daveandsarah

Our 18 yr old can't make his mind up whether he wants to come with us or not (to Sydney Hills). He's just finished his course at college, has no job or anywhere to live or means of supporting himself.
Everyone is telling him to at least give it a go, but he 'doesn't want to leave all his mates' etc etc.

I have some sympathy with him but when we go, they won't pay his bills and he has no-one to fall back on.

Who else has been in this situation - and if you managed to get them to come with you, how have they found it ??

Would appreciate any of those teenagers in question getting in touch to give him their stories - he's not got long to make his mind up.

I also worry about him struggling to get a visa if he doesn't come with us now.

Ta in advance

Jon77

If someone had offered me the opportunity to go to Australia when I was 18 I would have packed my bags and sat in the car ready to go! Or maybe not, looking back I am not sure I knew what I wanted back then.

Teenagers being teenagers are all unpredictable of course. Is there a girlfriend on the scene? This can make the difference often.

When you are 18 your mates / girlfriend seem like the most important thing in your life, more so than family at that age. I know when I was 18 I used my parents house as a hotel between the hours of 2am and 11am, I was out at all other times and hardly ever seen them!

I guess you could give an ultimatum and say that if you want to stay then you have to find yourself a job / means of supporting yourself, no easy task these days!

It is a difficult one though, I would be sympathetic to his situation though as the bond between teenage mates can be very strong , hope it works out for you

Bermudashorts

I haven't had this experience, but I read BE a lot and have defintiely lost count of the number of sulky teenagers who decide not to come and then change their mind as soon as the family moves over .... well within 6 months or so anyway.

So if you all had PR visas, then I would say make sure he validates, leave him and let him come to you when he is ready.

But it sounds like you do not have PR visas? Are you going on a 457 visa? You are right to worry about him struggling to get a visa if he doesn't come with you now, but difficult to comment without knowing what visa the rest of you are on.

Kooky.

If he's 18 does he qualify as a dependant on a 457? I don't know the answer, just thought it worth mentioning.

Have to be honest, I don't think any 18 year-old would be inspired by living in the Hills, but agree with Bermudashorts - persuade him that, if he can get a visa now, he'd be a fool not to do so and leave the door open for later on.

rozellem

You are right, when you are 18 your world revolves around your mates. We have the same issue with nieces that live up on the Sunshine coast (in bogan central), where your prospects are either falling pregnant or working at Red Rooster (until you fall pregnant). We offer them work and a place to stay in Sydney when they finish school. And you would think anyone would jump at the opportunity, NOT SO. They all tell me about how important their mates are to them bla bla bla. I make a point of telling them with exactly how many mates from school I am in contact with (and from what I hear from people I am more connected than most) and the fact that my husband does not hear from anybody he was in school with, he would trip over one and not know. And funny enough, the first time they go back visiting, they all remark how stuck in a rut the mates are, and what losers, frozen in time. Anyway, that is just our experience. Good luck, hope he does come.

Dreamy

When we renewed our 457, EldestChild was 18 - we had to show he was still dependant on us for everything (he was still in High School, so it wasn't too hard) but when we got the visas through, his was only valid until the eve of his 21st birthday.

When we obtained PR last year we again had to demonstrate he was totally reliant on us - it gets harder the older they are, as you have to justify why they haven't got off their arses and found a job, especially if they haven't started Uni (he was starting second semester, hopefully after we'd got our PR granted so he wouldn't be on International fees). We'd moved states not long before the PR application, so we kind of used that as the reason why he hadn't started Uni in the February (it was part of the reason, to be fair) and it all worked out for us, but it is more difficult if you have older teenagers!

canadaeh

And what do a lot of people that age and in that situation in the UK do? They get a year working holiday visa to Australia.

Why doesn't he do the usual thing and head out for a year working holiday with a bunch of his mates... by the end of the year/2 years when it's over he'll see what it's really like and I bet he'll want to stay while his mates head home when their visa runs out (he can stay assuming he came on your visa and depending what your visa is) but you know what I mean.

Just a thought.