Cheetah7

I ask this because when I told some distant friends our plans, bearing in mind I only see them once a year, they said 'Right, can we come and see you?'

'Yes, thats fine but you wont be able to stay with me, I can find you cheap accommodation, but you must understand we will be working and will be leading our normal lives and to have visitors staying and using an apartment as a holiday let is not a good idea'

To this she replied 'Oh dont worry if you only have a 1 bedroom, we can sleep on the floor'

Now when my family said they will come out, they want to hire their own accommodation to come and go as they please.

Where do you draw the line with visitors? Lets face it, they wont come for a week and whilst we need to appreciate that they are on holiday and will want to eat, drink and be merry, and do their thing, they too must appreciate that this is your life, you will be working, coming home and resting.

I think relationships and friendships can go drastically wrong when someone takes it upon themselves to invite themselves to your house and treat it like a holiday let.

And it especially annoys me when people you barely talk to invite themselves when in fact, they never bothered you in the first place.

Do any of you have ground rules of what you will and wont put up with or any horror stories?

Or do you think you should put up and shut up when it comes to holiday guests and feel grateful they have come to see you (or not as the case may be).

Interested to hear opinions.

(Ive set my ground rules)

Wendy

The only people who will be coming to see us are my son, my brother and my MIL.

My son will stay with us, without a doubt, he has no choice.

My brother will also stay with us as he hasn't got a lot of money and will probably only be able to afford to come once every 2 - 3 years, he won't be able to get much time off work so won't be staying long anyway.

My MIL has said she will come every year for 2 weeks, but wants to stay in a hotel or holiday acommodation. She has said that she will come in the school holidays and let the kids stay with her.

Everyone else will NOT be told where we live

I do not have any really close friends as my Mum was my best friend, so I only have acquaintances now, so that's not a problem. The hubby, well he likes his own company. The kids don't really have any good mates either, well not the kind we want to be inviting on holidays anyway

Dorothy

Years ago, when my daughter was a newborn, OH and I lived about 3000 miles from home in a small 2 bedroom apt in the mountains. People we hadn't heard from in ages wanted to come out for a free holiday. We very politely told them that we had a list of comfortable yet affordable accomodations nearby and to let us know where they intended to stay so we could be sure there was availability. Mind this was before the days of quick internet access to hotels and the like, but they got the message loud and clear. Strangely enough, they didn't end up visiting

Cheetah7

I am amazed at how many people have invited themselves over.

I wouldnt dream of it.

You could say 'Of course you can come, but we have a no alcohol, no smoking and doors locked at 8pm policy'

See how far that gets them.

Some people take the piss.

Buzzy--Bee

We are considering buying a house with a separate annex that we can let commercially.... guess where the visitors will be booking in to....

Cheers

Buzzy

Cheetah7

Oh I remember from ages ago, there was this woman who wanted to emigrate but her FIL refused to move out of the house and let them go.

I wonder how she got on?

Isnt it shocking the control some people have over their families?

Cheetah7

I think Donna (madsad) had a cracking guest story to tell.

Would put you off for life

Wendy

Yes, I would have been sent down for murder had it been me

webgum

This thread has made me smile.

In the UK, we moved from London to Shrewsbury, and over the four years we were there, we felt like we'd become the B&B of preference for all our London friends, and "acquaintances". We were also struggling to renovate the house, and in those four years, I think I can count on less then two hands, the number of weekends when we weren't hosting, or renovating (or visiting others).

I worked part time, and it felt like my days off (Thursdays and Fridays) were just gearing up to getting the house ready for the next guests. Most of the time this was OK, as the majority were invited guests, and it was only for the weekend, but there were a few piss takers there. Not helped by my gregarious husband, who'd invite a stranger for the weekend if he felt they needed a break.|"" Cost a fortune in food and booze!

So now we are in Perth, and renting. No renovations, and few guests, but those who come could be staying for weeks at at time........

So far, it's only been my best friend, and family, and both have offered to stay else where, although I've wanted them to stay with us, as we have the space. BUT, if any of the others who are emailing, suddenly come up with the flights, I will be giving them holiday accommodation ideas. DEFINATELY. Ironically, we rented a house that was big enough for those coming over, but I can now see that it may have been a mistake.

Only one salary, and a need for 'space' tells me that a weekend is OK, anything more is too much.

My answer - I'm doing Homestay, and have a Japanese student in the spare room, so no room for guests!!

Whoops, a bit of a ramble.

belleandscone

One of the girls from work (insidently the one who persuaded me to take the leap and emigrate!!!!) moved to Melbourne last June. Well two women from work invited themselves to stay at her house for a week :scared: , they didnt know her that well as she always did night shift and they do days, but Mharie was so sociable anyway, the thing is I get on with nearly everyone at work but these two are hard to get through a 12 hour shift with never mind to stay for a week. I really felt sorry for her, but they seemed to have a whale of a time. I wouldnt have the neck to expect someone to put me up, family yes at a push, but I like my own space.
Clairex

movetoperth

I had my parents for 9 weeks 2 christmases a go and vowed no one would stay from more than 2 weeks again, then the inlaws announced that they were coning for 8 this christmas...... once again the resolution has been passed that its a 2 week max. As for friends, real friends will feel as you do, it will be nice to see you but not stay with you, or if they do not for more than a week or so then do their own thing for the rest of the time. As for the rest of the free loaders, if you don't see them now then don't even entertain the though of them coming half way round the world to land on your doorstep and bleed you dry. Even if you have plenty space it will still lead to bad feeling and the desire to wring someones neck.

Either suggest they stay somewhere else so they can do their own thing and you can all have your own space, so you dont ruin their holiday with your work hours etc... or tell a porky and say you are fully booked up when they want to come

Lynn

iPom

I totally agree with this. No matter how close you are to family, having them live with you for weeks at a time is stressful and doesn't lead to good relations.

We are planning on either building a house which has a 'studio' in the garden for guests which we can use as an office when no-one's there, or having a separate annex on the house. If we see the ideal house, then we'll buy that instead, but I think having separate accomodation for people is essential.

I am happy to have people for a couple of weeks, but we'll be at work, the kids will be at school and our lives can't be put on hold for visitors... I wouldn't expect them to stay wiht us for more than that anyway - I'd want to know what they were going to see whilst in Australia.
I'll be blowed if my mother's goiing to come half way around the world and sit watching day time television in my lounge when there's a country to explore outside.

Keith&Lol

We are in the same boat only my brother,SIL and MIL will be visiting, the MIL will stay with other friends for a few days at a time and probably have the kids for a few days in a seperate rental. Probably won't tell anyone else where we are living, not our exact address anyway. Lol x

chris and farideh

suddenly we have friends coming out wood work, since they found out we are going to Oz, of course all of them invited themselves.
this what I have said to all these people, it has worked, I said when we sell our house we need somewhere to stay, as you want to stay with us when you come over, let us stay with you all 5 of us.
that has really shut them up , I havent had any call from any of them yet since i put my offer in.
do put the same offer to your distant family, you'll be suprise how suddenly they have nothing to say.

monkeypeaches

When I've visited Aus in the past, family members and friends have only been too happy to put us up. I have always felt a bit awkward about disrupting their lives, but we are independent and don't really require entertaining. Still, I know how hard it is to have people in your house - my sister is coming to stay at the weekend and I am having panic attacks already.

Anyway, when we get to Aus we will be happy for family and close friends to come and stay whenever they like because we have always been offered the same courtesy. This, however, does not apply to casual friends and acquaintances (who probably wouldn't fork out to come and see us anyway). We don't have that many close friends, but the ones we do have know we won't take any crap from them and vice versa. These are all people I would be happy to flat-share or holiday with.

And I can't very well say no to my parents - they are letting us move in with them for a few months before we go!

Although ask me the same question in a couple of years and I might have a different answer for you!

Rach