sals

Hi Sarah
Been following your thread. Just wanted to wish you good luck for December although I'm sure it will work out for you.
I know it was difficult having to put your daughter through that but it was probably for the best, as CAFCASS have seen with their own eyes and cannot dispute the situation. Your daughter will be fine because children are resilient and survive things us adults would never deal with but especially because of you, she knows you will love and protect her and she will know you are doing it for her best interests.
Keep the faith.
My thoughts are with you all x

nigelb

Hello my friends

we spent 3 hours with the barrister yesterday reviewing statements, how to answer the questions etc I felt like I was criminal trying to steal away my own daughter god knows what that will feel like when we do for real on 21st dec. anyway today cafcass home visit part 2 - 2.5 hours of dragging up the past, very painful times having to recall a vary bad relationship etc and now she is to visit us again next tues. I feel like I am talking to so many people but nobody is hearing me. I know this is all going to be worthwhile and I will not let my daughter down. She has been so brave and I am so proud of her.

Anyway thanks for the support guys really appreciate it and to those who are still going through this just keep the faith and believe.

Sarah

Sally Simpson

Thinking of you Sarah! It really must be very hard for all of you, I can't begin to imagine!
Very best wishes!
Sally

Dreamy

Good luck for your next appearance, Sarah - it must be incredibly stressful on top of everything else.

When we submitted our application for a 457, and they saw that the kids father wasn't my OH, they wanted written approval too. I mailed his death certificate (he died in 96)

Not that I'm suggesting anything of course

nigelb

thanks sallycalire and dreamy,

everyday a step closer..

Sarah

Ps. death would be too good for my ex!!!!!!

mr.benn

Hi

I've been following your thread and just want to wish you very best of luck for December. Think New Year, new future and keep positive.

Mary

Sally Simpson

A slow steeping in Lime perhaps????

nigelb

Hello my friends,

well another cafcass marathon over 1.5 hours of questions, what if's etc. They want to interview my daughter again on Monday 10th before formalising this last report. It felt like a critical analysis of our parenting skills. A bit like taking the 'knowledge' for a cabbie!! The question that I ahve been asked at least 12 times now is why hasn't ex had contact for 5 years? Why ask me - why not ask him? ARGHHHHH this is so frustrating. My daughter that I lost residency of 11years ago still lives with him and he hasn't allowed me contact now since 2005 I still write to her every 2 weeks I never get a response, but I keep copies to show her at sometime in the future. They wonder why I have no faith in this child care justice system - I lost residency because I worked full time and my ex claimed to be the main carer for my daughter. I worked to ensure we had a home for our family and were not dependant on the state and as I have a nursing qualification we made the decision that I would work, then and now it seems I am being punished for providing for my family.
Today I was asked will I earn earn enough in australia to pay for my ex to visit once a year and for us to bring my daughter to see him twice a year? Why does it always have to be me giving to him?

All I have ever wanted is to be a good mum. I will not let him use my little girl to destroy our future she deserves so much more and we will give it to her I have told them that we will do whatever it takes to achieve our dream and I truly mean that.

Anyway thanks for listening guys, please keep your fingers crossed for us on 21st and if you are of a relgious disposition a prayer wouldn't go amiss.

Sarah

Sheff_Sparky

blimey love.

wishing you all the luck for the next battle.

sals

Oh Sarah,
It seems so unfair you all have to go through all this. I'm thinking of you and keep strong, you can make it through.
It makes me laugh though (sardonic laughter that is). You are expected to pay for him to visit you once per year and you're expected to visit him twice per year? What are you made of money! and what they gonna do if you don't, once you've left the country!............................... fly the social worker out and demand you return for visitation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I were you I'd just go along with what they say, play the nodding dog and get your grant to leave jurisdiction. If he's made no effort to see you child whilst your in Uk, he's very unlikely to make an effort when you've moved continents.

BethandAndrew

Really hope things go to plan for you.............don't know how you coped when your ex got custody of your eldest
Will send you some karma to keep you strong,
Beth x x

Sally Simpson

had no contact for 5 years, why would your daughter want to see him 3 times a year now? I cannot understand this system sometimes!

Hang on in there anyway, only a few more weeks & it will al be sorted!

nigelb

Thanks Beth, when I look back now I know that I didn't cope and I let myself be bullied and manipulated for any contact I could get with my little girl. One thing I do know is that having missed out on so many years of my eldest girl growing up I will not let him spoil my youngest's life, she doesn't know him and after the horrendous cafcass contact before our last hearing she doesn't want to know him. But I am made to feel that I should make her and I don't want to. She is so perfect and beautiful and I will not put her at risk - emotionally.

Life is not a rehearsal....

Thanks again Beth xx

BethandAndrew

I am thinking about you.....I know how stressful the weeks before the final hearing can be
Stay strong, be positive, think of the wonderful new life you will hopefully have this time next year!!!!
Keep us updated......even if you're having a 'down' day ok.......we will be there for you!!!!!
Big hug (((((((((())))))))))
Beth x x

suesk

Good luck for the 21st im sure itll go in your favour and you will be in Oz in the new year starting your fantastic newlife.

Suexx