Second thoughts?!?!
May 5th 2003, 6:37 pm
#16
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 83
Re: Second thoughts?!?!
Originally posted by Anniexx
..Basically i think i am having them..second thoughts that is.We haven't yet started applying to go to NZ yet and i am already getting the jitters.We won't be applying for at least another year yet so we have alot of time to think about it.Thing is..we met some expats this week who have been in NZ for 6yrs now,friends of friends.They are our age and have 2 gorgeous daughters like we have.It just hit me yesterday though,when we saw them at our friends daughters christening,what a wrench it would be.They are going back on wednesday after having a 4wk holiday here(their first time back in that 6yrs)and to see them saying goodbye to their friends and family all over again,well,it had me in tears and i've only met them twice!Their were alot of emotions flying around.
I come from a very close family,3 sisters who are all married with kids and we all live within 4 miles of each other and see each other almost daily.Mum and dad also live close and at the age of 72 they live life to the full.We did initially all want to apply to go out but since we found out more about it,it turns out that one of my brother in laws is too old to apply and so is mum and dad,gutted.We have a great circle of friends,as do our children,we have a great social life too.So why would we give all that up? To go and live somewhere totally unfamiliar,where there's no-one we know,future uncertain blah blah blah.When it comes down to it,i really don't know if i could say goodbye to all that.We are really lucky at the moment.I know i run on about this country and government etc but that just runs in the family,everyone's got a moan about something haven't they?Anyway,i just had to let off some steam about this as my hubby is all up for it and can't see the problem but he hasn't got the close,supportive family that i've got and to be honest,if we did go i think i would get homesick and want to come home.We lived in Hungary once for a year and that nearly killed me! I know only we know the best thing to do but i didn't know if anyone else had had the same problem as me before.
Thanks for listening anyway..Anniexx
..Basically i think i am having them..second thoughts that is.We haven't yet started applying to go to NZ yet and i am already getting the jitters.We won't be applying for at least another year yet so we have alot of time to think about it.Thing is..we met some expats this week who have been in NZ for 6yrs now,friends of friends.They are our age and have 2 gorgeous daughters like we have.It just hit me yesterday though,when we saw them at our friends daughters christening,what a wrench it would be.They are going back on wednesday after having a 4wk holiday here(their first time back in that 6yrs)and to see them saying goodbye to their friends and family all over again,well,it had me in tears and i've only met them twice!Their were alot of emotions flying around.
I come from a very close family,3 sisters who are all married with kids and we all live within 4 miles of each other and see each other almost daily.Mum and dad also live close and at the age of 72 they live life to the full.We did initially all want to apply to go out but since we found out more about it,it turns out that one of my brother in laws is too old to apply and so is mum and dad,gutted.We have a great circle of friends,as do our children,we have a great social life too.So why would we give all that up? To go and live somewhere totally unfamiliar,where there's no-one we know,future uncertain blah blah blah.When it comes down to it,i really don't know if i could say goodbye to all that.We are really lucky at the moment.I know i run on about this country and government etc but that just runs in the family,everyone's got a moan about something haven't they?Anyway,i just had to let off some steam about this as my hubby is all up for it and can't see the problem but he hasn't got the close,supportive family that i've got and to be honest,if we did go i think i would get homesick and want to come home.We lived in Hungary once for a year and that nearly killed me! I know only we know the best thing to do but i didn't know if anyone else had had the same problem as me before.
Thanks for listening anyway..Anniexx
Its only natural to have second thoughts. As other people have suggested I would make a list of some of the pro's and con's about moving. Be truthful with yourself...ie don't put on rose-tinted glasses about your life here, of your possible life in NZ. Also be realistic about what you can expect if you emigrate, and what you hope to get out of it.
I have to be honest here and say that if you've already lived in Hungary for a year and found that hard, the sense of distance/seperation in NZ could be a whole lot worse for you. I was in Perth, and found that increasingly isolated the longer I lived there...the long and expensive flights to get anywhere, the distance...could be something similar in NZ.
Whatever you do, good luck.
May 5th 2003, 6:43 pm
#17
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Norfolk,England at the moment
Posts: 35
Originally posted by terryg
Hi Annie
Are you considering any other countries, or is it just NZ ?
Hi Annie
Are you considering any other countries, or is it just NZ ?
Nope..just Nz.We've never been there before but we're going for a months holiday (dad's treat!) next january to see if we like it.Mum and dad have been there for 3 mths every year since 1995 and they fell in love with it,that's who put the idea into our heads!?!?! 2 of my 3 sisters and families(dad's treats too..heehee!) have been too and said they would emigrate there too if they could.It's all just depending on whether we like it now as to whether we go or not.Kinda all hanging over our heads really
Anniexx
May 6th 2003, 2:38 am
#18
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2002
Location: Dream life UK....
Posts: 2,912
I'd like to say one thing and hope it does not cause a riot.
OZ and NZ are not places that pay huge wages. Families with 2/3 kids are unlikely to have the spare cash to return very often at all. Ignore the "its only a flight away", ask yourself if seriously you could afford such trips on your new wage. Most Aussies look at "The Trip" as a once in a lifetime event.
Also rellies in the Uk are often keen to come out the first year or so, they are not so keen however to keep spending that much money on trips to OZ/NZ when they have so many other cheaper choices avail to them from the UK.
If your a real family girl then ask yourself honestly if the benefits of emmigrating are enough to compensate, for what you give up.
Good luck with your decision.
OZ and NZ are not places that pay huge wages. Families with 2/3 kids are unlikely to have the spare cash to return very often at all. Ignore the "its only a flight away", ask yourself if seriously you could afford such trips on your new wage. Most Aussies look at "The Trip" as a once in a lifetime event.
Also rellies in the Uk are often keen to come out the first year or so, they are not so keen however to keep spending that much money on trips to OZ/NZ when they have so many other cheaper choices avail to them from the UK.
If your a real family girl then ask yourself honestly if the benefits of emmigrating are enough to compensate, for what you give up.
Good luck with your decision.
May 6th 2003, 5:17 pm
#19
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 100
Re: Second thoughts?!?!
Originally posted by Anniexx
..Basically i think i am having them..second thoughts that is.We haven't yet started applying to go to NZ yet and i am already getting the jitters.We won't be applying for at least another year yet so we have alot of time to think about it.Thing is..we met some expats this week who have been in NZ for 6yrs now,friends of friends.They are our age and have 2 gorgeous daughters like we have.It just hit me yesterday though,when we saw them at our friends daughters christening,what a wrench it would be.They are going back on wednesday after having a 4wk holiday here(their first time back in that 6yrs)and to see them saying goodbye to their friends and family all over again,well,it had me in tears and i've only met them twice!Their were alot of emotions flying around.
I come from a very close family,3 sisters who are all married with kids and we all live within 4 miles of each other and see each other almost daily.Mum and dad also live close and at the age of 72 they live life to the full.We did initially all want to apply to go out but since we found out more about it,it turns out that one of my brother in laws is too old to apply and so is mum and dad,gutted.We have a great circle of friends,as do our children,we have a great social life too.So why would we give all that up? To go and live somewhere totally unfamiliar,where there's no-one we know,future uncertain blah blah blah.When it comes down to it,i really don't know if i could say goodbye to all that.We are really lucky at the moment.I know i run on about this country and government etc but that just runs in the family,everyone's got a moan about something haven't they?Anyway,i just had to let off some steam about this as my hubby is all up for it and can't see the problem but he hasn't got the close,supportive family that i've got and to be honest,if we did go i think i would get homesick and want to come home.We lived in Hungary once for a year and that nearly killed me! I know only we know the best thing to do but i didn't know if anyone else had had the same problem as me before.
Thanks for listening anyway..Anniexx
..Basically i think i am having them..second thoughts that is.We haven't yet started applying to go to NZ yet and i am already getting the jitters.We won't be applying for at least another year yet so we have alot of time to think about it.Thing is..we met some expats this week who have been in NZ for 6yrs now,friends of friends.They are our age and have 2 gorgeous daughters like we have.It just hit me yesterday though,when we saw them at our friends daughters christening,what a wrench it would be.They are going back on wednesday after having a 4wk holiday here(their first time back in that 6yrs)and to see them saying goodbye to their friends and family all over again,well,it had me in tears and i've only met them twice!Their were alot of emotions flying around.
I come from a very close family,3 sisters who are all married with kids and we all live within 4 miles of each other and see each other almost daily.Mum and dad also live close and at the age of 72 they live life to the full.We did initially all want to apply to go out but since we found out more about it,it turns out that one of my brother in laws is too old to apply and so is mum and dad,gutted.We have a great circle of friends,as do our children,we have a great social life too.So why would we give all that up? To go and live somewhere totally unfamiliar,where there's no-one we know,future uncertain blah blah blah.When it comes down to it,i really don't know if i could say goodbye to all that.We are really lucky at the moment.I know i run on about this country and government etc but that just runs in the family,everyone's got a moan about something haven't they?Anyway,i just had to let off some steam about this as my hubby is all up for it and can't see the problem but he hasn't got the close,supportive family that i've got and to be honest,if we did go i think i would get homesick and want to come home.We lived in Hungary once for a year and that nearly killed me! I know only we know the best thing to do but i didn't know if anyone else had had the same problem as me before.
Thanks for listening anyway..Anniexx
Just think about what you and your husband want to do, very hard...it is a big step after all.
Good luck!
May 6th 2003, 7:59 pm
#20
Banned
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,613
Originally posted by dotty
I'd like to say one thing and hope it does not cause a riot.
OZ and NZ are not places that pay huge wages. Families with 2/3 kids are unlikely to have the spare cash to return very often at all. Ignore the "its only a flight away", ask yourself if seriously you could afford such trips on your new wage. Most Aussies look at "The Trip" as a once in a lifetime event.
Also rellies in the Uk are often keen to come out the first year or so, they are not so keen however to keep spending that much money on trips to OZ/NZ when they have so many other cheaper choices avail to them from the UK.
If your a real family girl then ask yourself honestly if the benefits of emmigrating are enough to compensate, for what you give up.
Good luck with your decision.
I'd like to say one thing and hope it does not cause a riot.
OZ and NZ are not places that pay huge wages. Families with 2/3 kids are unlikely to have the spare cash to return very often at all. Ignore the "its only a flight away", ask yourself if seriously you could afford such trips on your new wage. Most Aussies look at "The Trip" as a once in a lifetime event.
Also rellies in the Uk are often keen to come out the first year or so, they are not so keen however to keep spending that much money on trips to OZ/NZ when they have so many other cheaper choices avail to them from the UK.
If your a real family girl then ask yourself honestly if the benefits of emmigrating are enough to compensate, for what you give up.
Good luck with your decision.
Cheers - Don
May 7th 2003, 4:12 am
#21
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Hawkes Bay
Posts: 359
Likewise moving to NZ and have considered the negatives of the move. Couldn't have done it in my twenties as I enjoyed alot of the big city things that London and the UK offered. However at forty prefer the benefits of NZ over UK, rarely visit cities, enjoy the countryside, have already travelled extensively etc.
An argument that was current is that when you leave you can't get back on the housing market again. However in view of the stagnation of the UK market and upward move in NZ prices this is no longer such an issue. You would be able to move back. Put some money by from your house sale for contingencies.
Look at it one way. When you get to your parents age you won't have to ask yourself - if only..! if you do it. We only get one chance at this life, it's short enough without worrying about lost opportunies.
Good luck.
An argument that was current is that when you leave you can't get back on the housing market again. However in view of the stagnation of the UK market and upward move in NZ prices this is no longer such an issue. You would be able to move back. Put some money by from your house sale for contingencies.
Look at it one way. When you get to your parents age you won't have to ask yourself - if only..! if you do it. We only get one chance at this life, it's short enough without worrying about lost opportunies.
Good luck.
May 7th 2003, 5:27 am
#22
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 875
Truthfully you seem to have everything you want where you are now so why even consider moving. If you are that close to your family it is unlikely moving to NZ is going to bring you much joy as the homesickness will overwhelm any pleasure you will get. It is a long way away, and flights aren't cheap, so given your circumstances you need to seriously ask why you are even considering applying? Sounds like you might be trying to live someone else's dream by going to live in NZ.
Good luck with your decision. Remember not going doesn't make you a failure, it just means it's not the right decision for yourself.
Good luck with your decision. Remember not going doesn't make you a failure, it just means it's not the right decision for yourself.
