Forshac

Hi Guys,

With a fear of sounding like a whinging pom...

We have been here for about 8 weeks now and we have yet to have a full happy day!! It's awful.

Hubby started work 3 wks ago and is walking around in a bubble as he cannot believe how behind the times everything is (he is a mechanic for MBenz) he really is shocked by it all and apparently he works for one of the better dealerships...

I start work on Monday. I am looking forward to getting back into a routine I must say.

It feels like we have put down our rose colour glasses and we cannot find them.

The great thing about the move and one that I should be grateful for, is how close this move has made us both. We are both in our early 30's and have had a great life so far, lots of travel, loads of fab experiences, the list goes on.

Amazing how you think - was the UK that bad? We really know that we came here for a lifestyle change i.e get out of the rat race and start planning children in fantastic surroundings. But we cannot help but think we could have all this back in the UK, with everything we know and love.

Yes I know a whinging Pom - but seriously is this normal?

Wendy

I can't say I've had any problems myself but I know there are a few people who say it's the culture shock.

I think it's supposed to take a while to adjust to the differences, some say a few months, others say a year or two.

You need to just focus on what you came for and try to get on with it. Hopefully it will get better for you soon

Instead of looking on it as what you can get out of it, try looking on it as a new experience and the opportunity to have a totally different life than you are used to, not everyone is that lucky.

Exile

I think it's very common for people who didn't have such bad lives in the UK. I also came here thinking it would be good to slow things down, but I think I overdid it.

chels

I think what you are feeling is normal for some people (not all of course). It's a bit of a reality shock after all that time dreaming about your new life in Australia.

I hope that when you start work, the routine and opportunity to meet new people will bring you happy days again Those glasses are somewhere, just a bit hidden right now!

Moving also brought me and my OH together, we are very close now (we also had lots more rows than we ever had in England, but never mind!).

We haven't escaped the rat race unfortunately, and work just as hard (sometimes harder) over here - apart from the days when my boss is out of the office and I read BE all day . But that's a lifestyle choice I suppose, we could live in a more relaxed city doing less stressful jobs than we do now.

Two months isn't long really - two years is what most people say it can take to feel settled in...

And don't worry about coming across like a whinging pom - there are quite few people who felt the same as you did, hopefully they will be able to reassure you with their own experiences.

Where are you living Forshac?

gedge

don't worry about what's normal, that don't matter
is it really just the differences that have stopped you having "a full happy day"?
you are bound to find things different so don't waste effort in comparing or trying to change what you can't
what you've got to do is find ways to enjoy what you've got today

where are you? have you started socialising?
perhaps there is a meet up near you soon? or maybe you could suggest one

start focusing on the positives, it'll help no end

Buzzy--Bee

I recommend you read the 5 reasons why you love Oz thread.



Buzzy

Exile

Good idea. Whatever you do, don't look at the "five reasons why you want to move back to the UK thread"

Seriously, attitudes can be contagious, and sometimes it's hard to see the positives. Many people don't see them until they get back to the UK and remember what they had in Australia. Human nature, it seems.

Not thinking of it as a permanent move seems to help a lot of people. The UK will still be there, and if you start a family you still have plenty of time to change your mind about where you want to live before the children are settled in schools, etc.

Sounds like you are in a win-win situation. See it as an adventure, and if that doesn't work, at least you will go back with a new found appreciation of the old country.

Lord Pom Percy

Where abouts in Oz do you live? perhaps try going for a holiday in a few months in summer and see some of the nicer places of OZ, that might make you feel better.

amanda34

Totally normal I think...I wrote something on here just the other day not too dissimilar. I arrived four weeks ago and couldnt even put my finger on what exactly was bugging me. I felt low, miserable, weird...couldnt even tell you how I was feeling. I was so frustrated that I couldnt get a pint of milk on a Sunday morning or after 5.30pm etc etc.....it drove me potty and it was all the negative thingst hat seemed to focus my mind. I had started work way too quickly (two days after arriving) and hadn't done the things that were the reason I moved here.

I spoke about it on here, realised it was something that most people go through, you cant find out what it is it just seems to be a grump.......after hearing that it was normal and I wasnt turning manic....I woke up feeling great this morning, the sun is shining like crazy and I am going to spend the weekend having fun.

Forshac

Thanks Guys...

I guess I need to chilllll-out a little.

We are living in Melbourne out in the Eastern suburbs. I do think alot of the feeling is not having our friends arounds us, as we are a sociable pair! I have only had you guys to talk to today!!

I need to get out more...

I think you a right also, in that we need to stop thinking what are we getting out out of being here and just take it for what it is. I'm sure that's also putting pressure on.

Again thank you!

Desire

Don't worry Forshac, your are normal. It's not always an easy transition
I am still struggling after 15 months and sometimes still wonder, maybe if i could have made a few life changes in the Uk, that would have been enough
It does get easier

arkon

I too think if you had a good life in the UK and were coming here for a lifestyle change as we did then you are probably in for a big dissapointment. My advice is if at all in doubt DONT do what we did and set down roots by buying a house etc. thinking that would make it better. All it does is make it harder to move back. Good luck and I hope it all works out well in the end.

Wol

Give it a year or two for your standards to drop to the median Oz ones and you'll be happy again. It sounds harsh but it's true.

Exile

Got your flame-proof suit on?

samnsam

Hi, I think what your going through at the moment is a case of "THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER". What you need to remember are the reasons why you left UK. I'm stuck on the Isle of Wight where the average wage is £17k and house prices on average are £190k, petrol £1.01p, cant afford a Sunday roast as would have to pay around £12.00 for a bit of lamb to feed family of 5, Its raining cats and dogs and our gas and electricity as jumped up by 72% in last 4 years, kids have been on waiting lists to join various sports clubs for over 6 months, we haven't had a dentist for the last 2 and half years because of shortage of NHS dentists and the list goes on and on.
Ive heard from BE that it takes at least 2 years before you feel at home. Give it time and you will get there.
I wish you all the very best and I hope you start to feel more positive about your move very soon.
Sam x.