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At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Old Apr 25th 2008, 7:11 am
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

I've only scanned through everyone else's responses, but I thought I'd tell you what we did.

My general advice is to tell them ASAP! That way they can get the initial shock over with and you can start making the most of the time left together.

To be honest though, we had it quite good. Kate's Mum & Dad are already in Aus, and she doesn't have much family in the UK. My familt are split and spread out, so not particularly close.

We'd visited Aus quite a few times, and my folks weren't supprised when we told them - in fact Grandads words were "about time, don't know why it's took this long - good on you!"

We spent 5 weeks down under last August and knew that would be our 'decission time'. I'd arranged to visit a school on work experience whilst we were there. During a call back to my Dad I told about my visit to a school not thinking that might look strange to him. He asked straight out: "Planning the emmigrate then?" It wasn't how I wanted to tell him, but I wasn't going to lie either. I told him that by the time we got back to the UK, we would know if we were going ahead with it...

So we made it public knowledge when we got back in September, and hope to be moving in August.

Emotions are mixed.
Grandparents are cool.
Dad is happy for us, but obviously a bit sad too. We're spending a week in Greece together in 5 weeks though, I've got a feeling they'll be some emotions let out then...
Mum is OK with it and has started asking more about where we are going etc. Although every time I visit, she asks "I will see you again before you move won't I?"

We've always worked on "when", not "if" - but even if you're playing it safe during your application, tell your family your plans. I think it'd be better to tell them ASAP, even if it doesn't work out, rather than leave it until it's definate, and then not have long to enjoy time together before you go...

Cheers,
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Old May 5th 2008, 8:34 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Well, I started this thread back in Mid-April and this weekend we finally told my parents. Dad was OK, said that he was sad but if it was the right thing for our family then we should go for it. Mum was not so happy. Had to leave the room, was obviously in shock, but did say that they had an inkling that it was coming. Said she didn't sleep that night and spent a lot of the next day crying. However, by the evening had thought it through and said that she wanted to be kept informed on progress and would support us where she could.
My brother was fine - his first reaction was, great...somewhere to go on holiday!

My wife is now even more concerned about telling her Mum, based on the reaction mine had!
Reading the other comments on this thread though, this does seem to be a common reaction, i.e. shock and sadness followed by a slow acceptance. Best of luck to all those yet to do it.
Chris.
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Old May 5th 2008, 8:41 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Originally Posted by chasmw
Well, I started this thread back in Mid-April and this weekend we finally told my parents. Dad was OK, said that he was sad but if it was the right thing for our family then we should go for it. Mum was not so happy. Had to leave the room, was obviously in shock, but did say that they had an inkling that it was coming. Said she didn't sleep that night and spent a lot of the next day crying. However, by the evening had thought it through and said that she wanted to be kept informed on progress and would support us where she could.
My brother was fine - his first reaction was, great...somewhere to go on holiday!

My wife is now even more concerned about telling her Mum, based on the reaction mine had!
Reading the other comments on this thread though, this does seem to be a common reaction, i.e. shock and sadness followed by a slow acceptance. Best of luck to all those yet to do it.
Chris.
Chris -

It's heart wrenching! I feel like I'm deserting them.

OH told his mom today now that we know we have enough points. Told her it's an adventure for our family. We'll try it for a year and see.

She took it hard. It's not that things will change much - we haven't seen her since our youngest was a week old (he's 17 months now).

We'll see in time how things work out.
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Old May 5th 2008, 8:49 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Anyone try giving a webcam as a gift to an "older" parent (mine's 71). How did that work out? Did they use it or find it too difficult?

I bought one for OH's mom for mother's day. We'll see if it works well or not.

What service do you recommend to use with it?
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Old May 5th 2008, 9:33 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Originally Posted by tiger222
Anyone try giving a webcam as a gift to an "older" parent (mine's 71). How did that work out? Did they use it or find it too difficult?

I bought one for OH's mom for mother's day. We'll see if it works well or not.

What service do you recommend to use with it?
My parents have just got Broadband and a laptop. Last night I showed them how, using MSN Live Messenger and my webcam, they could see us. My mum thought it was brilliant. She's learning to use the computer quite quickly and I think will cope if I buy them a webcam as well.

My grandfather is 92 and last year he took a computer course. He learnt how to use the Internet, write emails, use Word, etc., and ended up winning some student award in London! So, 71 is a spring chicken by comparison!
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Old May 5th 2008, 9:36 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We've started discussing again recently, and advised everyone straight away - even if it doesn't come off!

My Wife is very close to her parents, but they hope to retire out in Australia anyway within 4 or 5 years, so this shouldn't be a massive problem.
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Old May 5th 2008, 9:40 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Told my relatives from day one. No point in hiding it.
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Old May 5th 2008, 10:51 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We told both sets this weekend that we are going back.1 set v disappointed hoping for a miracle. My Mum cried solidly for 5 mins she was so delighted she said it was the best news ever as she couldn't see what had possessed us to come back.Even said would pay for flights for us to go tomorrow instead end of year (do you think shes trying to tell me something).Already planning 1st trip out as misses her yearly excursions (we,however, not so sure)Feel better now we have told them.

Last edited by Reading fan; May 5th 2008 at 10:52 pm. Reason: Put quote in didn't need
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