tinaj

Just interested to know when people have told their families about their plans to emigrate.Did you tell them during the early stages or did you leave it to when you had your visa?

We have told my Father ,Mother and Sister in Law and they have been really positive telling us to go for it. However my Mum has been told by the children of our plans and burst into tears and proclaimed she would not visit us. She had 2 thrombosis in her legs years ago ( pregnancy related)and said it is too much of a risk flying. She is basically hoping we don't go.

I think she knows we plan to go but I havn't spoken to her as I can't cope with her crying on me again. I am her only contact over here and we are fairly close, but she lives 3 hours away so we don't see each other that often.

#Just interested to find out when you told your folks.

lace

hi tina,
we have told just my side of the family,
dont want to build up hope just to be let down
my mum whom i am very close to will miss my kids so bad
but she knows we only want a better life for the kids
and although shes sad shes with me all the way
go speak to your mum dont leave it to the last minute,
her knowing just now can give her plenty quality time to spend
with u all b4 u go

hope things go well

parrot

Hi Tina,

We told our folks after we had applied, which seems ages ago now, but well before we got our visa. We applied October 2001 and we told them after we had our skills assessed and had the goahead for the main application. My mum was really upset at first, but said she understood why we wanted to go etc and now we have the visa she's really excited for us and is planning her holiday to Melbourne for Jan 2004!! I am really close to my mum and sister, but they've both said they'll come and visit, and we'll come back here for holidays, and we're not looking at it like we're leaving forever. At the moment it's a five year plan. After that we'll wait and see.
I hope it all works out for you...
Parrot

wizzywozza

We waited until we had our visas and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was so close to my parents, and it broke their hearts. The hurt was only eased a bit when one of their grandchildren emigrated to NZ a couple of years later but 12 years on my dad still asks me when am I coming home each and every time I speak to him on the phone. That is so hard to bear, but I am glad I am here and wouldn't go back to the UK to live now.

FOX

We told our parents right back a million years ago when we applied! My parents (although they are divorced) reacted identically, would not discuss it, adn we have spent the best part of two years ignoring the issue. When we were asked to lodge the bond a few weeks ago we decided we had to face the issue again with them. This time they both reacted so deferently, my mum who had not talked about it at all with us had been mentally preparing herself for it all along, and has just been absolutly amazing, so supportive and understanding, I know it is breaking her heart but she is being completely selfless. She has had several strokes and a kidney transplant, but is still determined to visit us next year, she is now throwing herself into researching cheap flights and insurance etc. My Dad on the other hand completely fell apart, it has hit him really hard, and he kept saying that he knows he will only see us 3 or 4 times before he dies (baring in mind they are both only in their mid 50s!). He then would not talk to me for several weeks.

All in all I think the earliest you tell them the better, it doesn't get any easier, but gives everybody a chance to get used to it.

A friend told me to stay excited and enthusiastic when I talk to them, as then they will see what it means to us. I think this is good advice, ultimately they want what is best for us and they want to be sure that we are happy!

Sarah
xx
ps
Just got a phonecall from AHC London to say our passports are ready for collection!

We fly out 13/04/03!!!!

andie

i told my mom when we first applied, she was very upset, i felt guilty(still do), as my dad had died 6months previously, and she thought i was abandoning her, but 19months on she seems to have got used to the idea, as i talk of nothing eles, i think shes fed up of hearing it now!! ialso have a much younger sister who wont really talk about it with me, me being the elder sister, she thinks iam being cruel to leave them both. its been hard going and i know there will be lots of tears. :scared: :scared:

Loopy

We told our family and friends when we began applying, over two and a half years ago. We have three sets of parents between us, two find it very hard to talk about it, always knocking Australia etc. I know it's only because they don't want us, especially the kids, to go, but it hurts sometimes. As it's been so long now I think everyone thinks we won't go and it will be a shock when things finally come together.

After having two house sales fall through it's been hard telling them the news as they're quite glad whilst we're feeling devestated. My husband's mum has changed her opinion from not wanting us to go to being supportive when she sees how upsetting it's been for us all over the last few months. She's even started to look to see whether they'd be able to come too!

I think the sooner you tell them the more time they have to prepare themselves. However with the benefit of hindsight I wouldn't have told lots of friends as we get sick of all the questions "are you still here the????", obviously we are!!!!

brox

We told Neils parents right back at the beggining ( 12 months ago) of our plans. They took the news v.v.v.v badly. 5 days after we,d told them, Neils mum had a heart attack and was in intensive care for 9 days.

Since then the subject hasn,t been mentioned to her, his dad keeps having digs about how ill she is, and how she should,nt be put under any stress.

We are now waiting for our visas and know the day is fast approching when all hell is going to break loose again. I wouldn.t mind if it was Neil she was going to miss, but all shes bothered about is the kids.

But, after all this, Neil and I are still talking, and the kids are as keen as ever to go. We know the next 3 months are going to be very hard, but it will soon be over.


Until the In-laws come for their first visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs Brox

jockney

Hi,We had told relatives and freinds when we applied a long time ago which was awkward at best.However after nearly two years most of them dont now believe we are going and dont beleive that it could take so long.The most annoying thing is someone you have told asking every couple of months are you still going to australia?Of coarse we f------n are would be my chosen reply but try to be more diplomatic to fam and freinds. jockney

footie chick

Hi

We told our families and they have been good about it so far apart from the in-laws keep trying to cause little problems. Nigels dad in particular keeps saying how ill his mum is etc. Mine have been good and so have family and friends but this is such a long task that people think because nothing is happening you will be staying.

As far as we are both concerned we live seperate lives from our parents and my dad lives in Spain so i hardly see him and his wife. You only get one shot at life and we intend to make the most of it. The difficult part is Nigels parents are in their 80`s and one his brother keeps pointing this out.

But don`t worry telling anyone if they want the best for you they will be happy eventually, just try and ignore all the jibes and tantrums.

footiechick

abergas

We told both sets of parents from the beginning, Daves parents just said oh really!!!!! and didn't say anymore about, blocked it out as if it wasn't going to happen, unfortunately his mum died from cancer in June, now the time has come to leave well May 27th , his dad is very upset and abit lost, it's suddenly hit him after 19 months. My parents were upset at first as we are taking their only grandchildren away, but as i told them they have had them the best part of their lives, now they are young men and doing their own thing 14 & 12, since things have got moving for us after christmas, they are really pleased for us and have even booked their flights to come and see us at christmas 2003. Even my brother is coming he is a workaholic and never takes holiday.
After 7 months I will actually look forward to seeing them. It almost has given them a new lease of life.
I think telling them at the beginning is a good idea, as they get used to the fact that you will be leaving, they have been involved all along, it worked for us anyway
good luck
c-ya Yve

tinaj

Thanks for all of your replies.

It seems like I am the only mean cow around who hasn't officially told her MUM. I feel awful now, but we won't be leaving for approx 11 months so she should still have time to deal with it.
The guilt is harder to bear when you are their only contact and are taking all of their Grandkids away!!

I don't think I can bear to tell her to her face, I might have to cop out over the phone, at least then if she starts crying it will be after she has put the phone down!!
I hope she doesn't try to blackmail me with threats of I won't be visiting you or you will never see me again.
Thank God the IN Laws have been so supportive. They are already planning to come out the Summer after we arrive - all being well that is.

Oh well, must bite the bullet.

lenaro_w

We told our parents from the outset. My family were not best impressed to start with but have now come round. Aby's mum just didn't believe us as we have spoken about it before. She is in Oz at the moment and keeps sending postcards to the kids with info about Australian wildlife on them.

We had the same problems everyone has with taking away grandchildren but for christmas I gave my parents a computer and got them on e-mail so they can still have contact and have promised to send them video's when we go.

We are now waiting to sell the house and all we seem to be asked is "Have you sold the house yet?" It gets annoying as they would know if we had sold the house because they would all receive their invites to our leaving party.

wizzywozza

Of course telling the family is one hard part to it - then comes actually saying goodbye and leaving for the airport not knowing if you will ever see them again . The day I did that is one that I still don't like to think about. What was worse was the day we left there was a blizzard and no one could make it to the airport - we had left 2 days previously because of the bad weather and were stuck in a hotel at Heathrow.

wolfens_wife

My mum says "Everybody wants to emigrate, and its all pie in the sky, and it will never happen- Im a daydreamer, and we will always be in the UK because its our home"

The mother in law however is a different kettle of fish. She would fake her own death several times if she found out our plans.

So... I've come up with a massive whopping lie! My little boy (5) is very talented at acting and has been going to stage school for some time. We are going to tell her a week before we emigrate that he has got a stage school sponsorship and that he will be in "Neighbours" in years to come. Therefore she can't complain at an opportunity of a lifetime - especially for her grandchild.

Im a bad bad girl ....