second thoughts
 

I am interested in experiences of people who had second thoughts once the wheels are in motion.

We have the visas, house is on market but just as things are going smoothly, a new job offer comes up in UK and at the same time the wife and kids (10 and 5) are really close to their friends and do not want to leave.

Original plan was to be in Melbourne once house was sold.

If you can afford to, why not get out there, validate your visas and then you've got plenty of time to return and have a good think about what you really want to do. A visit might make or break your ideas about whats best for your future.

Good luck, Leigh.:)

Appreciate the idea but real issue is family unsure of move - hence would need everone to go out there to re assess the situation - this will prove expensive.

It's my understanding that you would all have to go anyway in order to validate.
I think it would be a good idea - might decide that they love Oz and really want to go having seen the place!

I am leaving in 8 weeks.

I would be lieing if i said that i did'nt have second thoughts. I am still having them at the moment, even with such a small amount of time to go.

Lets face it, this is going to be the biggest move in most peoples lives. Moving such a great distance from everything you know, and your friends and family.

My second thoughts are all concerning my family. I am not worried about work, as i know that IF we could'nt find anything in oz, which is unlikely, we can come back. However....the homesickness in terms of missing the folks etc is what i am dreading.

I am lucky in some ways, because i will have a support network out there. My inlaws, and my wifes large family will be able to give moral support, and luckily they are all very friendly and helpful.

I never really have these second thoughts for long though. I just remind myself of the things i will enjoy, that i am looking forwards to out there. Things like the fishing, the climbing, the weather. Even Susans family. I am (can't believe i am saying it) looking forward to seeing the in-laws again. Going out and playing pool with susans older brother. Going on camping trips with our aussie friends.

Being 24, I have never owned a house before....so i am relishing that opportunity. DIY here i come ;) I would like to buy a boat, somthing i could'nt do here in the UK at the moment. There is so much i am looking forward to.

It also helps that the family here is all very supportive. I have already got a handful of bookings for them to holiday in oz!

Seconds thoughts are natural, and healthy when you are making a choice that will affect the rest of your life. Reasoning will help you make the right choice.

Pete - for one so young that was a very good post!!! It just about says how I feel except I have not got the family network in Oz. Yes we are scared and we keep thinking shall we put it off for a few years? Second thoughts are natural and I am sure that we all have them.
Debs

we all have second thoughts, its normal and creeps in to everyday things like shall i go out tonight or what colour shirt should i buy.

pete hits the nail on the head with his post and i also have a family over there (in laws) near brisbane but will still get homesick and miss friends over here.

i havent even applied for my visa yet but it should only take a month or so (front loaded de facto) so when i do get it then the real doubts will creep in but we have decided to go for it and spend at least two years out there to get citizenship, after that who knows.?

:)

I have tons of family in Oz and still thoughts creep in all the time, I hate the thought of at first having no friends, not knowing where I am going, not bumping into somebody when out shopping, the usual stuff, that said I still want to go and give it a try, only you know whats best for your family, good luck.

5 weeks to go, and yes, i do have occasional second thoughts - mostly silly niggling ones. Things like how will I cope without my best mate, and wondering how homesick I will feel. I worry about whether my container will fall off the ship, and how much stuff will get broken on the way, and I worry about how long it'll take to make friends and feel at home. Although my fiance's family are all around the Brisbane area, and I've met some of his friends already, its not like having my own network of mates. I know I'm luckier than lots of people, as I do have some contacts out there already, but its the thought of building up new relationships with them thats worrying, and discovering what we actually have in common when we stop being just "polite" to each other!
Also worries me that for the first time since I left college in 1982, I won't have a job or a pay cheque at the end of the month. However determined I am to get work quick, its still quite scary.

I suppose its only natural to have second thoughts and doubts - especially as the big day gets closer - we wouldn't be himan if we didn't. People have asked me whether I'm getting pre-wedding nerves yet - I haven't even considered them yet! the pre-migration nerves are enough to be getting on with! Having made the decision to go though, and made it in a logical reasoned fashion, I know I'm doing the right thing, so however many doubts I have, I shall still go!

well I've been back a fair time and I have been trying to get back ever since.

As my family aren't that great I have no ties - and all my mates over here will come and visit. I'm the sort of bloke that gets on with everyone so I have never worried about friendships etc. I love being with strangers and family etc. Don't have to have 25 blood brothers around me all the time.

I've had a few worries - certainly not second thoughts - to do with exactly what I will be doing when I get there.

My view is, if I never went or got the visa - i would spend the rest of my life saying "Bugger".

And the funny this - they say - stop comparing Australia to Oz when people first get over there - well since I've been back - I keep COMPARING the UK to Australia - and the Uk loses EVERY time. I guess that's why I should be over there.

;-)

badge

Same here Badgers - every time I compare the two countries Australia wins (even without the rose coloured specs!). I may get the odd doubt creeping in, but if I don't go, I shall always regret it.

The more I read this forum the more I realise we are not alone in our feelings about moving out to Oz. It is reassuring to read that other people feel the same.

I think most people will have niggles or doubts about their move.

I know that when we first went to Australia 10 years ago (working holiday) we had doubts about it, but it was one of the best years of our lives.

We had doubts or worries about where to settle in the UK, but we settled, have been happy and are happy for the moment.

We have doubts about moving out and getting a visa so we have planned a long four week holiday to Oz next year just to check if we still love it before finally lodging our visa. We have skills Assessment and everything in place but want to make sure.

It is such a big decision that you are bound to have doubts or second thoughts, but you only live once. As I've said in other posts no matter what happens, whether you stay out there or come back to the UK, you will all have had an experience you will never forget and that is what living is about.

At the end of the day though you have to go with what you all feel.

Good luck

Great post Pete!

We all have doubts about whether we are doing the right thing, but it boils down to living with your decision if you don't try it.
Could you live here happily if you give up your chance to go to Oz? If so then there is no question that you should stay here. Personally I would forever be craving that I had gone and tried it.

You really should think about validating the visas. If you take the new job maybe it might be worth spending some of your new wages on the trip. After all 3 years down the line the job could become very boring and you would then still have the option to leave.

I have quick second thoughts all of the time:
Bumped into my best friend from school and she cried when I told her;
My son's friends being upset that he is leaving;
Giving up a job that I am happy in;
Leaving my mates etc;
Family getting upset.

BUT I still want to go and I know that I will get over these things!
I would not get over it if I didn't emigrate.