Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Hi Kathryn

We know exactly how you feel.My wife and i returned from 5 yrs in NZ last October for similar reasons as yourself,family travel, missed the heritage and brit way of life etc.We bought a house here in Lincolnshire and i even got work.HOWEVER since the day our stuff arrived from from NZ we have been in constant turmoil and feeling a real sense of reverse cultural shock missing our life back in NZ and tormented with regret,particularly my wife.
What made it worse was our only daughter left us whilst in NZ with boyfriend for Perth in 2007 (shes 21 and was 15 when we moved there).
The distance between us from NZ wasnt too bad but here its seems so different and we are now considering a move to Perth to be with her.
I do have a job offer there,but we feel emotionally hamstrung in a sense at the prospect of having to uproot and ship over.
Also, we do not know whether or not at some time she may get fed up in Perth and then we'll be on our todds again over there.At the moment we have no mortgage and i have a good job with pension etc.If we ship there it will be back to mortgage and not so rosy pension benefits.
It is very difficult and we do fully sympathise with you in your dilemma too.
Allwe want is that settled feeling back as i'm sure you do and its awful feeling uprooted with one foot in each country

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

I have this feeling that now an expat I will never look at things in the same way. That's a good thing too I suppose but I am very aware that if I moved back to the UK I would miss things about here. I'd also like though to take back some experiences from here and live life differently there.

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Hi

Thanks for your reply.

Would you be able to take a career break from your current job, so that could enable you to "try" WA for a while? At least that way you could keep a foot in both camps.

Like you we have no mortgage here, but we would also be in the same situation, taking out another mortgage if we moved back to WA and starting over again. I think back to 15 months ago when we had no mortgage in Oz and were both working full-time and life was good. The prospect of taking out another mortgage is like a lead weight. However, if you do that and manage to buy another house, after the initial burden, you would be sitting pretty financially. We always made sure that, financially, we could afford to return to the UK. Now I am trying to ensure that a possible move back to Oz, would not hurt too much financially, bearing in mind that house prices are much higher now than in 2003 when we bought initially. I do, however, feel very confident about us both getting jobs back there.

How long has your daughter been in Perth?

Is her boyfriend from Perth?

I just wonder what the likelihood of her moving on again would be. They say that Perth isn't the best, in terms of what it offers, for people of her age. I just wondered if she may tire of it and want another move. I know, from experience, that Perth is quite insular and unless you are into all the out door activities it can seem a bit like you have done everything after a number of years.

I wish you all the very best with your decisions and plans. Like you said all we want to do is feel settled, something which I thought would happen once I came "home".

Let me know how you get on and what you decide to do.

Kathryn

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Hi Kathryn

Fortunately i have a window in April before i need to start either of 2 regular jobs, one here in UK or Perth (i'm workin agency at the moment so very flexible).

Soooo... weve booked 3 week trip for the 10th April to go over for a proper 'look see' and family chat.

We'll try to spend the 3 weeks living as we might expect to if we moved there...if thats possible.
If it its a thumbs up, i'm staying and starting my post, and my wife will come back to sort out the rent and storage before coming back to OZ.

My daughter has been in Perth since august 2007 and her boyfriend who's Maori has been there with his parents since Feb 2007.They're from the town in NZ where we lived.

You're absolutely right though, we are quite concerned that she might move on after a time there although she assures us she has no intention of doing so..... at the minute! ,and would hate her to feel obligated to stay just because we moved there.

Thankyou for your thoughts, its nice to know there are other folk in the same dilemma isnt it?

All the best with your plans too

Mark

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Hi Mark

So pleased that you have this opportunity to visit and look at Perth.

I was wondering whether you had purchased a one way or return ticket! :ohmy:

It will be really difficult to try and live like you might to if you were to moved there permanently. With the best will in the world a short trip will always be more like a holiday, as you are not working at that time.

One thing I can say about Perth is that it always felt a bit like being in holiday mode though, because the weather was good, a bit too good at times! :shades_smile:

If you get chance you must visit the Forest Rise Eco Retreat in Margaret River. Try and get a last minute deal, it is a bit pricey, but we absolutely loved it there (www.forestrise.com.au).

Let me know how you get on and say hello to Perth for me. Have a fantastic trip.

Kathryn

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Moving overseas does this. I agree - a move to another part of the UK might do it. People you know from years back will never seem the same again. You might even find them quite limited in some ways.

The other side of the coin is that it is as if YOU have never been away, and for them, life has always gone on.

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Hi Kathryn

I know exactly how you feel too, I moved back here with my OH and our son a year ago too and feel the same as you.

We've tried moving to a different part of the country ( due to job reasons) and to be honest I feel even more unsettled now and it doesn't make things any easier so I don't know if the advice to move to another part of the country has worked for me.

Expats in oz told me you've got to go back to want to come back and I think that this saying is true, you've got to come back to the uk to find out where it is you want to be.

For me, it's Australia, but I don't know if it will ever happen as my OH is now in two minds so I'm feeling quite gutted that I might have made the worst decision of my life to move back here!:ohmy:

Feel free to PM me Kathryn, I so know where you're coming from!

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

I have exactly the same problem. After 5 years in Melbourne myself and my partner returned to the UK last year. We both loved our lives in Melbourne however missed our families very much (me in particular) and we had never moved there for good; we had always planned to come back to the UK one day. Now after about 9 months the 'home' sickness for Melbourne is really kicking in and we're starting to struggle. I think the initial fun of seeing everyone whenever we can has worn off and the daily grind of work (which we had in Melbourne too!) is getting boring.
There are 2 things I think about to make me feel better and hope the feeling passes:
1. Its easy to remember the great things about our life in Oz - the fantastic friends, drinking wine in beach side bars etc. etc. However there was also a down side (most of which I won't go into to avoid debates!) but the main thing was something you get anywhere in the world - the daily grind of work. Ultimately no matter where you are most people have to work! its good to remind yourself of these things instead of the lovely things every now and then
2. Shortly after we returned to the UK a close family member became sick and unfortunately in the end died. For the 6 months I was back in the UK I saw her many times, visited her in hospital and basically enjoyed her company, something i could never have done in Oz. That on its own is enough to convince me we made the right move, no matter how hard it is at the moment.

I hope you find the right place to be and feel more at home soon!

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

How true! this is exactly me & my family now, we came back 2007 and have regretted it ever since, however stuck at the moment with a house to sell or rent, so will get back late this year early next year all being well,cant wait

Bluekipper

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

I do!!!:rofl: Very happy to be back home :wub:. Took a few months to settle back in and very very glad we chose to live in Devon and not go back to the Midlands.

To Kathryn, you have to do what's right for you both. Why not take a trip back to Perth and see how you feel? Hope it all works out for you one way or another :thumbup:

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

This is it, if you return to the place you left in the first place why go back to the same place....try somewhere nicer.:)

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

I did just that when I left Australia, I used to live in Sydney, but when I left the UK again, it was Brisbane asap.

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Hi Lucy

I will PM you. Thanks for your kind thoughts. :D

Kathryn

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Hello ABC Diamond

How did you find Sydney, living there?

It is just that we really liked it when we had a holiday there and felt right at home. I think that if we went back to Oz, we would travel and see how we felt about all the areas. I have to say though that we were not impressed with Melbourne and both said that we would have been back in the UK sooner if we had gone there. So probably wouldn't visit there again. :unsure:

Kathryn

Re: Unsettled back in the UK
 

Hi Tracy

We are still giving it 2 years back here before we make any decisions. May feel very differently once OH gets a job, who knows. Wish I could feel like you, but saying that I know that you really did not like it in Perth, whereas we didn't mind it there. Would certainly considering travelling around if we visited again though.

Kathryn