Shadowfox

Not sure if I should start saying it to people now or wait until the time when I would be submitting the application ??

Only see the folks once a year due to distance and other commitments though phone call every few weeks

CO-own a house with another family member who has said in the past that we would sell it anyway

What have other people done ??

pako

I think that its good to give people as long a time as possible to get used to the idea. Its different for me as I am married to an aussie and all my family have been to and love australia....they can't wait for me to go so they can come and visit! Good luck with your plans!

Sue2

We told most of ours at the very start and they have all been great. I told my mum & dad once we got our TRA and they were not so great They have said that they will deal with it when we get our visas so I update them when needed and get no response I`m sure they will be fine in the end.

Good luck, I do believe once you get your TRA its a good time to tell all, let them get used to it all.

Sue

matt n ann marie

We told them all early, we have two young children and felt we should warn them as early as possible. They're all getting used to the idea and my Dad has set up an Australia fund for visits so knowing in plenty of time meant he could get saving!!!! I think my mum sees it as an achievement on her part - that we've got the skills and confidence to go out and try this. Obviously she'll miss us but she appreciates why we want to do it and that we're trying to give our kids the best that we can. We only just got our TRA last week so we've a way to go. This way they can approach us with any worries and questions which my husbands Mum is doing, she's used to all her family living in the same village and found it hard when we moved 2 hours away 4 years ago.

binbird

My husband's brother moved out to Oz back in August 2004 and the rest of his family are in the process of applying (i.e. his other brother, his sister and his parents). So I felt it was only fair to tell everyone (i.e my side of the family) as soon as possible to allow them time to get used to the idea. My sister moved to New Zealand just over a year ago so I felt it was important to let them know that another one was leaving the fold. They are supportive but naturally upset but it has not caused any friction. I know from reading the forum that a lot of people have had very difficult relationships with loved ones after telling them of their plans so you can only choose to do what feels right for you.

Good luck with this decision and the many others that you will face!

Binbird

worzel

There are loads and loads of threads on this subject if you search. We told ours before Xmas and given the circumstances it went reasonably well. It is probably the hardest thing in this whole process but be strong and get it over with is my advice. Some people have had parents suddenly develop illnesses or pile on the pressure but once they realise you are serious and nothing will change your mind they will start to deal with it. She'll be right!

Click69

We told our family that we were looking into Australia almost immediately. As the process is advancing we told them what is going on. The theory was that if we told them early enough they would get used to the idea.

So far my parents in law have gone from disbelief to acceptance and have been great, whereas my parents i.e. my mother refuses point bland to accept what is going on and is sure we will never go.

I know its not much help but it seems to us that how people will react will be down to them and not to them and not down to when you tell them. However, for us telling everyone was the best option for us and our kids, friends and 'most' of our family are OK with our decision.

Hope this helps

GinaUK

We've only just started the process, and we won't tell family until we've got the visa. We expect things will get difficult once we tell family, and as it's possible that we may not get the visa, we didn't want to get any problems now.

Also, if we get the visa, it'll probably be another 1 1/2 years before we leave - that's still plenty of time for family to get used to it.

Gina

doodle

I agree with GinaUK, when we knew we were leaving for the USA we were so exited that the first thing we did was tell the parents. This did not go down too well at all. They were devistated, it was a very hard time for everyone up until the day we left. I think that we just prolonged the agony for them. If we had waited until everything was finalised and plans had been set when the time came to tell them it would have put their minds at rest; given them less to worry about if we could have given them facts like where we will be living, the job situation, the date we were going etc. Its very tempting to want to share the news that will change your life, but this road is not an easy one and has many, many bumps along the way. I think you can end up burdoning parents with all your worries about your move in the mean time all they can do is stand back and wait. They are not in control of anything, its very hard on them. As you say too, there is always the possibility of not getting the visa and all the upset would be for nothing. My advice would be to keep it to yourselves until you have it all in the bag. It will be hard and you will be at bursting point but I think it will be easier on people in the long run. Of course all this depends on what sort of parents you have, most will not be thrilled at the prospect of their child moving half way around the world what ever the reason, not at first. They usually come round, some take years and some never accept it, its the risk you take.
Good luck Gina!

CasG

I told my folks straight away - good job too, as despite a few problems, things went through very quickly - 6 months from first contact with nursing agency to now - I go tomorrow morning.
My family - especially my Mum - took it hard, and I think she needed that time to adjust.

Good luck with everything, Cas

samnrob2

U go tomorrow morning - superb!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait to be in your shoes. We'll be going in a month or so. Where are you going.

So as to keep the thread going - we told our parents pretty much straight away. Wife's family are all fine - can't wait for cheap hols. My family aren't very happy - oh well...can't live your life through others and shouldn't live your life to please others.

Rob

CasG

Going to Melbourne - 10.10 flight from Manchester!
What about you?

To keep thread going - agree with your sentiment - can be a bit ifficult to deal with sometimes if things get too heavy (which they were with my Mum for a while)

Cas

samnrob2

:scared: :scared: :scared: for you!!

whilst also very as well lol.

Got our visas - just trying to tie up house sale before booking flights. Got a buyer - but chain has collapsed (hopefully temporarily!). Brisbane-bound...no jobs, no idea...no turning back.

How does the chatroom work - I'm the only person in there (so it appears?!)

68MEVY

My dad has known for a few years that I wanted to migrate and now it's happening he's really happy for us to go, he is hoping to retire out there but we're heading for Qld where as he's heading for Melbourne so we'll still be miles apart. My 4 brothers all know and are all happy for us. However we told my mum about a year ago and she ignored us. Even when we told her I'd got a positive TRA assessment she was in denial. I think it'll hit her when I ask her to have my cat, she's getting on a bit and I don't think she'd survive (the cat, not my mum) and she loves cats so I know she'll say yes. (My dog gets to come, she's only 2), so bfor now she'll carry on pretending that I'm not really going, we're taking her first grand daughter and only grand child with us and I think thats why she thinks we won't go, and I do feel a bit mean about it but I'm not letting that stop me, there is such a thing as holidays after all!

samnrob2

You go girl!! Whoop Whoop... lol