rangersman

how do you manage coping with being here and knowing that your parent is not well, I spoke to my mum two weeks ago and she told that her lungs were only able to work at 38% and that was down from 50% six months ago.
Then an hour ago she tells me that her eyes are deteriorating caused by blood vessels near to bursting at the back of the eye due to poor circulation apparently.

Part of me want to go back and see her and be with her, but I am so torn as I love it here in Perth and certainly do not want to live in Blighty anymore but how do you cope with the distance, any comments would be gratefully received, Paul

sj oldfield

There is nothing really any of us can say that will help you out on this one.
This is something that will happen to all of us at some stage. You can only do what is right for you....................and I wish you well with it.

phoenixinoz

Oh dear Paul. It's times like this we realise we will always be Expats

Can you manage to get back to your mum for a few weeks? It's not ideal,but it might help for you to see her and spend some quality time together.

It sounds like your mum has a lovely son, and that she is able to talk to you. Perhaps give her a ring and ask her what she feels would help?

Other than that, I don't know what to suggest m8. I just hope all works out well for you and your mum

Alana and Arrons mum

Hi Paul,
My heart goes out to you.this is a huge issue for me too.We are planning to move to Brisbane in March and my mum has MS and is quite poorly.I often have huge guilt trips about leaving but I cant live my life around her illness(she says this herself).I am dreading the day I am at the other side of the world and she becomes ill.I think this is a price we pay for moving away and wanting a better life for our family.
It may be that you could visit your mum for a while.I think it is a tough one and we just have to try to be philisophical about it.Good luck and take care!

pennylessinindia

Paul
this is such a hard issue.
I am just going thru a similar thing except my family 'did not want to worry me' and did not tell me when my mum was unwell.
As some one said this is when living away from familly is a tough one.
I have decided to take a trip to the uk and see her as that feels right.
Interestingly I came to India to look after an ailing f in law.
If only there was a way to transport us quickly and at reasonalbe cost
around the world.
We do speak on the phone quite a lot but it is not the same is it!

Hope you are able to sort this out

Sara1970

Paul - sorry to hear of your mums worsening health. I can only suggest keep talking/emailing her so you can stay involved in the process. Talk to those close to you about how you feel.
My mum who lives in oz, was ill last year, so hard being at such a distance. i ended up visiting after she had her treatment which i found really helped me cope knowing i had a date to visit her planned -
Best wishes
Sara

tiredwithtwins

hi paul,
you must feel awful right now ... but if you had your mums backing to make your move to aus then im sure she will 100% understand why you cant just jump on a plane and be there for what basically is an undeterminable amount of time.
My mum actually supports our move, its the rest of my family that have a problem with it - so when she had a stroke at the beginning of this year, i had to put our plans on hold AGAIN! as there was no way i could have left in the middle of all that is happening now! we intended to go this summer, and it would have been very selfish of us to leave her as she is now...and the rest of my family would certainly have made it plain to us they would think the same!
sorry to waffle, cant really offer you any advice other than - your mum supports you in what you are doing, and although im sure she would want you at her side, she will know its just not possible for you to dash the 12000 miles back to the uk. just being able to talk to you im sure helps her immensely,

sue