm

She will, she's the mother. Mothers always get full custody unless there is something seriously wrong with the mother.

MartinLuther

After being here for 6 years I can't say that I've been stuck inside because of the heat for more than about 3 days in total. Which compares well to the number of days of days I was stuck inside in the UK. And before someone says it, I don't unduly expose myself to the sun. I've not had one bad case of sunburn here and have had fewer cases of mild unexpected sunburn than I had in the UK.

Maybe others are more sensitive flowers than me.

MartinLuther

She'd have to get the father or the court to agree, for her to take the child to another country.

Zambia

I'm with jad you really should let this go. Unless both of you are commited to giving this a go it is pretty much doomed.

Deancm

Not necessarily. If the father doesn't agree it can go before the family law courts for the courts to decide and they will invariably go with the mother.

AlliF

Sounds to me as if he has already said he would compromise a bit by trying it for 6 months and you are refusing to compromise with him! You are saying all the way or nothing and he is saying lets give it a shot for 6 months and look around.
You are then saying you don't want to be together with him for 6 months? Yet in another post you say he wont try Australia for more than a few weeks at a time.
Bear in mind its not like neighbours - you wouldn't necessarily have an instant network of friends and be having barbies in the back yard the moment you landed even if you did emigrate anyway.
There is merit in travelling for 6 months in that you can decide what areas you like and experience a summer and winter (it can get gray and cold in Melbourne too you know!!) and he might come round to the idea of living here or you might decide having experienced 6 months that you don't like it as much as you think - quite a lot of people who move over wish they had done more research on what it was like first before committing fully.

JAJ

"Invariably" ... that's confidently stated.

JAJ

If you have a very good life, in your own country, is it surprising that your husband doesn't necessarily want a change?
Unless he as strong personal reasons for wanting to go to Australia, or a strong sense of adventure.

Have you thought of arranging things to spend a few weeks every January somewhere sunny - Canary Islands, Caribbean, Florida, Hawaii, even Australia? It would probably cost less to do that than turn your lives upside down by emigrating. Might involve schooling issues for your child, but if it was a few weeks probably manageable, especially while he is younger.

koalakim

We did lots of research (holidays, staying with friends etc) but still didn't really prepare you for day to day living!

I can see where you are coming from with the UK winters - I've always hated winter since I was a small child and always used to take a sunshine holiday during the winter when we could. However, winter in Oz can be just as horrible from the point of view of the cold houses!

They are only just cottoning on to insulation and double glazing here and even if you do get double glazing it is no where near as good as the UK. Soooo what this means is sometimes it is warmer outside than in. I could not believe my first winter here (I'm in Mellie) and I was so cold and miserable! We were living in a flat with no central heating so we used to shut all the doors and sit in the lounge with the electric fire (reminded me of when I was a kid ) which was fine until you had to go down the hall to the loo and you'd freeze. Thank goodness for electric blankets for bedtime. Our next houses had hot air heating which is fine all the time it is blowing on you but the minute you turn it off it's cold again. I've been round to friends houses which are nice and warm but then find out they are spending $300 upwards a month on gas..considering our coldest winter in the UK used to cost us about 90 quid a quarter! So if you do come and you don't like winter be prepared for this!

Yes, winter here is better from the light point of view - we still get an hour or so longer days than the UK and even down here in Mellie we very rarely get what we call an English day...grey from dawn till dusk. Usually the sun comes out at some point so that is heaps better.

As others have said I really think you both have to be 100% committed to come otherwise you could find yourself alone in a new country as a single parent and I don't think that will be easy. If you read Jazzy's thread on the Barbie you will see how he faired with him wanting to come out and his Mrs didn't - fingers crossed that will now have a happy ending but it's been a couple of years to get to this point. Even if you are both 100% agreed on coming out once you are here it then can become a different story as one settles and the other doesn't.

We had a happy life in the UK but wanted a taste of adventure and the old "what if" thing but unfortuntely for us we've just done everything at the wrong time which has made it all a bit more difficult than we expected (exchange rate - that old chestnut!). Part of us wanting to live in Australia was to get to see more of the country which we haven't because we're too busy trying to earn a crust. So if your hubby wants to take 6 months out to travel the country then go for it! Because once you get here day to day life takes over and you don't get to go anywhere! As others have said they are quite mean with holiday allowance - which was one reason we sent self-employed but seems to have back fired!

You never know after a few months here your hubby may grow to love it and find "his spot" or you may not like it. It's worth doing rather than upping sticks and coming on your own.

I loved our holidays in Oz and travelled all over and it would take me months to settle back down again afterwards so I can totally understand how you feel but even I would say living here is different. There are lots of things much better than the UK but equally there are lots of things which drives me nuts about the place!

Maybe looking back it would have been easier to rearrange our UK lives and then spend a couple of months out here travelling.

Hope everything works out for you but please don't give up a great relationship as that is worth so much more!

MartinLuther

Isn't that what I said? Apart from the invariably bit which isn't entirely true.

Deancm

Yes because the family law courts always err on the side of the mother.

Deancm

Yes, I didn't read your post fully and couldn't be bothered going back to edit when I did.

dave99

going back to original post as someone who lives in australia now I feel the opposite. I dread the summers here, in the same way you mention dreading the winters back in the UK. At least in the uk when its cold you can put the fire on and wrap up, here theres only so much you can take off in the summer, you just have to suffer with the heat.

As for thinking you will have a more outdoor life here. Well I can definetly say I did more outdoors in the uk than I do in aus. Having to put suncream on all the time and being covered in sweat all day in the summer, not to mention the days when the flies are bad leads me to spend more time indoors under air con than I do spend outdoors. As for enjoying the warmth of the sun on your face, well, a few weeks of seeing people with with bandage patches on their face and arms where they have had to had moles removed will put a stop to that feeling. Seeing someone with a bit missing out of their ear made me start thinking more seriously about suncreen.

Sorry to be a bit of a downer, but I would advise that the life your imagining, the dream, is proberbly going to be different than your reality if you make it over

Cheetah7

Look at it this way:

What you have now + what you feel you have to gain - what you have to lose = what you are left with.
Only you can do that 'sum' and only you will know what you are left with and if it will be worth the sacrafice.

Sometimes it is better to try and turn your existing life around by making subtle changes than it is to turn everything upside down both mentally and financially.