Dills

I am totally addicted to this forum, and been reading an awful lot over the weekend. What is standing out is peoples obsession with making friends when they arrive in Australia. I am currently in the UK and have very few friends through choice. I have my work and my four kids, my mum lives an hour away and my sister 5 minutes around the corner, probably see her once a month.

Making friends would be way down on my list of priorities, more important for my kids to make friends etc. My only worry if I ever did emigrate is having nobody to meet me at the airport, but I am a fly by the seat of your pants kind of woman, so would just get a taxi to the rental or something.

Claire x

Hebe

Good for you. However, I, and probably most other people, are not like you. I want/need friends for many reasons - that doesn't mean that I am not independent and can't get along with my own company.

Dills

I appreciate that everyone needs friends, of course we do. However I wouldnt place such huge importance on it initially, friendships take time to develop and become real friendships, just reading through the forum, alot of people say how isolated they feel not having friends after 3/4 weeks of arriving, even if you did make friends really quickly, they surely wouldnt feel like close dependable friendships until much later. You are right, I am different in that I enjoy my own company, I love reading and can get totally lost in a good book etc. I suppose its the single parent in me, the more time I have spent on my own the more I like it

Claire x

Pozz

I do understand your point. When I moved from the north to the south I gradually built up a new network of friends, but my now ex wife just couldnt do it and constantly pined for her old friends.... ironically now we are divorced she never moved back and still has no friends!

I think its more of a social progression thing, friends open doors etc...

odyssey

I think the key to what you have said, is having 4 kids

I am a rather social creature and had so many friends at home that I often found it hard to diarise them. I came here and was SO glad of the break. Now with kids, I cant be bothered much and like my own space. In the last 7 years I have gone more solo and it really suits me.

You do pick more up though unintentionally along the way!

kporte

At some point you may hit hard times(I hope not though!)then you will realise the importance of friends.
Everyone is different but to me, friends are a priority right near the top. A decent house or job is actually fairly easy to find, finding a decent friend involves luck, effort and the full application of your instinct.

Dills

I agree with your point to a point lol. I have hard times here in the UK, however I just get on with it and sort it out. I hate asking anyone for help, just a personality trait I guess. I wouldnt dream of asking the few friends that I do have to help me in anyway, like lending me money etc. I do enjoy a good natter with a mate, but can function just as easily without it.

Are you starting to see why I dont have many friends

Zambia

I think friends are important for a few reasons.

One we all need an outlet even so we can talk about our friends with our partners. Or vice versa.

Sometimes you just need people it can be very dis-heartening when you are stuck at work, your wife needs a hand and you have no-one you can call.

Vash the Stampede

A lot of Poms arrive in Australia and complain after two years that they don't have as many friends as they did in the UK. (This is usually blamed on Australians, for some strange reason).

What they seem to forget is that you can't replace several decades of friendships within the space of a few short years in a new country. After all, they didn't accumulate all their UK friends in two or three years, so why would Australia be any different?

Sally Simpson

I think the point of having good friends is that you don't have to ask for help, they offer it!

spartacus

I am a rock
I am an iiiiiiiislaaaand

Sally Simpson

It's too early for singing Sparty!
Ssshhh!

Dills

:

Dills

I have such crap friends then never offer me nowt

MartinLuther

I think it comes down to personality types. Myers-Briggs would classify it as I (Introverted* type) or E (Extroverted type). *Note that this is not derogatory in Myers-Briggs. A study of the US (which will have a similar trend to the UK and Aus) shows that about 20% of people are type I. These are people who are happy to function on their own (internal thinkers) whereas type E tend to need to be with other people (external thinkers). I think this is one of the reasons why we still need offices in industries that don't need offices. A lot of people need to interact with other people to function.

I'm like you. I like having friends (especially drinking and exercise buddies) but I can function quite easily without them. Thus making friends wasn't a top priority and is just something I let happen. My wife is the opposite.