British Expats - when do you know it was the right move to make?

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- - when do you know it was the right move to make? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/when-do-you-know-right-move-make-448719/)

onepearlyb

May 8th 2007 11:10 pm

when do you know it was the right move to make?

Hi guys,

Bit wary of posting my thoughts on our move here due to some idiot on the forum writing nasty replies. So, it's making me hesitate when it comes to posting anything at the moment!
Anyway, he knows who he is and that I'm NOT looking for his input in this posting, or indeed any of my postings!

We moved here five weeks ago from the UK. I've been here before but the hubbie hasn't. We love the sunshine and the outdoor life and the cafe society - but it's not home, is it? I'm NOT saying that we're about to pack up and turn back - NO WAY. Just that I was quite homesick last weekend and wondered just how long we'd stay out here. I was worried that even thinking that was a bad sign and that I really shouldn't be thinking that way at this early stage. But I AM thinking it!
Just now, I feel we'll stay here and get citizenship then perhaps move back or else go somewhere else.
I think that maybe it's just because we haven't started our jobs yet and that it's so easy to miss being around familiar faces and those people who know you well. You have to start from scratch when you move here. I admit it's been enjoyable initially, it's just that I find it hard to believe I've left the UK and family behind me forever. I should know that nothing is forever, and that I'm free to move wherever and whenever I choose. It's just the unsettledness and homesickness that's a total bummer for me.
Any positive views/own experiences welcome, but no slagging off ok??

*pearly*

Gems	May 8th 2007 11:17 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Hello,
please keep posting. We are here to listen and help.

Im not in Aus yet, but abroad. So know that the first few months most people have doubts.

Maybe this is what you are having now.

Write a list of everything you like in Aus this will make things clearer.

Id say its early days and your just all over the place. Dont rush into making a decision yet.

Australia may or may not be the place for you but only you will know that.

Voice your worries, and this will help. Nobody expects you to fly the other side of the world and everything to be perfect. No place is perfect and it takes time to adjust.

Hope things work out, hang on. Thinks could look rosy again.

GEMS

Wendy

May 8th 2007 11:18 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Quote:

Originally Posted by onepearlyb (Post 4755864)

Hi pearly :)

I think some of us know straight away that it's the right or wrong thing for us, and some of us take our time to decide. I also think that for most of us the first 3 - 6 months are very unsettling, because everything is unfamiliar and we are adjusting to it.

There's also the fact that we've spent all that time whilst applying holding our breath, so to speak, and when we arrive it's like 'OK what now', it takes time for it all to sink in and for you to get some sort of normality back.

I'd say what you are feeling is pretty normal, I hope you are one of the ones that it gets better for after all you've been through to get here. :)

Gems	May 8th 2007 11:20 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

ps, its not forever!

You can visit the UK and they can visit you. Also your not an old convict doing time;) , you can leave any time you wish!

I moved abroad, and now hoping Aus will be my final destination.

But know I can pick up a phone, and get on a plane if needed.

Technology is now great. Your family isnt that far away

Gems

onepearlyb

May 8th 2007 11:28 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Thanks Gems and Wendy. It's good to read what I already know in my "semi-rational" mind. As you say I am a bit all over the place at times just now. Th emajority of the time I've been here has been great and I feel so lucky to be here.
I have more than most to have particular worries about Re a health condition and I have left behind a familiar and supportive group of specialists, so I feel quite out on a limb just now without them. I'll get it sorted out soon though.
Gems - I have had two great holidays in Prague ( old town square ) and it was great to see that that is where you are right now!
Wendy, I've thought about you often. Hope your loving the life that took so long to obtain!

Cheers girls.

*pearly*

Here comes the sun

May 8th 2007 11:32 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Im not in Aus yet but have just moved to birmingham from quite a rural area leaving my old job and friends behind. I appreciate its not the same as moving abroad! But im finding it hard to settle in at work as i miss my old colleauges and familiarity. We ve been in brum three months still havent met many new people but hoping it will change. I think its the same when ever you move somewhere new it takes time to build new relationships and a lot of energy!

Things will improve when you put down some routes and you have the option to come back but try and remember why you left in the first place!

Wendy

May 8th 2007 11:37 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Quote:

Originally Posted by onepearlyb (Post 4755942)

I was so nervous about going to the doctors here that I put it off for weeks :o I know my thyroid problem isn't nowhere near as serious as your condition but I must say I received the best care ever, so don't be nervous about going and getting yourself sorted.

sj oldfield

May 8th 2007 11:39 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Quote:

Originally Posted by onepearlyb (Post 4755864)

We all feel that way, give it time and it will feel like home. Might take a couple of years, but you will get there!!!!!!!!! All the best with it!!!!:thumbsup:

Geelong Gent

May 9th 2007 12:39 am

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Quote:

Originally Posted by onepearlyb (Post 4755864)

It's just the unsettledness and homesickness that's a total bummer for me.
Any positive views/own experiences welcome,

*pearly*

Once you get into a routine ie daily commute to work, weekly shop, paying normal bills, normal arguements with telcos, water boards etc you will settle.

Before you start work you may feel awkward because you feel like your on holiday but at the same time guilty because you don't feel you are contributing (in terms of going to work and earning), your just spending holiday cash.

The first 3 months its best not to expect a silver bullet or wind yourself up expecting some special wave of euporia. It builds up over time and gradually Melbourne will sink in as home.

For us it was returning from an overseas trip where we really just could not wait to get "home".

Dorothy

May 9th 2007 1:13 am

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

5 weeks is still pretty early days. I found with myself it was hard after about 8 or 9 weeks. Cried for days on end, threatened to leave hub and go home (he just laughed and asked if I needed a ride to the airport), missed everything and generally hated the sight of palm trees and magpies. After a couple of weeks things started getting better. I didn't need the ride to the airport anymore and I learned to enjoy Australia. Now I would really have to think seriously whether I would go back again. Australia is now my home. It's where my husband and kids are happy so that makes me home.
It does get better with some time.

Greg Thomas

May 9th 2007 1:53 am

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Don't mean to butt in - it's my first post though!

Don't give yourself a hard time. Your feelings are entirely natural, you wouldn't be human if you didn't question such a life changing decision.

It will take time, and it's not right for everyone, but try to concentrate on the positives.

asher

May 9th 2007 2:27 am

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

I agree with what the others have said it is the same as the doubts before you came

it is something most people go through

give yourself some time

go easy on yourself I am not in Oz but have lived lots of places in Europe

the strangeness will wear off, :thumbsup:

Take care thinking of you:)

Bexie

May 9th 2007 3:38 am

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Quote:

Originally Posted by asher (Post 4756795)

Thinking of you too, it's great to hear form you and I am glad that you are 'ok'. I am getting a bit anxious, but I am sure that's normal! Keep posting. There are more of us that will give you support and positives than will give you a hard time!
Take care and keep posting!
Bexie

kt.2006

May 9th 2007 8:29 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Hello

I felt exactly the same as you after I had been here 7 weeks, and so did my husband. I could not believe how homesick I felt and I used to wake up with a sick feeling in my stomach and wonder "what have I done coming here".

It wasn't just family and friends that I missed, I missed everything that was familiar to me. I had a good life in the UK and that made it even more difficult being here as I wanted to go back to my old life.

It certainly does get better with time and I started to feel better after about 4 months. Now I really like it here but I still really miss family and friends. Once you have started work, made friends and found your way round the unfamiliar Australian systems you will start to feel better.

Some of my friends are ping pong poms who had gone home looking for that rose coloured life that they thought the UK could offer them again. After a while back in the UK they all came back.

I hope things improve for you and you start to enjoy being here.

Shakmaty

May 9th 2007 8:59 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Quote:

Originally Posted by onepearlyb (Post 4755864)

Don't be embarrassed or scared to feel the way you do: it's what makes you an individual, and there is no right or wrong when it comes to settling in a new country. I, for instance, spent about 4 months with no clue as to what I was going to do. I worked only a few days in that time and then got a lucky break. However, I looked at the move almost as a big holiday/adventure, and to some extent, it still feels like a holiday. I walk about virtually everyday and experience something new, like a smell, a sight or a person that I've not encountered before. I feel like a three year old taking in as many sensory experiences as possible, and trying to interact as much as possible with as many people as possible. I don't feel a pressure to succeed or belong, but am happy to get by day to day, and things seem to be going swimmingly:)

Feel free to PM me if you want to meet up with Cas and I and we'll find somewhere to go have a coffee and a chat. Beware though, we both love it here:o

Shakmaty

May 9th 2007 9:01 pm

Re: when do you know it was the right move to make?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Here comes the sun (Post 4755960)

Im not in Aus yet but have just moved to birmingham from quite a rural area leaving my old job and friends behind. I appreciate its not the same as moving abroad! But im finding it hard to settle in at work as i miss my old colleauges and familiarity. We ve been in brum three months still havent met many new people but hoping it will change. I think its the same when ever you move somewhere new it takes time to build new relationships and a lot of energy!

Things will improve when you put down some routes and you have the option to come back but try and remember why you left in the first place!

OMG, you poor sod....OZ is nowhere near as alien as Brum:lol:

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