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What would you do?

What would you do?

Old Apr 18th 2008, 9:03 am
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Default What would you do?

We are flying to Sydney in three weeks time and i have a dilema re the family thing. We are having a leaving party organised by OH family five days before we leave. I know this is going to be very emotional for her, though it will be nice to be able to see everybody before we go.
The thing is, the plan is that this is the sunday, and we are being taken to London on the Friday to stay overnight for the Saturday morning flight from LHR. The idea being that we will stay at OH brothers, who will take us to the airport on the morning.
BUT. The main family the OH is going to miss is her brother and his two children, (we dont have children and she loves them a lot).
Well i have being thinking. Should i encourage OH that we should let the family party be the big goodbye and instead of staying with her brother, just book a hotel at the airport to stop her feeling all the emotions of leaving twice?
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 9:06 am
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Default Re: What would you do?

DON"T DO THE AIRPORT THING Seriously, people end up sobbing for the entire flight after airport goodbyes. Go out on a high with the party and stop in an airport hotel the night before. Some people, I think, need the high emotion but it would freak me out. We wanted to look forward to our new lives, not start the life sobbing and missing the old life before we'd even left it.

Good luck.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 9:09 am
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Default Re: What would you do?

Originally Posted by moneypen20
DON"T DO THE AIRPORT THING Seriously, people end up sobbing for the entire flight after airport goodbyes. Go out on a high with the party and stop in an airport hotel the night before. Some people, I think, need the high emotion but it would freak me out. We wanted to look forward to our new lives, not start the life sobbing and missing the old life before we'd even left it.

Good luck.
Agreed.

You will have enought to stress and worry about at the airport without the added Family thing. You will need to keep a clear and level head at this point. Dont make things worse for yourselves.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 9:26 am
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Default Re: What would you do?

Originally Posted by moneypen20
DON"T DO THE AIRPORT THING Seriously, people end up sobbing for the entire flight after airport goodbyes. Go out on a high with the party and stop in an airport hotel the night before. Some people, I think, need the high emotion but it would freak me out. We wanted to look forward to our new lives, not start the life sobbing and missing the old life before we'd even left it.

Good luck.

AGREED TOO!! We did a party on the Sunday before we left ( Saturady AM flight) friends party again (in the pub) on the Thursday night, said goodbyes to them then, called at both sets of parents on the way to the airport hotel on the Friday evening.My sister took the day off work on the Friday and to be honest it felt like someone had died all day!! The thing is they are sad because you are leaving a hole in their same old life where as you want to start your brand new one... well thats how I felt anyway. It would feel so depressing the 24 hours before you go staying with family I would imagine. It was awful at the parents before we left but we stayed 10 minutes, drove very quietly to the airport hotel, got pissed very quickly and rushed for the plane the next day. I would not have wanted to do what we did on the Friday evening at the airport...

And the tears thing is right.. I was so busy up to the flight and didnt cry at any of the partys or goodbyes ( what a hard cow!!! Yep!!) but sat in my seat on the plane and burst into tears!!!

Take my advice... Book her a lovely hotel, have a nice meal there with good wine, try to chill out together and start your new adventure with just the two of you...

I dont envy you by the way... but its worth it, trust me!!!
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 10:07 am
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Default Re: What would you do?

AGREED TOO !!! We havent left the UK yet but we have said we will make our own way to the airport. I know whats its like saying goodbye at the airport, my mum left me 10 years ago to start a new life in Spain, and when she had to go through to the departure area, we had to be prized apart, it was the most heart rendering thing iv'e every had to do and then i cried all the way home.
I would suggest you book a hotel, chill out and look forward to your new life.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 10:10 am
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Default Re: What would you do?

AGREED TOO TOO. Don't do the airport goodbye, bad idea.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 10:25 am
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Default Re: What would you do?

I agree with everyone else. I think airport goodbyes are often not a good thing. Personally i know it would take me hours to recover from one - not a good start to a long plane journey!
I dont plan on seeing any relatives or friends the day we plan to leave...i think it would be too upsetting for us and our kids.
I hope you enjoy your leaving party - good luck for the future!
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 11:23 am
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Default Re: What would you do?

I was in a similar situation - very close to my brothers family (2 kids) and they intended coming to the airport with my mum and dad. I said no, just wanted to go without big scenes at the airport.

Wise decision - the goodbye to my 5 year old niece was hard enough - would have been 10 times worse at the airport.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 11:54 am
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Default Re: What would you do?

Hi,

We didn't have a party and 'thought' we would not do the airport thing. OH's mum told me that I could not stop her coming and saying goodbye to her son, even before we ourselves knew what we were doing. So I asked my family to come as well so that I had their support. I'm glad that we had the close family all in the same place to say good bye, but the pain and stress it caused us all was awful. It did not put us in a good place for the trip and we were still in shock when we got to Oz.

As you have a party organized I would leave it at that. That will be your 'good bye' not the airport.

Just my thoughts

Good Luck

T
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 12:04 pm
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Default Re: What would you do?

I've worried that a few people that might take the attitude of your OH's mum.....and can already imagine the stress from making it clear that we dont want people there... Originally we thought we may be staying with my parents and going to the airport from theirs - but as things have turned out - we'll probably be at a hotel so that will be easier. I have had many a daydream about me and my daughter sobbing as we drove away from their house... My OH's sister lives in perth and whenever relatives stay they all go to the airport for farewells....i can appreciate that they want to see that person(s) for as long as possible - but it's emotional torture!
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 3:02 pm
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Default Re: What would you do?

Must just be my family who took us to the airport, chucked the bags out and gave us a quick hug before driving off then.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 4:47 pm
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Default Re: What would you do?

I totally understand how the OP wife feels. I am VERY close to my sister and her two daughters and the thought of not seeing them tears me apart- just reading this post is making me cry! I know I have got to make the move to Oz, I have been wanting to do it for the past 7 years since I went there backpacking but I really don't know how I'm going to cope! Probably sounds crazy to some people but the thing is I'm not unhappy with my life here (I have a great social life, am very close to my parents as well as my sister and her family) but it's just this desire to try living in another culture/country. I am hoping that once my husband and I have our own children the gap will be filled slightly, not that I will love or miss my nieces any less but that I will be so busy with my own kids I won't have so much time to miss them. Time will tell I guess...
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 5:13 pm
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Default Re: What would you do?

omg I am soooo worried now we have a big party 2 weeks before we go as have a wedding the weekend before, and now for the bit I am really worried abut all the family want to come to the airport and say good bye to us and the kids (4 and 2 years). I want them to come but this thread has made me feel sick as I don't know how to break there hearts and say no.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 7:05 pm
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Default Re: What would you do?

Originally Posted by IanJakeCharlieDaddy
omg I am soooo worried now we have a big party 2 weeks before we go as have a wedding the weekend before, and now for the bit I am really worried abut all the family want to come to the airport and say good bye to us and the kids (4 and 2 years). I want them to come but this thread has made me feel sick as I don't know how to break there hearts and say no.
Everyone on this thread is just giving their own opinions either based on experience already - or what they anticipate happening to them.

You say that you want your family to come - then let them come....

You have to do what feels right for you personally...

I just know i would find it too upsetting - but i'm sure there are people that were relieved to have had that last contact for however long it may be for...

I guess it depends on how you will react and how the family reacts when at the airport. If everyone is really happy for you all it would probably not be too bad. I have feelings of guilt about abandoning my parents and taking the kids (who they adore) away from them....So i just couldnt look them in the eye the day we leave for good..
Your children are probably too young to get overly upset if everyone is happy and waving you all off on your "new adventure".
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