We don't like it in Sydney.
#61
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 715
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
You are an individual with your own mind, only you know what you want and I for one wish you well as none of this moving countries lark is fun
#62
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by merlotsmum
You are an individual with your own mind, only you know what you want and I for one wish you well as none of this moving countries lark is fun
#63
Auspom
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Kent
Posts: 52
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by james the cat
We have just decided that we are going to go back to the UK. We came out here 2 months ago after spending 2 years getting our permanent residency visa. We both quit good jobs and sold our house to come here, so aren't taking this decision lightly. We have found that despite feeling very positive about coming here, since arriving we have felt very unsettled and just felt generally depressed and like we've made a big mistake. Whilst the scenery and wildlife is amazing (we even hand fed parrakeets on our balcony this afternoon), we just don't feel right here and we are trying to put a round peg in a square hole. We have found a nice flat with views over the harbour, have a nice car, and I have a job to go to next week (which doesn't excite me at all, but it is all I can get).
There is no main reason for us wanting to go - lots of smaller reasons, we miss family and friends and don't know anybody here, we've cancelled flying the dog out, - so miss him too, we've found a lot anti-english sentiment (I was told that I didn't get a job due to my not fitting in culturally), my partner was sat in the back of a class and witnessed a mature student talking with the tutor about how the English 'come over here', and other students were making comments about 'send them all home', without realising there was an english student in the class (there are lots of other examples too - but it doesn't make you feel very welcome.)
We know logically, we should probably give it more of a try and maybe wait until we start work, but we have been constantly down since we've been here, and feel that we have realised that England is a better country for us.
Has anyone else had similar feelings and gone back or felt like going back this soon?
There is no main reason for us wanting to go - lots of smaller reasons, we miss family and friends and don't know anybody here, we've cancelled flying the dog out, - so miss him too, we've found a lot anti-english sentiment (I was told that I didn't get a job due to my not fitting in culturally), my partner was sat in the back of a class and witnessed a mature student talking with the tutor about how the English 'come over here', and other students were making comments about 'send them all home', without realising there was an english student in the class (there are lots of other examples too - but it doesn't make you feel very welcome.)
We know logically, we should probably give it more of a try and maybe wait until we start work, but we have been constantly down since we've been here, and feel that we have realised that England is a better country for us.
Has anyone else had similar feelings and gone back or felt like going back this soon?
I can understand how u feel,but as many people have suggested try other cities. U r not the only person in this situation.My wife is English and i'm aussie living in England,I have found it very hard to fit in here the only people i new where my wife friends but there still strangers to me.When people say "we dont want English here sent them home" it's the same for the Aussies in england (it's What u call Banter),and now we have to put up with u guys winning the ashes aswel.When it comes to jobs alot of English employees want hirer aussie on a work visa or in my case spouse visa because they think we only want few weeks work and then move on.
So please think bout your decision and think of the reason why you left england in the first place.Here are two reasons why you should stay,The sun say out longer than 4pm thru winter and the changes of snow in any major cities or towns is Very low as i look outside in the dark with white stuff on the ground.
#64
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 209
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
[ try flying back to sheffield uk for a winter break,you may find oz more appealing
#65
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by pom plumber
[ try flying back to sheffield uk for a winter break,you may find oz more appealing
My family come from and live in Sydney and I can honestly say i wouldn't live there! Its not for everyone. If you feel the need to come home and would be happier then do so! Its your life your family and if your gut feeling tells you the UK's for you then so be it! Good luck hun X
#66
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by Bella Donna
One thing you might be unaware of. If you do decide to bring him out to Oz, and then decide to go back to England, not only would he have to do 30 days quarantine in Oz, but I believe I'm right in saying he'd have six months' quarantine to face in the UK when he returned. Unless he has a pet passport, but I think that is only relevant in the EC?
Difficult decision and I feel for you. Once we'd got our pooch out here we more or less accepted that we'd be here for at least 10 years as we won't put him through that. Considering how long a dog lives, six months is a hellishly long time.
Good luck.
Sue
Difficult decision and I feel for you. Once we'd got our pooch out here we more or less accepted that we'd be here for at least 10 years as we won't put him through that. Considering how long a dog lives, six months is a hellishly long time.
Good luck.
Sue
#67
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by james the cat
I'm sure you are right, but I think the fact that we didn't even get the honeymoon period is what is worrying us. I think money and jobs is causing us concern too. We are really surprised by our own reaction to the move as we are normally quite positive people. I think we have been surprised about how much we have missed people, so are obviously not as superficial as we thought. We are going to see if we can find the answers in a bottle of red wine. Cheers
Hi their ,go on and give it another try somewhere else.
You have worked so hard to get there.
We have been looking on the internet and doing alot of research on Bunbury just outside Perth.
There seems to be alot of Brits down that way.
We are planning on bringing our dogs.
Byford kennels is about 1hr 30mins away so you would be able to go and see your dog every day.The place sounds great for the dogs.
I am feeling quite down for you at the moment.
Go to the Sydney get together.I am sure they will all make you feel better.
Come on to the forum everyday there are plenty of people who will lift your spirit and try and egg you on about trying to stay a little longer.
Please keep us all informed.
#68
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by james the cat
I know the general conensus is to give it more time, but if I still feel this down for another 6 months, I may end up being institutionalised, or throwing myself off of our balcony with the parrots and the beautiful view.
We have been to Brisbane and also went to Adelaide, we really liked both, but plumped for Sydney as my partner got on a Deck-hand course. I don't know if moving to another city will help as we are in Neutral Bay, which is really nice, 10 minutes from the city, and there can't be many places where you can swim in a pool on the harbour whilst looking at the opera house (for free). But we just don't feel happy here.
We have decided that we wont make any decisions until after the weekend, thank you for your advise and support, i feel a bit better having just got it off my chest.
We have been to Brisbane and also went to Adelaide, we really liked both, but plumped for Sydney as my partner got on a Deck-hand course. I don't know if moving to another city will help as we are in Neutral Bay, which is really nice, 10 minutes from the city, and there can't be many places where you can swim in a pool on the harbour whilst looking at the opera house (for free). But we just don't feel happy here.
We have decided that we wont make any decisions until after the weekend, thank you for your advise and support, i feel a bit better having just got it off my chest.
Hi, life is too short to dwell on what should have or would have been. You come this way but only once (said Billy Connelly)so make sure you enjoy every minute. I have travelled around Australia extensivley and I can tell you it's a really diverse country and I reckon a better place to be than the UK. There are many many more options and types of people. To be honest Sydney is the last place I would go an live but that's personal choice and nothing more.
In a nut shell, if you don't like it leave but before going back to the UK look at the reasons for leaving in the first place and please, do consider other areas, the mid north coast of NSW for example is not far (in Oz terms) from you and the culture, people and attitutes are very different.
The very best of luck with whatever you decide.
Rob
#69
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,844
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by zbettyboop
Hi their ,go on and give it another try somewhere else.
You have worked so hard to get there.
We have been looking on the internet and doing alot of research on Bunbury just outside Perth.
There seems to be alot of Brits down that way.
We are planning on bringing our dogs.
Byford kennels is about 1hr 30mins away so you would be able to go and see your dog every day.The place sounds great for the dogs.
I am feeling quite down for you at the moment.
Go to the Sydney get together.I am sure they will all make you feel better.
Come on to the forum everyday there are plenty of people who will lift your spirit and try and egg you on about trying to stay a little longer.
Please keep us all informed.
You have worked so hard to get there.
We have been looking on the internet and doing alot of research on Bunbury just outside Perth.
There seems to be alot of Brits down that way.
We are planning on bringing our dogs.
Byford kennels is about 1hr 30mins away so you would be able to go and see your dog every day.The place sounds great for the dogs.
I am feeling quite down for you at the moment.
Go to the Sydney get together.I am sure they will all make you feel better.
Come on to the forum everyday there are plenty of people who will lift your spirit and try and egg you on about trying to stay a little longer.
Please keep us all informed.
Bunbury is just beautiful, and is knows as the unknown jewel.
#70
Living the dream downunde
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: MeadowBank, Sydney, Aussie Land of Sea,Sun and Seashells
Posts: 355
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Its pretty hard to move here so well done on the first hurdle.
I would take a flight back to the U.K. for a few weeks and make the decision then, its pretty easy to dig yourself into a pit and there is no easy way out.
You need to ask yourself why you wanted to move to Australia and focus more on that.
My advice would be to fly back to the U.K. and dont cut your losses yet otherwise maybe in 6-12 months you will be wishing you stayed here.
Good luck.
I would take a flight back to the U.K. for a few weeks and make the decision then, its pretty easy to dig yourself into a pit and there is no easy way out.
You need to ask yourself why you wanted to move to Australia and focus more on that.
My advice would be to fly back to the U.K. and dont cut your losses yet otherwise maybe in 6-12 months you will be wishing you stayed here.
Good luck.
#71
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Aberdeen, UK
Posts: 172
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Just wanted to say we know exactly how you are feeling having been here for almost 2 months ourselves (myself and husband).
Australia was our dream for years before we actually got the visa, but I think the reality of it actually happening didn't hit us until we were leaving the UK. The goodbyes were truly awful and I still get choaked thinking about it. Since we've been here we realise what a good life we had in the UK....good jobs, great social life, family/friends........that's a lot to recreate. I think if we'd had half a chance to go back in the first week we would have done !
Don't get me wrong, the place is lovely, but the homesickness is really really difficult. We find ourselves saying all the time 'when we get back home we'll......', and I think Christmas is making it 100 times worse, it's just not Christmas in the sun, and it's being snowing in Aberdeen !
But...we worked so hard to get here we're at least going to give it a year to see if our feelings change (even though deep down I could easily go back tomorrow). Can't think of anything worse than going back now and regretting it in future.
So all I can say is stick in there.....we're in the same boat but I keep thinking a year out of your life is nothing really. Whatever happens at least you've tried so NO-ONE can judge you for that.
Best Wishes
Judy
Australia was our dream for years before we actually got the visa, but I think the reality of it actually happening didn't hit us until we were leaving the UK. The goodbyes were truly awful and I still get choaked thinking about it. Since we've been here we realise what a good life we had in the UK....good jobs, great social life, family/friends........that's a lot to recreate. I think if we'd had half a chance to go back in the first week we would have done !
Don't get me wrong, the place is lovely, but the homesickness is really really difficult. We find ourselves saying all the time 'when we get back home we'll......', and I think Christmas is making it 100 times worse, it's just not Christmas in the sun, and it's being snowing in Aberdeen !
But...we worked so hard to get here we're at least going to give it a year to see if our feelings change (even though deep down I could easily go back tomorrow). Can't think of anything worse than going back now and regretting it in future.
So all I can say is stick in there.....we're in the same boat but I keep thinking a year out of your life is nothing really. Whatever happens at least you've tried so NO-ONE can judge you for that.
Best Wishes
Judy
#72
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,844
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by Judes2308
Just wanted to say we know exactly how you are feeling having been here for almost 2 months ourselves (myself and husband).
Australia was our dream for years before we actually got the visa, but I think the reality of it actually happening didn't hit us until we were leaving the UK. The goodbyes were truly awful and I still get choaked thinking about it. Since we've been here we realise what a good life we had in the UK....good jobs, great social life, family/friends........that's a lot to recreate. I think if we'd had half a chance to go back in the first week we would have done !
Don't get me wrong, the place is lovely, but the homesickness is really really difficult. We find ourselves saying all the time 'when we get back home we'll......', and I think Christmas is making it 100 times worse, it's just not Christmas in the sun, and it's being snowing in Aberdeen !
But...we worked so hard to get here we're at least going to give it a year to see if our feelings change (even though deep down I could easily go back tomorrow). Can't think of anything worse than going back now and regretting it in future.
So all I can say is stick in there.....we're in the same boat but I keep thinking a year out of your life is nothing really. Whatever happens at least you've tried so NO-ONE can judge you for that.
Best Wishes
Judy
Australia was our dream for years before we actually got the visa, but I think the reality of it actually happening didn't hit us until we were leaving the UK. The goodbyes were truly awful and I still get choaked thinking about it. Since we've been here we realise what a good life we had in the UK....good jobs, great social life, family/friends........that's a lot to recreate. I think if we'd had half a chance to go back in the first week we would have done !
Don't get me wrong, the place is lovely, but the homesickness is really really difficult. We find ourselves saying all the time 'when we get back home we'll......', and I think Christmas is making it 100 times worse, it's just not Christmas in the sun, and it's being snowing in Aberdeen !
But...we worked so hard to get here we're at least going to give it a year to see if our feelings change (even though deep down I could easily go back tomorrow). Can't think of anything worse than going back now and regretting it in future.
So all I can say is stick in there.....we're in the same boat but I keep thinking a year out of your life is nothing really. Whatever happens at least you've tried so NO-ONE can judge you for that.
Best Wishes
Judy
#73
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by Judes2308
Just wanted to say we know exactly how you are feeling having been here for almost 2 months ourselves (myself and husband).
Australia was our dream for years before we actually got the visa, but I think the reality of it actually happening didn't hit us until we were leaving the UK. The goodbyes were truly awful and I still get choaked thinking about it. Since we've been here we realise what a good life we had in the UK....good jobs, great social life, family/friends........that's a lot to recreate. I think if we'd had half a chance to go back in the first week we would have done !
Don't get me wrong, the place is lovely, but the homesickness is really really difficult. We find ourselves saying all the time 'when we get back home we'll......', and I think Christmas is making it 100 times worse, it's just not Christmas in the sun, and it's being snowing in Aberdeen !
But...we worked so hard to get here we're at least going to give it a year to see if our feelings change (even though deep down I could easily go back tomorrow). Can't think of anything worse than going back now and regretting it in future.
So all I can say is stick in there.....we're in the same boat but I keep thinking a year out of your life is nothing really. Whatever happens at least you've tried so NO-ONE can judge you for that.
Best Wishes
Judy
Australia was our dream for years before we actually got the visa, but I think the reality of it actually happening didn't hit us until we were leaving the UK. The goodbyes were truly awful and I still get choaked thinking about it. Since we've been here we realise what a good life we had in the UK....good jobs, great social life, family/friends........that's a lot to recreate. I think if we'd had half a chance to go back in the first week we would have done !
Don't get me wrong, the place is lovely, but the homesickness is really really difficult. We find ourselves saying all the time 'when we get back home we'll......', and I think Christmas is making it 100 times worse, it's just not Christmas in the sun, and it's being snowing in Aberdeen !
But...we worked so hard to get here we're at least going to give it a year to see if our feelings change (even though deep down I could easily go back tomorrow). Can't think of anything worse than going back now and regretting it in future.
So all I can say is stick in there.....we're in the same boat but I keep thinking a year out of your life is nothing really. Whatever happens at least you've tried so NO-ONE can judge you for that.
Best Wishes
Judy
We hope you settle in soon too, as it would be a shame to waste all that hard work, emotion and money by going back - keep us posted.
#74
Australia's Doorman
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: The Shoalhaven, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 11,056
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time of things guys. As so many people have already said, your feelings are perfectly normal. At its most basic you're experiencing 'fight or flight' - you're outside your comfort zone - nobody likes being there. I found this link (can't remember who originaly posted it) - http://www.doctortravel.ca/culture_shock.asp - extremely useful. If nothing else it illustrates how normal it is to feel the way you do, despite the fact that you appear to have skipped a stage.
#75
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by janeyray
It's like going into a lions den though posting that kind of thing on this part of the website....bound to get shot down by all the people waiting to go and wanting to love the place before even getting there.