Should hubby go first?
 

We have a 2 year old son and I'm wondering whether hubby should go to Melbourne ahead of us so he can sort out rentals etc. This would obviously make it easier to move in with a young child rather than staying in temp accomodation first. What has everyone else done?

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

I can understand you would like everything to be right with a two year old - but my heart says would it not be more fun to do it together and have those first memories?

Even the temp accommodation might be fun...we still remember our first six weeks with the smelly sofa etc....and we laugh and have fond memories and this is from someone who thinks the whole process long term can stink.

Plan up front to enjoy what you can, be positive

Cheers

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

I would all go together, it is part of the adventure. We have such good memories of our first weeks here.

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

We had the opposite. Four weeks in a small apartment with an 17 year old boy who didn't know what he wanted to do nearly drove me insane. Also you will not have all your 'stuff' around you. Having said that I wouldn't have trusted the hubbie to have chosen the rental accommodation. I dread to think were we would have ended up :scared:

If you trust him then let him go ahead, especially if he is going to be starting work as soon as he gets there. It gives him time to settle in without worrying about you.

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

I would all go together...new start and all that....also if hubby goes first you will have to manage the flight yourself with a 2 year old.....its a long flight and better with a child if there is more than one of ya

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

Ha, I'll give you the bloke's answer! Let him go first but for god's sake don't expect anything to be done when you arrive! He'll have a hell of a hangover though!!

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

For various reasons I came out 9 weeks before my wife & son. It gave me a chance to sort out a rental, get a job, etc. It worked out well, when they arrived everything was set up for them & they eased straight into life here.

It's not all plain sailing though. I missed them like crazy. Although we agreed that it was best for me to come out first, my wife accuses me of leaving her to sort out everything in the UK whilst I was having a good time. The cheek! It wasn't helped by the fact that every time she called me I was in the pub. What was I supposed to do, sit in the house on my own every night? I must admit, I did have a good time.:)

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

I think I would have been more overwhelmed without my hubby. It was so lovely on the plane knowing that we were all going together to start a new life. It would be nice to have extra help on the plane even just for helping with all the baggage etc and to grab a little extra sleep!

Do what you think is best for you....but there is no way I would have trusted my husbands judgement on a home/area we were going to live in for 12+ months!

Good luck whatever you decide.

LJJ

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

IF you can arrive together. My husband came over a month before me, and I was left to pack all the house up in UK, say all the goodbye's on my own and fly to Perth with 5 children including 2yr old twins. A year later am still a little resentful about this ( I know I shouldn't be).

Jules

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

We have moved overseas a lot with husbands job and he has always gone first. He does the hard graft one end and I did it the other. Always worked well for us. Dragging children around car dealers, rentals, furniture shops, banks causes enough stress.

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

I kept getting texts saying he was sat at Freo eating calarmari with a nice dry white!

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

We did exactly that - I arrived 6 weeks before the rest of the family.

It was tough but definitely the best thing overall. Settled into work (could invest the time without feeling that I had to rush home to check on the family), bought a car, got a rental.

One person can be so much more flexible. Can live in really dire places until things get sorted out, can get buses before the rental car etc etc.

But it does depened on your collective mental and emotional state and I suppose whether you have things lined up for you prior to your arrival.

Re: Should hubby go first?
 

I wouldn't have wanted my hubby to go first, It was tough emotionally that last day in the UK but we were all together dealing with it. Also, I would never imagine that he could find us somewhere to live without out input and to be honest, he wouldn't be comfortable making that decision - it's too big.

Although the flight is "only" 24 hours or so, if your child plays up, the flight is delayed etc etc etc, it will seem like an eternity so if you don't have to do it alone, I wouldn't. As others have said - you are starting a new life, don't you want to do it together?