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We don't like it in Sydney.

We don't like it in Sydney.

Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:37 am
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Default We don't like it in Sydney.

We have just decided that we are going to go back to the UK. We came out here 2 months ago after spending 2 years getting our permanent residency visa. We both quit good jobs and sold our house to come here, so aren't taking this decision lightly. We have found that despite feeling very positive about coming here, since arriving we have felt very unsettled and just felt generally depressed and like we've made a big mistake. Whilst the scenery and wildlife is amazing (we even hand fed parrakeets on our balcony this afternoon), we just don't feel right here and we are trying to put a round peg in a square hole. We have found a nice flat with views over the harbour, have a nice car, and I have a job to go to next week (which doesn't excite me at all, but it is all I can get).
There is no main reason for us wanting to go - lots of smaller reasons, we miss family and friends and don't know anybody here, we've cancelled flying the dog out, - so miss him too, we've found a lot anti-english sentiment (I was told that I didn't get a job due to my not fitting in culturally), my partner was sat in the back of a class and witnessed a mature student talking with the tutor about how the English 'come over here', and other students were making comments about 'send them all home', without realising there was an english student in the class (there are lots of other examples too - but it doesn't make you feel very welcome.)
We know logically, we should probably give it more of a try and maybe wait until we start work, but we have been constantly down since we've been here, and feel that we have realised that England is a better country for us.
Has anyone else had similar feelings and gone back or felt like going back this soon?
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:44 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Originally Posted by james the cat
We have just decided that we are going to go back to the UK. We came out here 2 months ago after spending 2 years getting our permanent residency visa. We both quit good jobs and sold our house to come here, so aren't taking this decision lightly. We have found that despite feeling very positive about coming here, since arriving we have felt very unsettled and just felt generally depressed and like we've made a big mistake. Whilst the scenery and wildlife is amazing (we even hand fed parrakeets on our balcony this afternoon), we just don't feel right here and we are trying to put a round peg in a square hole. We have found a nice flat with views over the harbour, have a nice car, and I have a job to go to next week (which doesn't excite me at all, but it is all I can get).
There is no main reason for us wanting to go - lots of smaller reasons, we miss family and friends and don't know anybody here, we've cancelled flying the dog out, - so miss him too, we've found a lot anti-english sentiment (I was told that I didn't get a job due to my not fitting in culturally), my partner was sat in the back of a class and witnessed a mature student talking with the tutor about how the English 'come over here', and other students were making comments about 'send them all home', without realising there was an english student in the class (there are lots of other examples too - but it doesn't make you feel very welcome.)
We know logically, we should probably give it more of a try and maybe wait until we start work, but we have been constantly down since we've been here, and feel that we have realised that England is a better country for us.
Has anyone else had similar feelings and gone back or felt like going back this soon?
Have you considered trying a different part of Australia?
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:45 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Sorry you feel the need to go back so soon.
At least you have given it a shot, I can't help thinking your giving up very easily though.

Good luck though in whatever you do.
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:47 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Originally Posted by Jonahs_mummy
Have you considered trying a different part of Australia?
Was just about to suggest the same thing! Have you visited other cities? I visited Sydney many years ago and would not want to live there. We have been in Melbourne for 11 months now and we love it! It takes way longer than 2 months to settle, please don't go back too soon after all your hard work to get over here. Not everybody gets the chance. Take it one month at a time, ideally give yourself 9-12 months then review. I've seen afew posters who have gone home, then regret it and want to move to Oz again.
Good luck in whatever you decide!
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:50 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Originally Posted by james the cat
We have just decided that we are going to go back to the UK. We came out here 2 months ago after spending 2 years getting our permanent residency visa. We both quit good jobs and sold our house to come here, so aren't taking this decision lightly. We have found that despite feeling very positive about coming here, since arriving we have felt very unsettled and just felt generally depressed and like we've made a big mistake. Whilst the scenery and wildlife is amazing (we even hand fed parrakeets on our balcony this afternoon), we just don't feel right here and we are trying to put a round peg in a square hole. We have found a nice flat with views over the harbour, have a nice car, and I have a job to go to next week (which doesn't excite me at all, but it is all I can get).
There is no main reason for us wanting to go - lots of smaller reasons, we miss family and friends and don't know anybody here, we've cancelled flying the dog out, - so miss him too, we've found a lot anti-english sentiment (I was told that I didn't get a job due to my not fitting in culturally), my partner was sat in the back of a class and witnessed a mature student talking with the tutor about how the English 'come over here', and other students were making comments about 'send them all home', without realising there was an english student in the class (there are lots of other examples too - but it doesn't make you feel very welcome.)
We know logically, we should probably give it more of a try and maybe wait until we start work, but we have been constantly down since we've been here, and feel that we have realised that England is a better country for us.
Has anyone else had similar feelings and gone back or felt like going back this soon?
Well I know exactly how you feel, It took us nearly 3 years to get the visa and flew our 2 dogs out here, and yes we feel very displaced out here. Because of our situation we are making an extra big effort to make a go of it, at least for the short term. I'm in the middle of creating a new company to try and bring some buzz back into my life but am realistic enough to know it’s not going to work out where we are at the moment. We intend to move to Melbourne or Brisbane first and try them out first just in case. Its very difficult now to remember just why we were so keyed up for the 3 years prior waiting desperately to get here.

We just had some friends come over to visit us from the UK, both run their own companies and had similar types of UK lives as we led, and I can honestly say its the first proper intelligent conversations we've had this whole first year here, and it didn't involve any kind of bat or ball!! Just served to put another nail in our Australian Coffin.

Keep your peckers up and do what feels right to you, although I hate it here I will suggest you give it a while longer and try anywhere other than Sydney, which we found to be a bit of a cesspit. On the other hand I can't imagine being separated from my dogs so I know what you must be feeling in that regard.
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:50 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Originally Posted by james the cat
We have just decided that we are going to go back to the UK. We came out here 2 months ago after spending 2 years getting our permanent residency visa. We both quit good jobs and sold our house to come here, so aren't taking this decision lightly. We have found that despite feeling very positive about coming here, since arriving we have felt very unsettled and just felt generally depressed and like we've made a big mistake. Whilst the scenery and wildlife is amazing (we even hand fed parrakeets on our balcony this afternoon), we just don't feel right here and we are trying to put a round peg in a square hole. We have found a nice flat with views over the harbour, have a nice car, and I have a job to go to next week (which doesn't excite me at all, but it is all I can get).
There is no main reason for us wanting to go - lots of smaller reasons, we miss family and friends and don't know anybody here, we've cancelled flying the dog out, - so miss him too, we've found a lot anti-english sentiment (I was told that I didn't get a job due to my not fitting in culturally), my partner was sat in the back of a class and witnessed a mature student talking with the tutor about how the English 'come over here', and other students were making comments about 'send them all home', without realising there was an english student in the class (there are lots of other examples too - but it doesn't make you feel very welcome.)
We know logically, we should probably give it more of a try and maybe wait until we start work, but we have been constantly down since we've been here, and feel that we have realised that England is a better country for us.
Has anyone else had similar feelings and gone back or felt like going back this soon?
Give it more time, i felt really homesick for a while but before you decide,

1) Revisit the reasons you moved in the first place.
2) The UK will always be there
3) See if your friends & family keep in touch, if so they are maybe worth going back for, if not.......
4) 2 years of grief & stress deserve more than two months in return
5) Sydney is not for everyone, if you have the money do a mini tour of the other citys and see if any of them feel right.

Good Luck in what ever you decide.
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:50 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Thanks for your post - it is always interesting to hear how people get on. I hope you end up making the right decision...are you sure you dont want to try anywhere else?

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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:52 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Originally Posted by Jonahs_mummy
Have you considered trying a different part of Australia?
I agree, why don't you consider another part of Australia before you make a final decision?
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:56 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

I understand how you feel, however, two months isn't enough to get settled and give it a fair go. More realistically 12 months +. Please give it a bit longer and as others suggest, look at other parts of Australia. You know it took a lot of hard work to get your visas. If you could just try and get through the culture shock stage and then realise it is still not for you, at least you gave it a good chance.
Good luck.
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 6:56 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

What a shame you have decided to go back so soon, but only you can decide whether it is worth the 'fight' or not. I know many people do act on early instincts and prove to make the right decision going back. There are many more who wish they'd given it a better shot. Gpood luck in your decision. I know going back is a hrader decision than leaving in the first place. Try chatting to people on the 'Moving Back to UK' forum to share some thoughts.

On the flip side, I have just been reading a post from Robertd called "two and a half years in Australia". I remember them 2 years ago and how unhappy they were. It's great to read that they are now settled and have no desire to go back to UK.

There is no magic formula to instantly feeling happy but I think that it's only natural to feel unsettled, and perhaps you are unnerved about how unfamiliar everything feels? It does take time and I'm inclined to also think 2 months is no time to make an informed decision. Good luck
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 7:04 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

I would give it some more time and as some suggest, try someplace else in oz.
And be reminded of the reasons why you worked so hard to leave england in the first place.
Im not much into sydney myself, I quite dislike anytime I have to go there but its much the same as the hundreds of times I had to go inside the m25 in england.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do, noone but you can decide your own life
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 7:13 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Originally Posted by Lerop Pekill
Give it more time, i felt really homesick for a while but before you decide,

1) Revisit the reasons you moved in the first place.
2) The UK will always be there
3) See if your friends & family keep in touch, if so they are maybe worth going back for, if not.......
4) 2 years of grief & stress deserve more than two months in return
5) Sydney is not for everyone, if you have the money do a mini tour of the other citys and see if any of them feel right.

Good Luck in what ever you decide.
Have to agree with Lerop Pekill (anagram for what?...)

anyway, 2 months is nothing and before you jump up and down, I'm nearly 5 years down the track and wanted to go home on the first night. We gave it 6mths. Do that at least. I know you have th edog and I bet that is clouding the issue as I had horses and a dog to consider but it did work out. After 4 years I still went home and ended up in the end in NZ and now I eralise if I'd stopped and calmed down and realised I left the UK for a reason then I should have stuck it out longer because I probably will go back to Aus in time.

I left because I couldn't handle the place. It wasn't the place's fault (and we were an hour out of Sydney). I adore Sydney as a city - so much to do and see.

Incidentally, it took us 13 years and 4 / 5 attempts to get to Aus. Don't take your efforts lightly.

Try anothe city. Is it because you don't like suburbs? I have found i like to live in the middle of nowhere or right in thehub of cities. Hate suburbs.
Try and get on and ignore the pommy bashing. It happens don't take it personally. Once you get used to the way of life in Aus you won't want to give it up lightly.
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 7:21 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

Thanks for the advice, since you still don't like it do you wish you had gone back a year ago?
One major concern we have is that since we changed our minds about bringing the dog out 3 days before they were due to take him to the airport, we have sort of dumped him on my parents, and can't leave him there for too long (especially since he keeps steeling boxes of chocolates, etc), and we don't want to put him through the quarantine only to send him back.
Hope it improves for you too.
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Old Nov 25th 2005, 7:32 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

I'm quite suprised you could feel that badly about a place after such a short time. I would have thought the first two months would have been a mad adrenalin rush for you after spending 2 years waiting for this moment. I think in general terms most people find the first 3 to 6 months is the honeymoon period where everything feels unreal, everything is new and exciting.... then reality hits and its back to the same routine except you are in a different country.

Is it homesickness and missing your dog that is depressing you? I can't believe its the silly little comments about the english that bug you. I get people putting on stupid leprechaun accents on the phone when I'm talking to them (I have an Irish accent), but I take it as a joke.

As practically everyone has said, you really need to give it some more time before you could truely say you gave it a fair go, and it didn't work out. At least try somewhere else, if you want to get something away from the pressure and hassle of Sydney try Perth or Brisbane or Adelaide.

All the best whatever you decide,

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Old Nov 25th 2005, 7:36 am
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Default Re: We don't like it in Sydney.

I know the general conensus is to give it more time, but if I still feel this down for another 6 months, I may end up being institutionalised, or throwing myself off of our balcony with the parrots and the beautiful view.
We have been to Brisbane and also went to Adelaide, we really liked both, but plumped for Sydney as my partner got on a Deck-hand course. I don't know if moving to another city will help as we are in Neutral Bay, which is really nice, 10 minutes from the city, and there can't be many places where you can swim in a pool on the harbour whilst looking at the opera house (for free). But we just don't feel happy here.
We have decided that we wont make any decisions until after the weekend, thank you for your advise and support, i feel a bit better having just got it off my chest.
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