johull

We have been here on the Gold Coast for almost 3 months now. My 14 year old is at Varsity College but is struggling to make mates. He said its fine at school but nobody seems to do things after school or arranges things for weekends. He isnt overly shy, had tonnes of mates at home and is struggling. I dont know what to do. We went to Mudgereeba soccer club but the coach said the team is full so that was a no go.

I hate seeing him like this, he has just started working at McDonalds after school and on a Sunday so may make friends there but they seem older than him. Has anyone else found this? I feel like the worst mum in the world

Petals

It is very hard to fit in and takes time. Don't give up on the sport, join another club, cricket, baseball, surf club, if you work ask your work mates. Its the best way to get friends. What about golf.

My son plays Baseball and when he joined at 12 another friend was supposed to go with him he did not turn up and now my son is grown up and still plays baseball at 30..

Cotton wool syndrome is alive and well even with teenagers.

Potato_potato

Maybe it's time he started asking girls out. That should cheer him up.

Burbage

When are teenagers ever happy?

wardy2

is there any other football teams he could try?

Saying that my lads (15 and 13) are in 8 teams between them and its very rare they go out other than to training amd matches with their mates compared to the way they did in the UK.

Also it may be worth persuing the football club thing as its a great way for the parents to meet lots of people and get invited to different social things.

good luck to your son I really hope things pick up for him soon.

Potato_potato

Happiness is a monstrosity! Punished are those who seek it.

moneypenny20

I'd go back to the footy club and ask them again. I don't think saying the team is full is a good reason. For all they know your son could be the next David Beckham. Most clubs have more players than they need, they just rotate them. Is there anything else he's interested in? Tai Kwon Do or cricket or something. There are so many clubs all over the coast covering just about every interest and sport.

Syedney

Hey mate...
I have posted here an update (see update forum) on how we felt after three months and there are so many good advices from people here...Here's the link:
[URL="http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?p=7458071#post7458071"]click here

While your 14 year old keeps trying to mingle, he'll always have good chance to meeting people. I really wish the best and am sure you'll be here soon to let us know that he has found many friends...

Just a question of not giving up...Good luck!

coolerkingcooler

I agree with the other sports, I think this is true even if your an adult. I personally recommend golf if possible as kids get the chance to play for hours in the holiday and they always make friends and learn some etiquette. Also, good martial arts clubs that foster the right attitude are a great hobby for all.

Good luck,
Cooler

DestinationSydney

Hi, I have a 15 yr girl in the same boat but we have been near nearly a year now and she is getting better! So hang in there. If you google gold coast soccer and look under junior soccer there are plenty more teams to try. They are half way into the season now but we found a place for our 12 year old son last year as someone dropped out, so worth phoning around.
Michelle

Kath & Graham

Hi Jo

Have pmd you xx

shiels

Our 16 yr old finds this too, has lots of mates at school but they dont do anything in the evenings. He plays footie at a local club so that has helped and hes just got into fishing, something we never thought he would be into!!!

Still early days for you guys, sure it will get better for you X

viviennef

My 18 year old nephew has been the same but joined a football club on the bench. He has only been out alone maybe 3 times since being here because people dont seem to be going out as much here - then 2 weeks ago he met a lad who also liked football then all of a sudden he has this group of friends and moves out! From nothing to complete social butterfly in a fortnight.

Kids take some time but friendships when they happen are quick

just take him where people his own age are and he will make friends eventually

Vivienne

imanaussie

Maybe your son could try organising a day to meet at one of the theme parks. I have a 13yo son and 15yo dd and this is something they have done with friends from school. Might be an ice breaker. My kids seem to live on myspace and msn. Does your son have a myspace account? He can probably get to know some kids a little better out of school hours by communicating this way. I know it sounds lame but teens today use myspace like a meeting place where they organise their life!

I know my dd lives for 'late night' on a Thurs. night. A lot of her friends, male and female, meet up at Robina Town Centre or Pacific Fair and just chill, window shop and hang out. They seem to enjoy it and it gets them off the computer. Just some ideas that spring to mind. I am sure that it wont be long before he begins to make friends.

Rosscarbery

My 15 year old has really only started going out to meet friends in the past 6 months and we've been here nearly two years. He too says that people don't often meet up outside school (except the surfie guys who live within walking distance of the beach and surf every day). He is gradually increasing his circle of friends but a lot of the kids here are quite tribal and still hang out with the mates they know from primary school. Another expat kid is probably his closest friend because he feels they have more in common, and they meet up at the gym and at weekends as they don't go to the same school. Shared experiences are often the foundations of friendships so maybe bring him along to any expat meet ups in your area and he'll probably find teenagers in the same boat.