We don't like it in Sydney.
Nov 25th 2005, 7:45 am
#16
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by A dogs life
I'm quite suprised you could feel that badly about a place after such a short time. I would have thought the first two months would have been a mad adrenalin rush for you after spending 2 years waiting for this moment. I think in general terms most people find the first 3 to 6 months is the honeymoon period where everything feels unreal, everything is new and exciting.... then reality hits and its back to the same routine except you are in a different country.
Is it homesickness and missing your dog that is depressing you? I can't believe its the silly little comments about the english that bug you. I get people putting on stupid leprechaun accents on the phone when I'm talking to them (I have an Irish accent), but I take it as a joke.
As practically everyone has said, you really need to give it some more time before you could truely say you gave it a fair go, and it didn't work out. At least try somewhere else, if you want to get something away from the pressure and hassle of Sydney try Perth or Brisbane or Adelaide.
All the best whatever you decide,
ADL
Is it homesickness and missing your dog that is depressing you? I can't believe its the silly little comments about the english that bug you. I get people putting on stupid leprechaun accents on the phone when I'm talking to them (I have an Irish accent), but I take it as a joke.
As practically everyone has said, you really need to give it some more time before you could truely say you gave it a fair go, and it didn't work out. At least try somewhere else, if you want to get something away from the pressure and hassle of Sydney try Perth or Brisbane or Adelaide.
All the best whatever you decide,
ADL
Nov 25th 2005, 7:47 am
#17
Member of Mumo-land
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: DownUnder
Posts: 771
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by james the cat
I know the general conensus is to give it more time, but if I still feel this down for another 6 months, I may end up being institutionalised, or throwing myself off of our balcony with the parrots and the beautiful view.
We have been to Brisbane and also went to Adelaide, we really liked both, but plumped for Sydney as my partner got on a Deck-hand course. I don't know if moving to another city will help as we are in Neutral Bay, which is really nice, 10 minutes from the city, and there can't be many places where you can swim in a pool on the harbour whilst looking at the opera house (for free). But we just don't feel happy here.
We have decided that we wont make any decisions until after the weekend, thank you for your advise and support, i feel a bit better having just got it off my chest.
We have been to Brisbane and also went to Adelaide, we really liked both, but plumped for Sydney as my partner got on a Deck-hand course. I don't know if moving to another city will help as we are in Neutral Bay, which is really nice, 10 minutes from the city, and there can't be many places where you can swim in a pool on the harbour whilst looking at the opera house (for free). But we just don't feel happy here.
We have decided that we wont make any decisions until after the weekend, thank you for your advise and support, i feel a bit better having just got it off my chest.
What does it mean to you? What did this move mean to you? What motivated you? I hope you find answers and I completely and utterly understand your responsibility to your animals as I have been through similar and when you are responsible for your animals you think 'do the right thing by them'. If you flew your dog out, you would think you are trapped in Oz as the dog would be there too and to fly the dog again is not to be treated lightly is it? I've been there. Panic attack or what?
I really hope you find the right path. All the best. Mumo.
Nov 25th 2005, 7:48 am
#18
Banned
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 728
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
This is quite ironic.
I have just moved to Sydney and i love it!!
I do however, totally understand the feelings you are going through. This is my 3rd big move in 5yrs.
When i first left the UK i felt just like you did. Now, from a wealth of experience and a lot of heartache, i can look back and say that the real problem is the enormous culture shock that sets in when you remove yourself from everything you have ever known. I can now look back on it all with a wry smile, but at the time i was depressed, lonely, and totally miserable. I also experienced the 'anti pom" mentality from a small section of people. The problem is, when you are feeling down about everything else these minor irritants seem a lot bigger than they are. You are not feeling strong and confident, therefore you feel very vulnerable. I dont think i get these comments or reactions nowadays, or if i do i dont even notice!! But thats because i am happier within myself and dont allow myself to be bullied or intimidated by anyone. Often these idiotic people will sense someone is vulnerable and pounce on the opportunity to offend. (dont ask me why... bloody saddos)
Strangely, since being here, i have found the total opposite to you. I have met and found quite a few friendly people and have found this idea of Sydney not being friendly as totally untrue. But thats only from my own experience so far.
What you need to do is weigh everything up very very carefully. Do you want to return because you miss the UK so much or is it because you feel very much out of your depth at the moment? If it is the latter, i would seriously consider waiting a few months before you cut and run. Its amazing how life and things change once you have a sense of familiarity in your new surroundings.
Whatever you choose i wish you well.
I have just moved to Sydney and i love it!!
I do however, totally understand the feelings you are going through. This is my 3rd big move in 5yrs.
When i first left the UK i felt just like you did. Now, from a wealth of experience and a lot of heartache, i can look back and say that the real problem is the enormous culture shock that sets in when you remove yourself from everything you have ever known. I can now look back on it all with a wry smile, but at the time i was depressed, lonely, and totally miserable. I also experienced the 'anti pom" mentality from a small section of people. The problem is, when you are feeling down about everything else these minor irritants seem a lot bigger than they are. You are not feeling strong and confident, therefore you feel very vulnerable. I dont think i get these comments or reactions nowadays, or if i do i dont even notice!! But thats because i am happier within myself and dont allow myself to be bullied or intimidated by anyone. Often these idiotic people will sense someone is vulnerable and pounce on the opportunity to offend. (dont ask me why... bloody saddos)
Strangely, since being here, i have found the total opposite to you. I have met and found quite a few friendly people and have found this idea of Sydney not being friendly as totally untrue. But thats only from my own experience so far.
What you need to do is weigh everything up very very carefully. Do you want to return because you miss the UK so much or is it because you feel very much out of your depth at the moment? If it is the latter, i would seriously consider waiting a few months before you cut and run. Its amazing how life and things change once you have a sense of familiarity in your new surroundings.
Whatever you choose i wish you well.
Nov 25th 2005, 7:48 am
#19
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 2,873
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
I wonder if you may feel a bit happier if you actually had your dog with you. I know that I will be lost without mine before they come out of quarantine. One of the answers we give to people when they ask we are taking the dogs is that they will help us to settle as they will get us out and about, getting us meeting people as it will be a shared interest, and also just that they are part of the family and having them around will feel right.
I really think that after all the effort and not to mention the financial costs of going through a visa application and moving, you should give it more time. I have heard many times of people going home after a short period and then a year down the line regretting it and are now going through the moving process all over again. More cost!!
I really think that after all the effort and not to mention the financial costs of going through a visa application and moving, you should give it more time. I have heard many times of people going home after a short period and then a year down the line regretting it and are now going through the moving process all over again. More cost!!
Nov 25th 2005, 8:10 am
#20
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,844
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by Lerop Pekill
Give it more time, i felt really homesick for a while but before you decide,
1) Revisit the reasons you moved in the first place.
2) The UK will always be there
3) See if your friends & family keep in touch, if so they are maybe worth going back for, if not.......
4) 2 years of grief & stress deserve more than two months in return
5) Sydney is not for everyone, if you have the money do a mini tour of the other citys and see if any of them feel right.
Good Luck in what ever you decide.
1) Revisit the reasons you moved in the first place.
2) The UK will always be there
3) See if your friends & family keep in touch, if so they are maybe worth going back for, if not.......
4) 2 years of grief & stress deserve more than two months in return
5) Sydney is not for everyone, if you have the money do a mini tour of the other citys and see if any of them feel right.
Good Luck in what ever you decide.
And yes think back to how you felt before you came over, 2 months is not very long, i did not know whether i was coming or going the first few months.
Please why dont you try somewhere else before you make your final decision,
My mum and dad where the 20 pound poms, they took us back and always regretted it, so they are so happy for us and love their hols here.
We have not had anything nasty said to us and the kids friends at school are lovely. We have felt very welcome here. come to Bunbury South west WA
Nov 25th 2005, 8:11 am
#21
no longer searching
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,030
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
One issue you mention is lack of friends - with one exception the the friends we have where we live (in UK) are all through work or diving and in the last year other mums (and their babies). You are about to start a job, and that is an opportunity for some sort of normality to return to your lives and a chance to make friends. Have you joined any clubs or been to one of the expats meet ups in Sydney?
This may not address all you feelings, but it is a start. All the best
This may not address all you feelings, but it is a start. All the best
Nov 25th 2005, 8:16 am
#22
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,630
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by mumomonty
Have to agree with Lerop Pekill (anagram for what?...)
I think it's an anagram for People Killer
To the OP, I notice you say one of the reasons you are unhappy is that you don't know anyone where you are. What about finding a meet up for expats on this forum to start with. There must be a forum for expats in NSW as well.
I do feel for you - being in a place you don't feel right in is awful. but I do agree with most others - 2 months isn't long after all the hassle of getting a visa and another part of Oz might suit you better.
Re: your dogs, could your parents put them in kennels just for a break - not permanently. It's a cheaper option than you coming back to the UK or flying the dogs to Oz and back again.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do
Suzy x
Nov 25th 2005, 8:37 am
#23
Banned
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 316
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by james the cat
We have just decided that we are going to go back to the UK. We came out here 2 months ago after spending 2 years getting our permanent residency visa. We both quit good jobs and sold our house to come here, so aren't taking this decision lightly. We have found that despite feeling very positive about coming here, since arriving we have felt very unsettled and just felt generally depressed and like we've made a big mistake. Whilst the scenery and wildlife is amazing (we even hand fed parrakeets on our balcony this afternoon), we just don't feel right here and we are trying to put a round peg in a square hole. We have found a nice flat with views over the harbour, have a nice car, and I have a job to go to next week (which doesn't excite me at all, but it is all I can get). There is no main reason for us wanting to go - lots of smaller reasons, we miss family and friends and don't know anybody here, we've cancelled flying the dog out, - so miss him too, we've found a lot anti-english sentiment (I was told that I didn't get a job due to my not fitting in culturally), my partner was sat in the back of a class and witnessed a mature student talking with the tutor about how the English 'come over here', and other students were making comments about 'send them all home', without realising there was an english student in the class (there are lots of other examples too - but it doesn't make you feel very welcome.)
We know logically, we should probably give it more of a try and maybe wait until we start work, but we have been constantly down since we've been here, and feel that we have realised that England is a better country for us.
Has anyone else had similar feelings and gone back or felt like going back this soon?
As for Anti-English sentiment-you are getting the wrong impression-Aussies don't really like any migrants,British Isles people they probably dislike the least.
Much like the UK-in London there is some anti-Australian sentiment-but I would rather be Aussie here than a Pakistani!
Last edited by Breezey; Nov 25th 2005 at 8:58 am.
Nov 25th 2005, 8:40 am
#24
NO 8 THE LEGEND
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Dyslexia Rules KO
Posts: 1,368
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by suzy
I think it's an anagram for People Killer
To the OP, I notice you say one of the reasons you are unhappy is that you don't know anyone where you are. What about finding a meet up for expats on this forum to start with. There must be a forum for expats in NSW as well.
I do feel for you - being in a place you don't feel right in is awful. but I do agree with most others - 2 months isn't long after all the hassle of getting a visa and another part of Oz might suit you better.
Re: your dogs, could your parents put them in kennels just for a break - not permanently. It's a cheaper option than you coming back to the UK or flying the dogs to Oz and back again.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do
Suzy x
To the OP, I notice you say one of the reasons you are unhappy is that you don't know anyone where you are. What about finding a meet up for expats on this forum to start with. There must be a forum for expats in NSW as well.
I do feel for you - being in a place you don't feel right in is awful. but I do agree with most others - 2 months isn't long after all the hassle of getting a visa and another part of Oz might suit you better.
Re: your dogs, could your parents put them in kennels just for a break - not permanently. It's a cheaper option than you coming back to the UK or flying the dogs to Oz and back again.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do
Suzy x
Nov 25th 2005, 9:26 am
#25
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Limerick-Shropshire- Perth.
Posts: 3,215
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by A dogs life
I'm quite suprised you could feel that badly about a place after such a short time. I would have thought the first two months would have been a mad adrenalin rush for you after spending 2 years waiting for this moment. I think in general terms most people find the first 3 to 6 months is the honeymoon period where everything feels unreal, everything is new and exciting.... then reality hits and its back to the same routine except you are in a different country.
Is it homesickness and missing your dog that is depressing you? I can't believe its the silly little comments about the english that bug you. I get people putting on stupid leprechaun accents on the phone when I'm talking to them (I have an Irish accent), but I take it as a joke.
As practically everyone has said, you really need to give it some more time before you could truely say you gave it a fair go, and it didn't work out. At least try somewhere else, if you want to get something away from the pressure and hassle of Sydney try Perth or Brisbane or Adelaide.
All the best whatever you decide,
ADL
Is it homesickness and missing your dog that is depressing you? I can't believe its the silly little comments about the english that bug you. I get people putting on stupid leprechaun accents on the phone when I'm talking to them (I have an Irish accent), but I take it as a joke.
As practically everyone has said, you really need to give it some more time before you could truely say you gave it a fair go, and it didn't work out. At least try somewhere else, if you want to get something away from the pressure and hassle of Sydney try Perth or Brisbane or Adelaide.
All the best whatever you decide,
ADL
Nov 25th 2005, 9:50 am
#26
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,235
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
About 14 months ago I bought my English Hubby out here to live. Before moving here he had only spent about 2 weeks here on holiday.
The first 6 months were sheer hell for him....at one stage, I wondered if our marriage would last to be honest. Then around the 6 month mark, his attitude start to change. I think as things became a little more familiar and as we started to build a social life he gradually got happier and happier...
Now over a year on, he calls this place home....I never actually thought I would see the day.
2 months is no where near long enough for you to judge if you would be happy here.
But I doubt that what anyone says on here will make a difference. I hope you find your happiness back in the UK and dont regret for a second that you didnt give life here much of a chance.
Hels
The first 6 months were sheer hell for him....at one stage, I wondered if our marriage would last to be honest. Then around the 6 month mark, his attitude start to change. I think as things became a little more familiar and as we started to build a social life he gradually got happier and happier...
Now over a year on, he calls this place home....I never actually thought I would see the day.
2 months is no where near long enough for you to judge if you would be happy here.
But I doubt that what anyone says on here will make a difference. I hope you find your happiness back in the UK and dont regret for a second that you didnt give life here much of a chance.
Hels
Nov 25th 2005, 9:50 am
#27
Banned
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 728
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by Lerop Pekill
it's not an anagram for people killer.
Nov 25th 2005, 9:55 am
#28
The Godfather
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: South East Suburbs of Melbourne
Posts: 7,336
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by Linda Lushardi
Ahhh, but it is!! You may not have intended it to be but it is an anagram of people killer
Nov 25th 2005, 10:03 am
#29
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
theres a sydney meet next month, why not hang out till then and see if u can meet a few people who might make life a bit easier for u 
Oh and i meant to add.....well done everyone for the great advice u have passed on to this poster. its great to see no nutters have had a dig..........its the last thing they need.
big pat on the back to u all.ah stuff it, lets have a group hug
Oh and i meant to add.....well done everyone for the great advice u have passed on to this poster. its great to see no nutters have had a dig..........its the last thing they need.
big pat on the back to u all.ah stuff it, lets have a group hug
Last edited by soapy©; Nov 25th 2005 at 10:05 am.
Nov 25th 2005, 10:03 am
#30
Banned
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 728
Re: We don't like it in Sydney.
Originally Posted by Bordy
People Killer has 3 E's though
No no.. Lerope just cant spell his name right