Oz Rascal

Hi guys,

Just looking for experience on this one really as to what you have done.

We have two young boys, aged 4 and 2. We've applied for our visa and hope to be heading over to Australia by September this year by which point they will be nearly 5 and 3.

So far, we haven't spoken to them about the move. Obviously the 2 year old is too young to understand anyway, but it's our 4 year old I'm thinking of here.

His world consists of his home town (although, my Dad lives over in Melbourne and he understands he has a Grandad who lives in Australia and it's too far away to visit regularly) and his timescales are yesterday, today and tomorrow - at best including last week and next week. So, we've always had the opinion we don't want to unsettle him too much and don't plan on telling him until nearer the time.

After watching Wanted Down Under yesterday, where they had two similarly aged children, we got to talking as to whether or not we should be more honest with him at this earlier stage.

So, finally, my question. Anyone who has similarly aged children - what have you done? If you have told them early, how did they handle it, did they understand, etc.

Thanks for any experience you can share.

Colin

mick69

Hi Colin,
My two girls were 3 & 5. Once we had received the TRA back and we had told grandparents etc we told them everything, every step of the way. How far away it was, that we wouldn't see friends and family for a long time etc. Showed them pictures and videos and nearer the time of leaving kept telling them that we were going on a huge adventure.
I think it did prepare them in a way but certainley didn't help them with the goodbyes.

Hope this helps a little
Lynne

Wandathecat

Although my partners children are now 10 and 11 we have been talking to them about moving to Oz over the past couple of years. In the last year they have been told we are applying and when we plan to go.

They are not coming with us so we know its going to be hard for both them and their Dad but we felt that honestly was the best policy. They know everything there is to know and we have sky ++ all the wanted down unders and roo gully diaries to get them enthusistic and comfortable with whats to come.

We had trouble to start with mainly caused by the ex wifes mother (dragon!!) who told the children their father was being selfish and dumping them. We spoke with the ex wife and I think she agreed we needed a united front on all sides. Since then its been fine apart from the odd 'they won't get in anyway' comment which I think is denial!!!

The kids have been brilliant and we talk about it all the time, they have been to 2 meet ups and they love it as they have made so many friends that they are already planning to meet up with on the other side.

So our experience of being honest has been really positive.

Good luck with what you decide

Cx

rocket01

We have 4 kids.
14,7,6 and 4
We took them to Oz 1st, then told them we were thinking of moving there. We also explained to them that it was upto the people in Australia if they would let us move there.
The house is now on the market and we are awaiting or visa

seat151

My lad is 8, so slightly older, but we told him straight away. He has already been the Australia twice before for holiday.

Even got him involved in the process (Photocopy documents and things like that)

al150n

Hi. Our 2 are 18 months & almost 3. We don't intend to move for another 18 months to 2 years so by that point they will be nearly & 5 years old. I watch Wanted Down Under every morning with my kids & just keep saying to Hayley that we could move there & live by the sea. We moved house last year & are moving again in 3 weeks so she understands about moving home but obviously this will incur a long flight as well. We have a house in Cyprus so she's been out there a few times & just takes everything in her stride. While we're out there the kids are so relaxed & easy going but I think that has a lot to do with being outside all the time & not stuck indoors. I think at this young age it will be a lot easier for them to adjust to it all.

Where we live now my sister is just up the road & Hayley is getting used to seeing her weekly so that will be a bit of a wrench when we go. My parents are 3 hours away & we see them several times a year so obviously we won't see them so much but as they the kids don't see them regularly I'm hoping it won't be so hard for them. The hardest bit is going to be leaving my older 3 behind. Hayley adores her half brothers & sister & sees them every couple of weeks.

I don't think she understands yet but I do point things out to her on television & she has a book with pictures of kangaroos, etc in which she is very fond of.

I'm still debating what to do about playgroup & school for her here at the moment as they start a lot later in Oz. She's starting playgroup in April & I've only got her down for 2 days. I don't know whether to hold her back from starting school here & wait until we move. They start pre-school at 5 & then school at 6 & I don't want to confuse her by her starting school here & then her going back to a pre-school environment once we're in Oz. I know all education is a benefit but they stay on unti they are 17 in Oz so that means she could end up spending 13 years at school instead of 11 if she starts here before we move.

Sorry think that turned in to a bit of a waffle

Alison

Australia_bound?

Mine both know, 9 year old moans on about when it's going to happen, 3 year old would like to go on holiday (or so he says). Better option to just tell them and they will absorb what they can and get used to the idea, mine like watching programmes about Aus.
Only thing we're dreading is once it sinks in they'll be leaving friends & family in UK it'll really upset them.
Only issue I have is keeping it hush hush with certain people I don't want to know yet, kids can't help themselves at times and excuses have to be quickly thought up

Iwannabethere

We talk to our 2 year-old about it regularly. She knows that we are going for a holiday in March/April for a while and that we will come back and then go out there 'to live' later in the year. She totally understands and talks about it all the time. She already knows that the sun goes to Australia at night and chats about going on the aeroplane. And she is probably as excited as we are! As long as you break it down into language they understand (we are lucky in that her perception of time is phenomenal!) and answer questions as they arise you'd be surprised what they comprehend.

Oz Rascal

Hi Guys,

Thanks for all your replies. Having seen how most of you are dealing with it has made me realise we are doing more than we initially thought.

We have talked to him a lot about things like it's hot there when it's cold here and it's day time there when it's night time here and so on. We have shown him all the photos from our previous holidays so he's seen all our family over there. He knows Grandad lives too far away to visit all the time and talks to him on the phone a bit.

He did actually mention the other night that he wanted to go and see his Grandad so we told him we'd need to sell the caravan - he was fine and said "OK then, when can we go".

As you say, just keeping it simple is the best option. We just don't want him thinking too much about the family he'll be leaving behind. He does see his Grandma a lot and we don't want him deciding it's not a good option to go.

Thanks again for sharing your experiences, makes me feel like we are doing enough at this point. Just more of the same I think. He's also very keen on going surfing - which we've told him you can do in Australia.

Cheers guys,

Colin

allankate

We have a 5 & 3 year old, they've both known for about a year, since we started the whole process. The 5 year old handles it well, but she is starting to think about leaving Grand parents and school friends.

The 3 year old (4 in April) understand we are going, he knows it's sunny and there's a beach and maybe a pool. But he certainly doesn't understand the concept of moving away, when he speaks about Christmas he says 'we'll go to Australia... and then we'll come home!' and yesterday we said where are we going to tomorrow? (we're away for the weekend visiting family) and his response was 'Australia '

I think if they are involved then it's easier on you guys to talk about it, and gets them used to the idea, even if they don't comprehend what the idea actually means

All the best

Allan

Millie11

Hi, Having moved countries before with my two, who are now nearly 3 and 4 years old, I wait until a couple of months before. Then I start the whole thing of pretty gently. However, I want the visa before we start saying anything. I am pretty sure that I could say ''we are going to live by the beach'' and they would be pretty exited - then they would be annoyed that we are not moving right now..... Both kids are used to their grandparents living ''far'' away so there will be no drama there.

deano66

This is the tack we are taking. I too moved around the world as a child and was given anywhere between a week and a months notice. Probably a bit short to say goodbyes, but in retrospect it minimized the stress and I just got on with it.

It'll be a while before we can move and we have no idea when exactly it will be. So I just think it'll be this thing hanging over them and I'm not sure how they'll react. Also, once we tell them, everyone will know (including work probably) and then it'll cause much bigger issues. I also want to avoid everyone constantly asking when we're going for the next year.

So all in all, we not going to tell them yet. However, we're doing our validation/recce trip in April and its going to be difficult to keep it from them.

-d

rocket01

Can anyone really remember what they did at the age 0f 3,4 or 5 , as I know I don't.

deano66

I was between 8 and 16. My kids are 8 & 12. So yes, they'll remember