Jackie77

Would like to hear from anyone else that has been in a similar situation and what they done.

Arrived at the end of Sept with O/H and 11yr daughter on a 457 visa, O/H works offshore 4 week's at a time, Got daughter into school for the last 4 week's of term so she could meet friend's before they broke up for the holiday's. For the last few week's i have thought about nothing else apart from going back home to the U.K, Family and friend's back home are telling me it's to soon go return as i haven't given it a proper chance and to at least give it 6 mths, at the moment i don't see myself being here for 6 mths.

eddie007

Honestly...? Its probably too soon.... It takes many months for the acute stage of homesickness to start waning....

Are you working?

because coming to australia as a virtual single parent and being at home fulltime has to be the WORST combination for surviving homesickness.... You need to keep busy and explore and meet new people ... STAT

Your situation isnt going to make it easy... But only you know if you may be able to cope/adapt in the long term....

make sure you get out and meet people as much as you can.... Try not to spend too long talking to peeps on skype or livechat things.... It sucks you back...

Jackie77

Thanx for the reply, I honestly do want to return to the U.K, No im not working was going to look into getting part time work as soon as the schools went back in feb as i need to be here for my daughter, she has made a few friend's and goes out which leaves me stuck in or just doing thing's with my daughter.

Japonica

Seriously, the first six months to a year is the worst. Of course, some folks never settle and want to move back anyway, but you can't see this objectively in the throws of homesickness and trying to make a new life for yourself.

It's also not easy with the holidays coming and thinking about all the family you're missing.

It is too soon. Really. Get out and meet some people (there's a meet up forum on here). I can't advise the usual playgroups and mum and bub stuff with an 11 year old (LOL), but you could ask if her school needs volunteers for Feb. Canteen help? P&F help?

There's all kinds of interest clubs that I see advertised in the local papers...things like walking clubs, social type groups. There's all kinds of fitness type of things in local rec centres. Heck, even Eddie's quilting group

We moved with two kids and I'm a stay-at-home mom until my youngest is off to school, so I understand the feelings of isolation and loneliness that can flare up (especially with a hubby who works away). You really have to put yourself out there to try and counteract all that.

Then at the end of the day, if you still feel that way in six months or a year's time, you can say, "Well, I honestly gave it a go and tried my best but it's not for me."

chris955

It's not really ever too early or too late to return, we are all different. Personally I think many people know immediately where they want to be. my wife has lived here for 20 odd years and can't wait to return next year.

Jackie77

I just know deep down i don't want to be here, I want to return to the U.K but there is two other people to consider not just me.

Japonica

Well, that's the tricky part, right? You also have to see if your finances will be able to handle returning right away. And like you said, there's two other people who have a say in it as well.

I'd also read all the threads of many ping pongers on here who were 110% sure that going back was the best decision they could make.

chris955

That's the problem with becoming a ping ponger, let's not forget that many end up going home AGAIN.

eddie007

I was lucky... Finances meant it wasnt an option for us... So at the end of the day I Had NO choice... That and I had HIM all the time and I worked... Where abouts are you?

Dorothy

Where abouts are you Jackie? Your location says Perth, but Perth's a big, spread out area. If you're NOR there's a few of us who have a book group going once a month. We haven't actually read a book in a few months, so now it's more a "get together and have a couple of drinks & chat group". The January meeting is going to be held on a Sunday afternoon at my place so spouses & kids can come. You're more than welcome to come along if you like. Just PM me or Family of 3 for details.

For my 2c worth, it's a tough time of year. Family is somewhere else, we're here. Christmas can be very trying even for those of us who are settled here so it must be difficult for those who aren't too sure yet. Try to get through the next 4 weeks then see how you feel in the new year about going home. You may find that once the holidays are over and things settle down a bit you'll settle in yourself more.

Japonica

Well, good for them. We were so skint after the first move that there was no way our finances could have handled going Can--Aus--Can--Aus--Can. If people can't settle and can afford to move overseas multiple times, then good on them.

Japonica

And there's a few of us in the southern burbs who get together as well. PM me if you'd like to meet up for coffee or something stronger.

Jackie77

Im quite lucky, we would be ok financially going back, would just have to stay with relatives until we found somewhere to live as we sold our house before we came across.

Im staying in Tapping

eddie007

Have pimmed you

quoll

You're only there on a temporary visa anyway so you may want to put a date on the end of the contract and move then - you still have a couple of years before your daughter's education becomes critical. Knowing that something is not forever makes it easier to deal with as well - like one big holiday!!

It does seem that those who leave early are more likely to end up pingponging and if the FIFO work is financially lucrative then it may be in your best interests to spend some time building up a bit of financial fat so that you can move on comfortably.

You obviously do need to talk to your husband about your feelings and how strong they are and work out the best compromise with him. Good luck with your decision making!