demigrate

Hi All,

Just wanted to ask how are stay at home dads perceived in Oz?

I've been looking after my 20 month old son for the last year while my wife works. I absolutely love doing it and although I read in the papers here in the UK that there are more and more men doing it, I don't see this reflected in the number of men attending the play groups I run or attend.

How popular is the stay at home dad in Oz? For those of you in Oz with toddlers, do you have many men in the play groups?

Darren

Ozzidoc

It's not that common. My best mate's hubby was a stay at home dad in Melbourne - worked fabulously for them....it's also what we intend to do.

biggy

Put it this way mate......if its not big in Oz then who cares....if it works for you guys then good on ya......u might just start a new trend.....Best of luck in your new life

demigrate

Believe you me, I'm really not bothered whether it's popular or not. Not many guys get to do it and I feel lucky that I get the opportunity to do it.

However one downside is that sometimes other men get jealous of you spending a lot of time with their wives or girlfriends. Also you sometimes miss male company so it's always good to have other men in the same situation.

diddy

The bloke in work is taking 6 months off to spend with his kids. This is quite rare but no one really thinks anything of it.

Good on him. Alot of Dad's just don't get that sort of opportunity when the kids are young.

Paul.

Amazulu

Glad you enjoy it, personally I couldn't think of anything worse. I love my son with everything I have & spend loads of quality time with him but i hate the mundane side of raising him & would rather leave that side of things to my wife who is much better at it than me!

BenandPam

We are going to be in this position when Pam goes back to work in May. I have been trying to get a couple of businesses started, but they are not in a position to support us, whereas Pam's salary does easily. I really don't want our 3.5 month old daughter going into childcare for some time, so it makes sense for me to look after her. I don't imagine it will be easy all the time, and I will have times where I miss grown-up conversation, but as long as I get to play golf at the weekend, I can survive. I am really looking forward to spending the time with Jessica, which I know will make it all worthwhile

ljj

Yeah here in Melbourne I know of quite a few. They are normally quite popular with all the mums who go to toddler groups!!

A lot of dad's can also 'work from home' on certain days and go in for Kindy duty etc.

Good on ya.

Louise

NickyP

The playgroups that I have taken Maggie to each had several Dads there with their kids. Some worked shifts and some stayed at home while their wives worked. Noone questioned it at all, some Dad's just came along and others were involved in helping to run the groups.
Good luck to you, we considered it, but I can't earn enough to keep us whereas Ian can so I am waiting for them to all be at school before I go back to work.
Nicky

demigrate

I definitely find that the men who go are very popular at the groups. As you are normally in the minority at the groups when you first go you are always noticed and women will approach you, but new women to the group are sometimes not noticed and sit on the side just with their child for a few weeks.

We made the decision to do it not for financial reasons (we both earned the same) but for the fact that my wife prefers male friends (she's an engineer) and I prefer having female friends. Both of us add to our sons development in different ways and it works. I hate the cleaning side of things but it has to be done.

helinuk

I have a family friend in Melbourne who has been at home with their 3 children for a good number of years. (from when they were 3,5,7yrs old.) The wife enjoys her job and the husband has enjoyed being with the children. He said the mothers at playgroup/school didn't invite him to coffee mornings and his male friends dropped him when he stopped going out to work!
He has outside interests that keep him sane.

Do what is right for you and the family.

a friend is non- judgemental, affirming and does not ridicule you.
good luck in OZ
Helinuk

demigrate

My wife went a few times to the coffee mornings and said that she found them dull and the other mothers were either gossiping about the other members of playgroup they attended or talking babies. I have never been invited to one of the coffee mornings but am really not bothered to go to one. I have developed good friendships with about half a dozen of the women. I believe that many of these women have developed friendships with the men in the group as the guys tend not to centre conversation around their children. Possibly a breath of fresh air.

I have never felt like an outsider but it did take a bit of effort at the start. It's really what you make of it yourself. If you sit in the corner doing your own thing then very few people will make the effort to approach you. The same applies though at work.

We're moving to Melbourne, hopefully in July or next Jan, and I know I have to start the process all over again. I'm looking forward to the challenge

Welshie

Awww us mums love to see househusbands out with their kids...my hubby says he gets chatted up all the time!! he loves it!

I've only been here a month so can't really comment on home dads here.

Welshie

Oh I agree. Those coffee mornings are bloody awful!! I tend not to socialise with women who just want to talk about how great their kids are and what stage of their developmemt they are at. Its too boring.

Gimme long day creche facilities and a beer anyday!!

Boomerang

I'll be doing it (house husband duties ) when i get to Oz at the end of the year mind you the little one is @ pre-school now so i can fit a part-time and study in between

Biggy i think the trend has started in a general way and not Oz in specific you see the roles changing in todays society