Tazzy update
Sep 30th 2003, 6:58 pm
#16
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Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Perth we were.Back in the uuuk
Posts: 355
Well done Tazzy,Hubby and baby taz,
You have made the first move, the ball is now in their court,
things can only get better from here on in especially with the big move to Aus.I'm sure all will agree were here if needed
You have made the first move, the ball is now in their court,
things can only get better from here on in especially with the big move to Aus.I'm sure all will agree were here if needed
Sep 30th 2003, 7:38 pm
#17
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Bolton
Posts: 174
Once again, a big thanks to you all. I don't think I could have got through today without your support.
Your Friend
Tazzy
Your Friend
Tazzy
Sep 30th 2003, 7:45 pm
#18
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Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Eatons Hill, Brisbane
Posts: 2,289
Tazzy
Originally posted by Tazzy
Once again, a big thanks to you all. I don't think I could have got through today without your support.
Your Friend
Tazzy
Once again, a big thanks to you all. I don't think I could have got through today without your support.
Your Friend
Tazzy
take care mate and remember what YOUR reasons are for wanting to go to Australia
hugs
rach
Sep 30th 2003, 7:58 pm
#19
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Joined: Mar 2003
Location: Hands up if you like shopping !!
Posts: 876
Hang in there
sorry to hear of this, they will come round eventually i'm sure of that as they obviously love you all v much and just want someone ie your husband to blame.
think if we all took a step back for a moment we would be able to see those close and dear to us having alot to cope with, whilst we have excitment, others to discuss it with in same position and lots of clearing out to do/selling houses and whatever else involved
we are lucky that families have been v accepting, although it will break their hearts to see little Oliver go, will hurt me too as he has a cousin who is like a sister to him and my emotions run up and down sometimes so not thinking too much of that date yet!!
keep smiling, planning and visiting them, sure like everyone, need all support you can and never move without building bridges........could be the last chance to do so
all best
xx
think if we all took a step back for a moment we would be able to see those close and dear to us having alot to cope with, whilst we have excitment, others to discuss it with in same position and lots of clearing out to do/selling houses and whatever else involved
we are lucky that families have been v accepting, although it will break their hearts to see little Oliver go, will hurt me too as he has a cousin who is like a sister to him and my emotions run up and down sometimes so not thinking too much of that date yet!!
keep smiling, planning and visiting them, sure like everyone, need all support you can and never move without building bridges........could be the last chance to do so
all best
xx
Sep 30th 2003, 8:24 pm
#20
Nov 27th 2003: Brisbane
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Neath
Posts: 172
Originally posted by h garrett
The one thing i find ironic in all of this is the support all of us strangers get from each other on here
The one thing i find ironic in all of this is the support all of us strangers get from each other on here
Tazzy,
As long as you, your hubby and babba are together, no matter where you are, you'll be happy.
If that somewhere happens to be Australia, then thats great.
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.
Sep 30th 2003, 8:28 pm
#21
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Joined: Feb 2002
Location: Dream life UK....
Posts: 2,912
Tazzy, try to reverse it, how would you feel one day if your kid turned around and said I am taking my baby to the other side of the world. They are only saying this because it hurts.
Parents are older and wiser, they have no fancy notions of the wonderful um life in OZ, all they see is the reality that they are not young enough to do a flight that could kill them off. Most could not possibly afford it either.
They are saying pissy things to you because their hearts are breaking literally, for heavens sake they love you and the kid is probably the highlight of their life.
Try to understand how they feel, its not really you whos being hurt is it? its them.
Look my mum did the same, I thought she had lost the plot, now I understand it. Just step into their shoes instead of taking the comments to heart.
Its not going to stop you going, however its got to be faced your parents are facing loosing you and their grandkid who is fortunately too young to have the same emotions about leaving them. You will understand it, once you are here, when its emails not visits.
I can never understand these posts, Do people really expect their familys to say good, piss off we hate you or something?? Would you be hurt if you realised you may now see your grandkid just a couple of times before you die?
Come on, of course familys hurt, and some of them spit out hurtful stuff in response.
If we were being honest here, its part of the trade off, bigger houses, more sun, but less family, deal with it honestly and you will understand it.
Parents are older and wiser, they have no fancy notions of the wonderful um life in OZ, all they see is the reality that they are not young enough to do a flight that could kill them off. Most could not possibly afford it either.
They are saying pissy things to you because their hearts are breaking literally, for heavens sake they love you and the kid is probably the highlight of their life.
Try to understand how they feel, its not really you whos being hurt is it? its them.
Look my mum did the same, I thought she had lost the plot, now I understand it. Just step into their shoes instead of taking the comments to heart.
Its not going to stop you going, however its got to be faced your parents are facing loosing you and their grandkid who is fortunately too young to have the same emotions about leaving them. You will understand it, once you are here, when its emails not visits.
I can never understand these posts, Do people really expect their familys to say good, piss off we hate you or something?? Would you be hurt if you realised you may now see your grandkid just a couple of times before you die?
Come on, of course familys hurt, and some of them spit out hurtful stuff in response.
If we were being honest here, its part of the trade off, bigger houses, more sun, but less family, deal with it honestly and you will understand it.
Sep 30th 2003, 8:33 pm
#22
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Eatons Hill, Brisbane
Posts: 2,289
BrisbaneBrummie
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. [/QUOTE]
Many a true word!
rach
:lecture:
Many a true word!
rach
:lecture:
Sep 30th 2003, 9:22 pm
#23
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Bolton
Posts: 174
Originally posted by dotty
Tazzy, try to reverse it, how would you feel one day if your kid turned around and said I am taking my baby to the other side of the world. They are only saying this because it hurts.
Parents are older and wiser, they have no fancy notions of the wonderful um life in OZ, all they see is the reality that they are not young enough to do a flight that could kill them off. Most could not possibly afford it either.
They are saying pissy things to you because their hearts are breaking literally, for heavens sake they love you and the kid is probably the highlight of their life.
Try to understand how they feel, its not really you whos being hurt is it? its them.
Look my mum did the same, I thought she had lost the plot, now I understand it. Just step into their shoes instead of taking the comments to heart.
Its not going to stop you going, however its got to be faced your parents are facing loosing you and their grandkid who is fortunately too young to have the same emotions about leaving them. You will understand it, once you are here, when its emails not visits.
I can never understand these posts, Do people really expect their familys to say good, piss off we hate you or something?? Would you be hurt if you realised you may now see your grandkid just a couple of times before you die?
Come on, of course familys hurt, and some of them spit out hurtful stuff in response.
If we were being honest here, its part of the trade off, bigger houses, more sun, but less family, deal with it honestly and you will understand it.
Tazzy, try to reverse it, how would you feel one day if your kid turned around and said I am taking my baby to the other side of the world. They are only saying this because it hurts.
Parents are older and wiser, they have no fancy notions of the wonderful um life in OZ, all they see is the reality that they are not young enough to do a flight that could kill them off. Most could not possibly afford it either.
They are saying pissy things to you because their hearts are breaking literally, for heavens sake they love you and the kid is probably the highlight of their life.
Try to understand how they feel, its not really you whos being hurt is it? its them.
Look my mum did the same, I thought she had lost the plot, now I understand it. Just step into their shoes instead of taking the comments to heart.
Its not going to stop you going, however its got to be faced your parents are facing loosing you and their grandkid who is fortunately too young to have the same emotions about leaving them. You will understand it, once you are here, when its emails not visits.
I can never understand these posts, Do people really expect their familys to say good, piss off we hate you or something?? Would you be hurt if you realised you may now see your grandkid just a couple of times before you die?
Come on, of course familys hurt, and some of them spit out hurtful stuff in response.
If we were being honest here, its part of the trade off, bigger houses, more sun, but less family, deal with it honestly and you will understand it.
Sep 30th 2003, 9:31 pm
#24
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Bolton
Posts: 174
I am being honest about it Dotty, thats why it is hurting me too!
Yes I would be upset if my son upped and left when he's old enough. But I could understand why. There's a whole world out there. One that needs to be explored, seen and lived.
I'm all for settling down one day in one place but not until I've experienced a hell of alot more than I have already.
I'm 27. I'm not ready for my pipe and slippers and warm cosy fire.
I really hope my attitude doesn't change when I am "older". Yes I do care about and love my folks deeply and yes I can understand their reasons for being so god damn awful to me BUT ...........you know why, just like everyone else in this forum....I don't have to spell it out!
Tazzy
Yes I would be upset if my son upped and left when he's old enough. But I could understand why. There's a whole world out there. One that needs to be explored, seen and lived.
I'm all for settling down one day in one place but not until I've experienced a hell of alot more than I have already.
I'm 27. I'm not ready for my pipe and slippers and warm cosy fire.
I really hope my attitude doesn't change when I am "older". Yes I do care about and love my folks deeply and yes I can understand their reasons for being so god damn awful to me BUT ...........you know why, just like everyone else in this forum....I don't have to spell it out!
Tazzy
Oct 1st 2003, 1:17 pm
#25
I Know What's Going On!
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: On The Outside Looking In!
Posts: 1,499
Originally posted by dotty
I can never understand these posts, Do people really expect their familys to say good, piss off we hate you or something?? Would you be hurt if you realised you may now see your grandkid just a couple of times before you die?
I can never understand these posts, Do people really expect their familys to say good, piss off we hate you or something?? Would you be hurt if you realised you may now see your grandkid just a couple of times before you die?
Toughen up, Dotty, or people will walk all over you.
They call the shots, not their family.
Oct 1st 2003, 2:01 pm
#26
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: My Place
Posts: 529
Hi Tazzy
So sorry that things have turned out this way for you, but i'm really glad that you have stood up for youself and your family, as everyone says in time they may come round and accept it, but whats done is done and things that have been said cannot be unsaid whatever the reason was for them saying it. Things will never be the same in your relationship with your parents but i dont think this is a negative, its got to be taken as a positive, hopefully they will have learned that you are your own person and not there to be controlled by them and hopefully they will realise that by balming your husband they will only alienate you farther. As for you, feel good about standing up for your family, being strong and standing up for what you believe in. Your parents must have done a pretty good job in raising you if you can do all that!
Good luck and be strong, the hardest part is over and i think you handled it well.
Lynn
So sorry that things have turned out this way for you, but i'm really glad that you have stood up for youself and your family, as everyone says in time they may come round and accept it, but whats done is done and things that have been said cannot be unsaid whatever the reason was for them saying it. Things will never be the same in your relationship with your parents but i dont think this is a negative, its got to be taken as a positive, hopefully they will have learned that you are your own person and not there to be controlled by them and hopefully they will realise that by balming your husband they will only alienate you farther. As for you, feel good about standing up for your family, being strong and standing up for what you believe in. Your parents must have done a pretty good job in raising you if you can do all that!
Good luck and be strong, the hardest part is over and i think you handled it well.
Lynn
Oct 1st 2003, 2:43 pm
#27
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 28
Hi Tazzy,
I/we are going through exactly the same, almost word for word.
I think 'SteveBannister' nailed it on the head in his answer to dotty. You cannot change your plans to make everyone else happy. If you stay your parents will be happy, but you won't and will regret not moving for a long time.
Your parents will make decisions about their life without consulting you.
My parents are in their early 50's, they live 90 miles away and if we didn't go and see them we wouldn't see them for 6 months at a time. When they have expressed their views on us going to Australia I have said OK then move nearer to us, in which their reply was 'no we like it here, why should our lives revolve around you, we have our own lives'. As I have said in a previous post we have told them we are not going, then we will tell them we are when the visas arrive. I know this is not an ideal way of doing it, I am close to my parents, but the discussions about us moving get very heated especially if they have had a few drinks, so this is the best method.
Stick with it, this is about what is best for you and your family, not everyone else.
I/we are going through exactly the same, almost word for word.
I think 'SteveBannister' nailed it on the head in his answer to dotty. You cannot change your plans to make everyone else happy. If you stay your parents will be happy, but you won't and will regret not moving for a long time.
Your parents will make decisions about their life without consulting you.
My parents are in their early 50's, they live 90 miles away and if we didn't go and see them we wouldn't see them for 6 months at a time. When they have expressed their views on us going to Australia I have said OK then move nearer to us, in which their reply was 'no we like it here, why should our lives revolve around you, we have our own lives'. As I have said in a previous post we have told them we are not going, then we will tell them we are when the visas arrive. I know this is not an ideal way of doing it, I am close to my parents, but the discussions about us moving get very heated especially if they have had a few drinks, so this is the best method.
Stick with it, this is about what is best for you and your family, not everyone else.
Oct 1st 2003, 3:10 pm
#28
Look at me kimmie
Joined: Feb 2003
Location: Land down under
Posts: 446
Its down to them now, hopefully they will be there waving you off at Heathrow in a few months time, counting the days before they can go visit you I am sure that they will be feeling just as bad as you and probably worse, so sorry it didn't work out, give it time.
