The opinions in this thread are those of my wife Donna.

I totally disagree with her social worker ideals attitude to life.

Thats me not being spoken to for a week. :D :D

I reckon we need to beat the little sh*ts and send them back up the chimney. :p

So as a Child Protection Social Worker, how would YOU discipline YOUR children???

Wow, I seem to have touched a sore spot with some people.

I have to say I agree with most of the opinions stated. I believe the occasional smack for younger children can be productive, as reasoning will often not work. However in the majority of cases a smack is not needed.

I remember my mum smacking me when I was a kid. It never physically hurt but my mum always made it clear how upset she was at having to smack me - and her being upset made me regret what I had done.

Hi Donna

like you i am in the buisness of child protection, and i totaly agree with what you say, although there are many in my team that disagree! and i may not of agreed with you many years ago!
Having 5 children of my own, and on some occassions being a lone parent, i can remember the times when smacking children and in many cases beating children wasn't an issue (1980's) it was almost the "norm" as many of us were smacked as kids ourselves, and were told "its for your own good". i admit when my older children were very young (1980's) i had occassionaly smacked them and i used to feel so bad and a failure as a parent.
As child abuse became more highlighted in the media and there were more parent support groups available, i began to see that when i did smack it was mainly down to my own frustration and not necessarily down to the children's bad behaviour. that is where the danger lies, to smack in anger is not a "reasonable" form of disapline, it is a way of venting off one's own anger.
i can be honest in saying that my 3 younger children (7, 12 and 14) have never been "smacked" and if anything they are are more "manageable and less confrontational" than my eldest 2 (18 and 20) ever were!
any way the debate goes on and on and on....


cheers
ellen
:)

I'm with you on this one Donna.

I don't think that banning smacking is pc, just sensible.

Rosy, don't start her off, I had it in the ear last night. :)

Chris

Top Thread!


I have a 5 year old and he has been smacked occasionally. There are only three occasions when this happens.

1. He is doing something dangerous.
2. He has hurt my wife (she has athritis and is in great pain if hit which he is well area of).
3. When I lose my temper. I have to be honest and say it does happen, I'd be diluting the thread if I didn't admit it. God knows I'm never been so ashamed of myself when I do lose it!

Don't get me wrong, he's a great kid (absolutely no trouble on the three long Aussie flights he's done) it's just that he couldn't accept reasoning when he was younger. I honestly believe that a single light smack has done some good.

Having said all that, I'm all for the new legislation. Why?, well hopefully we are all reasonable parents who can find alternatives, so if we have to bear a constraint to prevent serious abuse of other kids, then it gets my support 100%.

The law may based on the usual kind of PC cr*p but this one might help.

Just my personal thoughts.

Have a good day

Nick

Why welcome legislation that is yet more intrusion into your life? Why welcome interferance into the way you raise your kids? Do you all want the "Nanny State" to tell you what to do in every aspect of your lives? Take responsibility for your own actions for goodness sake.

To repeat: If parents are abusing their kids then there is already a law to deal with that.

Because clearly that law has been difficult to enforce. A clear and simple piece of legislation banning the hitting of kids reduces the likelihood of abuse being passed on as discipline.

There are a great many other aspects of law that represent the "Nanny State" but this law may just have some real benefit.

Ofcourse there is the possibility that the authorities would view every knock and scrape from the playground as signs of mistreatment. That is an issue of implementation not of principle.

I do not see the law as any significant intrusion on life or interference in the way I raise my son. On the contrary if I have to be subjected to a law which helps curb the action of a minority then fine.

Finally, for most reasonable people, this does *not* constitute a refusal of responsibility.

If you had bothered to read and actually comprehend my post you would have understood that I would hope the law reduces abuse on kids. Within reason, anything that does that is a good thing.

Anyway you are entitled to your opinion and this is mine.

Nick

So if I'm reading this right you're saying that to those parents that do smack, but in a controlled manner, ie not in anger and not too hard etc., they should accept a law that they don't agree with to protect children from the minority of parents who are abusive. Maybe you are right because as you say "anything that does that (reduces abuse on kids) is a good thing."

However a law which bans smacking outright will lead to many 'innocent' parents being branded child beaters. What is required is a proper enforcement of existing laws. How many times have you heard of children being repeatedly abused under the very noses of social workers, from known 'high risk' parents?

I believe any parent capable of child abuse will not mend their ways just because a new law has been bought in. You can have as many new laws as you like, but what counts is enforcement.

For the record, I have four children whom I believe are well balanced, having been bought up knowing that if they do something really bad they will get a smack.

"Because clearly that law has been difficult to enforce... "

Then clearly any new law regarding hitting is going to be even harder to enforce. Where's the logic?

"Anyway you are entitled to your opinion and this is mine."

His Nibbs is far too gracious.

Donna, a child is a young human being raised. Smacking your child, as a way of teaching him or her certain ways of behaving, is hardly the same as one adult hitting another. Laws don't apply equally to adults and children. Do you expect them to? Perhaps automatic life imprisonment for the Jamie Bulger murderers (some would no doubt want that) or light prison sentences for children found breaking and entering, or stealing? In other cultures maybe they should cut off the hands of children found thieving?

It is perfectly natural for adult animals to admonish their young from time to time. It's unnatural to prevent them doing it.

If you worked in junior schools, you'd realise very quickly that discipline is a lost art, to the detriment of everyone.

I agree. You smack a kid because pain will register - perhaps talking won't - you expect an adult to be more receptive to reasoning and persuasion.

I'm with you on this one Chippy. Most of the high profile child abuse deaths in the media have been caused by abusers know to the authorities! And no one who abuses will stop because some law is past (it doesn't stop child sex offenders).

I was smacked as a child, only ever as a last resort, and i am a very well balanced law abidding citizen. You cannot reason with a temper tantrum throwing 4 year old, as much as some people like to think you can!

99% of British parents know how to administer a quick smack and I believe this is relatively harmless to a child. Unfortunately yet again the masses will be affected by the few who choose to abuse basic guidelines.

If the rule came in the only people that would stop smacking their kids, would be 'normal' law abiding people. Do you honestly think a child abuser is going to stop because it is against the law??

Nothing will stop the people that go over the edge. And I bet they will not be the ones that end up being sufficiently punished. I can see the miscarriages of justice now. Walking round Sainsburys Mum gives a quick smack and ends up in court!
Child abuser whips their child at home behind closed doors, so nothing happens. Does that sound fair?

As a person who works with children, I am actually appalled at the fact that a child now has more rights than an adult. No wonder the discipline has gone to pot in this country.

Through schools in the land you hear bullies saying 'I'll report you for touching me' to teachers that are trying to restrain athem from attacking an innocent child.

All the problems schools have at the moment come down to one thing, lack of power. Even the bully has more rights than the victim. How sad is that.

I find this law an insult to every reasonable parent in the country.
It will not stop a single case of child abuse, just make life harder for the rest of us.

Tina