should i feel guilty
 

My mom and dad came over to my house yesterday and i managed to speak to my dad about us going to australia( they did know that we are going from the start but dont talk about it at all )but he was very upset about it and that we are leaving them and its the wrong thing to do and your mom will not go over to australia he also said my brother says that i am doing the wrong thing. what should i do we are still going to go but it is so hard how things like this upset your family are there any other people going through the same thing
many thanks
Dave

Re: should i feel guilty
 

I can only give you my opinion.. 30odd years ago, my dad had the chance to go to Australia - ready made job, the lot - me and my brother were only toddlers, my mam was well up for it. My Gran went absolutely off it, and as my dad was an only child, they decided not to go. They forever regretted it, and I think they always kind of blamed my Gran for being so nowty.

You can only live your life for you, to do what is best for you and your children/wife - you can't live it for other people. I suppose you'd have to decide just how much you want this chance. The world really is a lot smaller - with the internet/webcams/cheaper phonecalls/emails etc, there's no reason why you can't have almost as full a relationship with your family as you do now.

My brother lives in Athens (yes, Im fully aware its not the other side of the world) - I think I've probably had more meaningful contact with him since he went than we did for the 34 years beforehand

But only you can decide if its worth it.

Lynne :)

Re: should i feel guilty
 

Hi Dave

My husband is going through exactly the same thing with his family. His mother refuses to discuss it, and his father keeps 'popping' in to visit and then laying the guilt on thick. Bing's sister lives in London (We are all in Aberdeenshire) and his brother lives in Bogata!! So we are the only family they have here.

I invited Bing's dad to go for a coffee with me to Starbucks and sat him down and explained everything from my point of view, and although it didn't really allay his fears that he might never see us all again, he did start to understan our reasons for wanting to go.

Baby steps might be required, gentle persuasion. See if your wife will appraoch them, sometimes, when they cant so easily make someone feel guilty, they listen to reason.

Its a tough one, good luck

Nic

Re: should i feel guilty
 

::waits for a post from Bordy:: :)

Re: should i feel guilty
 

I forgot what I said now. :o

Re: should i feel guilty
 

It was really lovely, and meaningful. (and I quite agreed with you)

Lynne :)

Re: should i feel guilty
 

If you like I can retrieve the post and paste it into this thread Bordy?

:beer:

Buzzy

Re: should i feel guilty
 

Cheers BB, after an 8 Hr shift I can't retrieve it from my grey matter.

Re: should i feel guilty
 

OK here is Bordy's misplaced post -

=============================================

If it were any of my kids doing it I'd be sad but I'd also say good on you for at least giving it a go.
Set them up with a webcam, msn & Skype, you will probably see more of them that way than you have for the last year.

Don't give in to the emotional blackmail though.

=============================================

:beer:

Buzzy

Re: should i feel guilty
 

hello all
thanks for all your words. yes it is our decision and we are all going as i see it you only have one life and its one big adventure. but it is sad to see my dads face when he is playing with the kids knowing that we are going soon and we do know that we have made the right decision..we will have to see what happens when the visa comes araarararararar looking forward to it cant wait
thanks
Dave

Re: should i feel guilty
 

Hi Dave....
My parents didnt believe at first that we would go through with the application (although it is still sat here on the table!!!) but now they know we are they have had to come around to the idea, no choice really.... But as you've met my mom you'll know that they are now happy for us and think its the best thing we could do for our kids, and thats what really matters.
At first my dad said he wouldnt be able to manage the longhaul flight but is now starting to consider it!!!!! They'll come around when they see how happy you are and once they visit there themselves they will understand your reasons for the move....... Good Luck C x :)

Re: should i feel guilty
 

Hello there
how are you all doing have you got any info on your visa yet. we have sent our police checks and i think the medicals are being sent this week i think?? we didnt get a tracking number from the doctors. so i phoned them and said that they will send a letter to us with the number when it has been sent?? i think all was good because they would have said something by now.anyways my mom and dad have only been to spain and that was last year there first time on a plane .so i dont know what they will think of a 23 hr flight o well
all the best
Dave

Re: should i feel guilty
 

Hell, no.

It's your life, isn't it? You can't live it for others.

Re: should i feel guilty
 

Our meds havent been sent off yet either had to get some additional info as there was protein in sons urine...something hes had before, sent that in now so shouldnt be long before they are sent off, but like you say they send you a letter confirming despatch to London.
Forms are here ready to go......nearly!!! We are just waiting for Hubbys Aussie passport to arrive which should be some time this week!!!! as I need the details for the forms....... then I will submit it. Police check is here done and waiting too. Could hear within as little as 2 weeks if its been granted or not!!!! OMG!!!
C x :)

Re: should i feel guilty
 

Exactly.