Dmartyos

Hi all

Well booked flights for early January to arrive in Sydney. It seems sereal at the moment as life is still the same but for 2 people we are having to change our life around & seems like a second life over there.

Told my family at the weekend, they knew I wanted to go over but actually telling them the visas were in & flights were booked didnt go down great.
Well everyone was supportive, parents were pretty quiet but backed up our decision as they are immigrants to the UK themselves so know reasons for change. My younger family took it badly, neices crying & really upset.

Made me feel terrible, huge heavy heart yesterday, just wanted to stay away from everyone after the high of booking it all. Now I realise the posts about telling people upsetted them so much. Next few months are going to be the hardest of my life.

My family were already talking as if I wasent there, like "you were a great brother/in law!" etc felt like Id died! There is no words to desribe it.
Also Ill have this feeling in oz when Im there & have time to think about things.

Anyway just wanted to write this down as things that stress other people dont to me anymore, doing this to my family has made me feel like a selfish b&$^%d unfortunately.

Cheers Marty

hilary6

Hi Marty,
Im sure we all feel guilty at some point, but ask yourself this is it worth staying at home, missing out on the chance a new life, just to please others and proberbly hating them for it? Would they make the same sacrifice for you?

Hilary

worzel

Hi Marty

Unfortunately we all get reactions like this, you just have to take it on the chin as the price you pay. As we are only 4 days from flying (gulp) we are getting tears all over the place now. My mum wasn't going to even come to the airport but in the end she has changed her mind as "I went to church for your brother's funeral so I can come to the airport for you". So like you say, while it feels exciting and just like a holiday to us others treat it almost like a death in the family. But I am sure once we are out there they will find ways to deal with it. Flights are easy these days and technology so common that it will be fine. Chin up!

Saundee

You might find you have more contact with them after you move.

My mother wouldnt look at a computer before we said we were going - now shes video conferencing with an MSN webcam and microphone. I remember my Dad couldnt get on a plane to go accross from Belfast to the mainland - hes in our spare room right now, out here for a visit to see his new grandchild.

I've had two cousins here since we moved in 6 months ago - one on holiday I hadnt seen in 10 years but just happend to be here on holiday.

Think of the holiday opportunities you are offering the family - they might surprise you and take you up on it.

Guilt? None - my first responsibility is to my kids and this is the best place for them to be - you have a responsibility to yourself to be happy and do everything you need to do to have the best opportunities you can afford yourself. Family are resilient, they dont need us as much as we think and we all find great ways of staying in touch - if anything its a wake up call to start finding new and innovative ways of communicating with each other.

CadburysFingers

The very hard facts of life, and reality, are you only live once, whats worse upsetting a family who will get over it, and move on, not to mention visit too, which will be worth looking forwards to, or sitting in an old peoples home in your eighties saying to yourself over and over again; if only we'd gone to Australia back in 06 when we had the chance. Not even a choice is it, when its put like that. Stick with it and be strong, its well worth it when you get here, trust me.

Vash the Stampede

It wasn't selfish to leave home when you grew up. It wasn't selfish to start your own family. It's not selfish to make your own way in the world and seek the best for your wife and kiddies.

After all, your first responsibility is to them.

CadburysFingers

Well said, we dont have any guilt either, as you say the most important members of your family are your children, and if you can offer them a life in a beautiful, safe and friendly country, then you should move heaven and earth to do so. As someone else has said you wont be able to keep them off the webcam either

Dmartyos

Your blimming right, web camera is a start, get it set up & educate them.

Thanks all for your concerns, its something that everyone here pretty much goes through , just none of my family & friends have so I have no one to express it to. The funny thing was I was in contact more with some of my family when I was away but it was me who was doing the correspondance so life goes on & your right with flights & time its no problem to travel or go home.

I still say its the hardest thing in the world to emigrate into another country/culture & hope to succeed. People that do & even return after have my fullest respect!

RReed

I don't feel guilty. I have given my children a better life (their words not mine). I'm sorry if relatives and friends feel that this is a selfish move. But, my family (husband and kids) are more important than them.

Good luck!

Rachel

mindblower

Spot on with that post cadbury fingers