Billabong207

Hi all,
weather really nasty here bets its hot hot hot in QLD.

Beside the form filling, the cost, the worry and the waiting, has any else had to suffer the wrath of a 16 yr old daughter????

One day she's going the next day she's not. Yes I understand that she feels she is leaving her whole life behind but the up side must out way it.

My hubby and I want to go for good, she is not keen and says that she will go for a year.

Help us please with this emotional termoil.

a picture of Hannah aged 16

Cheers all

rapitts

Just bite your lip...she will probably love OZ after a few weeks.

CROSSY

Mmmmm sounds very familiar, ask Hannah to give give you two years, long enough to get a real idea of life in oz and to get citizenship, once you have that you can come and go as often as you like!! This is the deal we have with ours and it seems to be working
Good luck
ps where are you going? our stephi is 16...maybe they could talk?

Elaine M

Hi,

My daughters are 16 and 18 and both are sure they don't want to go with me to Adelaide next August though the eldest says she may follow me later. It's a bit different for my younger daughter as she has a baby to think of - though I'd agree that the up side should outweigh the downside, they have a different point of view.

I'd love them to talk with others who are keen to go, just to get another angle on the idea, but would be worried they might put off anyone who's not 100% determined to go!

They're certainly doing a good job of making me examine carefully my reasons for wanting to emigrate!!

Elaine

Goodpubmisser

16 is a very bad age for kids to emigrate. At 16 you are still reliant on your parents but starting the road towards independance.

I feel sorry for her - if she comes with you she will lose her childhood friends and will find it difficult to make new ones in Australia. If she stays in England she will lose the support of her parents - emotional, somewhere to stay when she has problems and financial.

If she stays in England she might well end up marrying early just to replace her lost family. That then may end up in early divorce and her being a single parent.

My advice would be to wait about four more years until she has
settled down.

Just my opinion - I don't know you or your daughter so I don't know how stong willed she is.

janeyray

I agree with this reply.
I have a sister that is sixteen years younger than me and I know how she would have felt if my parents had said they were going to live in Oz! I know how I would have felt if they had said that to me

Our daughter has found it extreamly difficult to settle and she is only 6 years old. Friends we have made who have sons 17 and 19 have said they still aren't settling after over a year.

At 16 years old longterm friendships have been formed and teenagers don't take well to drastic lifestyle changes.

I would leave it for a few more years and see how she feels then?

Davenshell

we've been here in Melbourne 2 months and our 17 yr old daughter went back 2 weeks ago she did not want to go back to school and she applied for numerous jobs but 99% of the time did not get any replies, that got her really down. She would be on the phone every night and was very unhappy there was no give it a year and see how it goes she was determined to go back so we had to let her go. You know how kids are at that age there is no reasoning with them she is currently living with mother-in-law and happy.My younger daughter soon to be 15 has got on really well and made friends easily she has hardly no contact with friends back in the UK.
David

tosh cambridge

Hi Elaine

We are flying out to Aus next month and I am leaving my 19 year old daughter behind who has two children and lives independantly. I am finding it extremely dificult and it will be a hige emotioal wrentch, I will miss my grandchildren dreadfully - I think the fact its christmas soon doesn't help. I don't know for sure if I can do tit untill i'm on the plane
:scared: :scared:

Elaine M

Steve and Kath,

Sent you a PM.

Elaine

WBB

thank god both mine are young, i hate to think what this must be like with teenagers in the family :scared:

dotty

I cant help but wonder is getting a bigger house and more sunny days worth splitting up a family for???

These posts sound heartbreaking, what an awful awful decision to have to make. I'd choose me kids, no doubt. No house would beat them, no amount of sun either, neither are all they are cracked up to be anyway.

Terribly sad post.

rachels

When I was 15 my dad lost his job in the shipyards of Tyneside (thank you Maggie) and was unemployed for a year. It was a terrible time for the whole family. He was finally offered work abroad and it looked like we'd have to go. I was devastated and didn't want to go. Luckily for my Dad he got another job on Tyneside at the last minute and so we stayed.

My point is twofold:
Firstly, with hindsight (a wonderful thing, I know) is that all the fuss I made about missing friends etc was misplaced. We all drifted apart once we left school, went to Uni, got jobs etc and today I am only in touch with one of them.

Secondly, we don't know why this family wants to move to Australia so we shouldn't assume that "getting a bigger house and sunshine" are the reasons and pass judgement on them for that.

Thirdly, my parents gave to me all my life and if moving abroad was something they really wanted (through necessity or to see out their days in happiness) then I would want them to make that decision for themselves. I don't think it comes down to a choice between children or Australia, that is a very simplistic view. It comes down to the adults making the decisions about what is best for the family and being supportive and understanding while the kids get used to the idea. I personally would just go along with the year thing and see how she feels once she's out there. You may be fighting unecessary battles.

Before everybody jumps on me (!) yes I'm an adult and can use the benefit of hindsight that this girl doesn't have, no I haven't got children of my own yet and I'm only speaking from experience and its just my personal response. Phew!

Madhouse!

Well said Rachels!
It is a tough decision to make, my parents waited for myself and my bro and sis to all be settled down back in the UK before following there long time dream emigrateing to Greece.
Sometimes i wished they had followed there dream earlier and took us with them to experience what they have experienced.
My parents did what they thought was best, everybody is different and here 9yrs later i am emigrateing with my 2 children
thankfully they are both happy to go now after a few hiccups with my 13yr old daughter.

My Opinion is take your daughter with you agree that it could only be for a year you never know she may end up loving it there and thank you for it one day!

Claire

tosh cambridge

Elaine.

Don't seem to have received your message - would be good to hear your thoughts on my situation - Kath

tosh cambridge

Elaine
Thanks
sent PM
Kath