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-   -   What would you Do? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/what-would-you-do-261151/)

clevs Oct 20th 2004 5:56 am

What would you Do?
 
The story goes like this, mother owned a house in UK sked us to rent it from her until our visas came through, previously she had rented it to some students about 7 in total and they trashed the place. So instead of us buy another place 2 years ago we agreed to renovate the property. We then came to a figure for doing it and all had agreed.

Found out we had our visas in Oct 2003, still completing the house, we put in on the market Dec 2003, left for Aus in April 2004. But the house wasn't sold.

My mother made a surprise appearance at my sisters two weeks before we came out here, (of forgot to say mother lives in Europe). We had a big do the Sat before we left andshe was invited to that. He excuse for turning up early was so that she couldhave her girls together for the last time in a long time. If you know what I mean. Selfish as per usual as she left us when I was 14 and my sister 9.

By this time there was steam coming out of my ears as she had selfishly done exactly what she wanted to do, as she always does.

Before we left I had words with her and had rebelled on what had happened 20 years ago. Where my sister rebelled at 15. Any what was said wasn't nice, by either of us. But what has been said is done. :mad:

By the second month of being here she wrote me most crappiest and nastiest letter anyone could have written let along a mother to a daughter, advising us that they would not be paying us our fee. Well that was our house down payment fee gone out the window. Not too sure what to do now, looked into putting a block on the house sale that is going through now but it is so jargon orientated that I am just mixed up. :mad:

What should I do? :confused:

All answers greatfully received. :(

Gary / Terri Oct 20th 2004 6:56 am

Re: What would you Do?
 
Not sure is the real answer, however if you want some advice here it is...its all about cost and your new life...if a trip/phone call can resolve this then try that only if the cost is viable, don't use lawyers it will get messy and expensive and as I presume there is nothing in writing need I say anymore, I also presume the rent you paid was maybe below market rate?? if this is the case check what the real loss is. Finally don't let it screw up your new life so you have a smaller house so what! you are starting a grea new life in the sunshine how good is that!!!.
Hope this helps

Gary an Terri

Gary / Terri Oct 20th 2004 6:56 am

Re: What would you Do?
 
Not sure is the real answer, however if you want some advice here it is...its all about cost and your new life...if a trip/phone call can resolve this then try that only if the cost is viable, don't use lawyers it will get messy and expensive and as I presume there is nothing in writing need I say anymore, I also presume the rent you paid was maybe below market rate?? if this is the case check what the real loss is. Finally don't let it screw up your new life so you have a smaller house so what! you are starting a great new life in the sunshine how good is that!!!.
Hope this helps

Gary an Terri

clevs Oct 20th 2004 9:56 pm

Re: What would you Do?
 
Thanks for reply to my thread, You are so right and we have already made that decision, and enjoying every minute.

The £ doesn't mean that much when you have a great life around you and your family.

Lara

scrawni Oct 20th 2004 10:08 pm

Re: What would you Do?
 
Lara,

Just sent you a pm.

Mandy

banjo Oct 20th 2004 10:24 pm

Re: What would you Do?
 
without knowing the ins and outs of your particular situation, and all the hurts done by and to whom.....at some point the past has to be put behind you. Unfortunately we can't choose our parents (I would definitely have chosen differently ;) ) and so we have to move on.

I have two lovely boys who have yet to recieve so much as a birthday card from their grandparents on my side. I let this eat away at me for a long while, but now I think that I will keep my side right so they can't turn around and say,'but you....' So, as much as I would like to tell them both their fortune - I don't. Instead I try to email once a week, send photos etc. etc and live in the hope that one day it will reach them.

Your Mum not upholding her end of the bargain is disgraceful, but if it were me.....keep the lawyers out of it at all costs. That will just make things infintely worse. She is probably just angry at hearing a few home truths. What about writing to her and expressing your disappointment at her decision (without being acusatory) and seeing whether any change of heart follows.

All in all though....you know her better than anyone on here. You have to do what seems right to you. Forgiveness is essential to your future peace of mind and well-being though.

clevs Oct 20th 2004 10:28 pm

Re: What would you Do?
 
Banjo thanks for the encouragement, I know what you mean though.

I have written to her but the partner seems to be interfering, so I have dropped it and let them get on with there life ( as she put it).

I also have 2 great kids and fab husband and we have come here and are having a great time, no worries. As I say we got here, we can get through this.

Thanks
Lara


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