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Should I take the offer or no?

Should I take the offer or no?

Old Dec 3rd 2010, 12:09 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Should I take the offer or no?

Originally Posted by caliburn
All set for our move to Oz in January. Wife is fully charged up, shopping, packing...... but yesterday I got this offer of a project work in Africa for 6 months. This means postponing Oz for 6 months but it will leave me with a net savings of A$40k. Catch is that I have go alone, though I will get 2 breaks of 1 week each. Should I take the offer to the disappointment of my wife and be miserable myself living alone? This extra $ is not essential for our settlement in Oz, but hey, its not a small sum either and every bit helps moving to a new country, you never know.... if it takes long to find a job in Oz, then this may come handy.

Should I take the offer or no? Is this money worth the sacrifice for 6 more months? What would you have done?
My answer would be - don't take the offer. Regardless of whether or not the $$$ might help you when you get to Aus, for me, the $40k is too small an amount to warrant 6months away from family.

What part of Africa? Is security/safety another consideration?

I would be tempted to consider it, if it was a much higher sum of money.

Lets say that you were being offered $350k tax free for the same period. Your wife might not want you to go away for 6months, but she probably would support the move, knowing that it would provide a significant benefit for only a short term sacrifice.

However with only $40k at stake, it will be harder for your wife to appreciate the benefits and it is unlikely she'll support this decision.... potentially putting strain on your relationship.

good luck !
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Old Dec 3rd 2010, 7:02 am
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Default Re: Should I take the offer or no?

MY OH works away on various projects regularly, most years around 6-9 months at intervals. Worst case was 3 months straight without a trip home. We are a rarity in the field, we are still together.....very rare as has been mentioned.

For my part it's hard on both parties, I have felt isolated in the past living in OZ without support, 3 children demanding my time & energy, problems I couldn't share, conversations I couldn't have, issues I had to decide on my own, it is, was & will always be difficult
I am a very independant person anyway, always was & with this lifestyle always will be.
I would love for OH to be able to stay in OZ, but the nature of his industry requires him to travel, & it would be the same even if we lived in UK, so our situation is not ideal.

My advise would be to really listen to what your wife says, ask her if she'd rather stay with the original plan, if she says Yes, then don't ask another question.....just come to OZ.
If you then persist with asking about the money etc, she will feel pressured to say OK go to Africa & resent you for it.

How safe do you feel in your marriage? Think about everything you'll miss

Good luck with your decision :f ingerscrossed:
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Old Dec 3rd 2010, 9:03 am
  #18  
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Default Re: Should I take the offer or no?

Originally Posted by The Gold Gang
No, you should not take this offer - life is full of avenues and we can't take a stroll on every one of them, however tempting. This is a distraction from your plan and I think you should stick with what you are both working towards. You know what they say, as one door closes, another one opens. The sooner you find work in Oz, the better you will be in the long run. Plus your wife won't be happy if you bugger off and so, as the OP said, neither will you!
Originally Posted by asprilla
My answer would be - don't take the offer. Regardless of whether or not the $$$ might help you when you get to Aus, for me, the $40k is too small an amount to warrant 6months away from family.

What part of Africa? Is security/safety another consideration?

I would be tempted to consider it, if it was a much higher sum of money.

Lets say that you were being offered $350k tax free for the same period. Your wife might not want you to go away for 6months, but she probably would support the move, knowing that it would provide a significant benefit for only a short term sacrifice.

However with only $40k at stake, it will be harder for your wife to appreciate the benefits and it is unlikely she'll support this decision.... potentially putting strain on your relationship.

good luck !

I agree with both of these posts.

Something could go wrong esp. in Africa.

I wouldn't.
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Old Dec 4th 2010, 6:06 am
  #19  
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Default Re: Should I take the offer or no?

I think you know the answer to your own question even before putting it on this forum. You're just hoping to hear a reason why you should go and do it.
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Old Dec 4th 2010, 8:28 pm
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Default Re: Should I take the offer or no?

Originally Posted by mecheng
I think you know the answer to your own question even before putting it on this forum. You're just hoping to hear a reason why you should go and do it.
How did you figure out.....
Head says go, heart says don't...... a classic one, isn't it?
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Old Dec 4th 2010, 8:38 pm
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Default Re: Should I take the offer or no?

Originally Posted by asprilla
My answer would be - don't take the offer. Regardless of whether or not the $$$ might help you when you get to Aus, for me, the $40k is too small an amount to warrant 6months away from family.

What part of Africa? Is security/safety another consideration?

I would be tempted to consider it, if it was a much higher sum of money.

Lets say that you were being offered $350k tax free for the same period. Your wife might not want you to go away for 6months, but she probably would support the move, knowing that it would provide a significant benefit for only a short term sacrifice.

However with only $40k at stake, it will be harder for your wife to appreciate the benefits and it is unlikely she'll support this decision.... potentially putting strain on your relationship.

good luck !
Thanks. Security is not a major concern in this part of Africa, been there before. I wish somebody paid me $350k in 6 months!
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Old Dec 4th 2010, 11:58 pm
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Default Re: Should I take the offer or no?

Originally Posted by caliburn
Thanks. Security is not a major concern in this part of Africa, been there before. I wish somebody paid me $350k in 6 months!
Turn the tables for a minute, imagine if your wife was offered $40,000 to be away from you for 6 months - same deal, but she gets it instead of you - how would you feel?

6 months is a long time to be away from your family, alot can go wrong, you would be in a place where if you were unlucky enough to pick up local diseases it could have huge implications on your future - just for a small amount of money that isnt worth it.

I would stay focused and channel your energies into your original plans and not get sidetracked. And to be honest, whatever they offer is probably not worth that amount of time away from family, most things come with a price to pay.
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