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School Bullies. Anyone else?

School Bullies. Anyone else?

Old Mar 19th 2005, 4:44 am
  #1  
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Default School Bullies. Anyone else?

This might shock some on this site especially those on their way or just arrived.

We put my son into a local (Melbourne SE) private school after looking around to find the right one. His behaviour has deteriorated since he started the new school term here in January he has become very loud, shouting and screaming at us, yelling, being really defiant, verbally aggressive, hitting us, losing his temper, being moody, has had lots of pent up anger and rage really emotional very aggressive with his toys etc. Basically his character has changed completely. He has become a nightmare to live with especially as he is so strong. He is the weight of a ten year old and comes up to my nose
height wise and he isn't 7 until July. At first I thought his testosterone
was kicking in, but he kept telling me he didn't like the children in his
class and that they were unkind, didn't talk to him and were horrible, he
said they nipped him, called him names and took his things. A lot of things
he has just kept to himself and not disclosed . I knew from his behavior
that he was being bullied, but not to the extent that it was happening all
the time by a gang of children. Poor child. Turns out that he has been
getting nipped all the time by the children in this gang on his table, the
children have to move around regularly but four children were involved so
where ever the teacher put him he was getting nipped all the time. The
children haven't been talking to him except to call him names throw his
things over the fence and be generally horrible to him. Our son's an ideal
target because although he is huge and very strong he is quiet and won't
tell the teacher he doesn't have the confidence plus he won't fight back
because I have always taught him not to hit etc. In the play ground the four
children have been ganging up to jump on him to hit him etc. My alarm bells
really started ringing when we went to a childrens birthday pool party.
Our son was swimming on his own and the children were all ignoring him when
one of the girls near me said to one of the boys "shall we go and kill
him"? I was so shocked, sorry that's not normal. At a recent party in a
soft play area I went to see what the interaction was and the group dynamics within 2 mins of arriving he had been kicked in the head for no reason had things thrown at him really nastily for no reason and had a child almost come up behind him on the equipment pulled himself up to Richard by grabbing his shorts nearly ripping them off. The Head is involved now and the
school counsellors to help him cope with the bullying, but as I said to the
Head he shouldn't have to cope with it from what I've seen its not just a
bit of rough horse play. The Head was fairly sympathetic until I
told her if there was any more I would remove him from the school as I
didn't want him mixing with children like that . Honestly, you pay all that
money for your child to go to school to get beaten up. I really feel that my gut reaction is to take him out, but he has had so many changes in his life already plus the education is good and suits him plus he likes the teachers. Maybe I should give the school time to sort it. The school have also suggested family counselling. Well if I didnt need it before, I do now.
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 4:51 am
  #2  
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Wow. I think that school needs to re-assess itself.
A local school to us is the exact opposite. One child got pushed against a wall, and the deputy principal asked the three children involved (all year 3), with Parents, to a meeting to point out that behaviour like that is not tolerated.
And expulsion was the next step if it happened again.
 
Old Mar 19th 2005, 5:13 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Originally Posted by slimdonnybabe
This might shock some on this site especially those on their way or just arrived.

We put my son into a local (Melbourne SE) private school after looking around to find the right one. His behaviour has deteriorated since he started the new school term here in January he has become very loud, shouting and screaming at us, yelling, being really defiant, verbally aggressive, hitting us, losing his temper, being moody, has had lots of pent up anger and rage really emotional very aggressive with his toys etc. Basically his character has changed completely. He has become a nightmare to live with especially as he is so strong. He is the weight of a ten year old and comes up to my nose
height wise and he isn't 7 until July. At first I thought his testosterone
was kicking in, but he kept telling me he didn't like the children in his
class and that they were unkind, didn't talk to him and were horrible, he
said they nipped him, called him names and took his things. A lot of things
he has just kept to himself and not disclosed . I knew from his behavior
that he was being bullied, but not to the extent that it was happening all
the time by a gang of children. Poor child. Turns out that he has been
getting nipped all the time by the children in this gang on his table, the
children have to move around regularly but four children were involved so
where ever the teacher put him he was getting nipped all the time. The
children haven't been talking to him except to call him names throw his
things over the fence and be generally horrible to him. Our son's an ideal
target because although he is huge and very strong he is quiet and won't
tell the teacher he doesn't have the confidence plus he won't fight back
because I have always taught him not to hit etc. In the play ground the four
children have been ganging up to jump on him to hit him etc. My alarm bells
really started ringing when we went to a childrens birthday pool party.
Our son was swimming on his own and the children were all ignoring him when
one of the girls near me said to one of the boys "shall we go and kill
him"? I was so shocked, sorry that's not normal. At a recent party in a
soft play area I went to see what the interaction was and the group dynamics within 2 mins of arriving he had been kicked in the head for no reason had things thrown at him really nastily for no reason and had a child almost come up behind him on the equipment pulled himself up to Richard by grabbing his shorts nearly ripping them off. The Head is involved now and the
school counsellors to help him cope with the bullying, but as I said to the
Head he shouldn't have to cope with it from what I've seen its not just a
bit of rough horse play. The Head was fairly sympathetic until I
told her if there was any more I would remove him from the school as I
didn't want him mixing with children like that . Honestly, you pay all that
money for your child to go to school to get beaten up. I really feel that my gut reaction is to take him out, but he has had so many changes in his life already plus the education is good and suits him plus he likes the teachers. Maybe I should give the school time to sort it. The school have also suggested family counselling. Well if I didnt need it before, I do now.
I relly feel for you and know exactly how you feel.My son was bullied at school in England since the age of five he is exactly like your son.He is now 16 and one of the reasons we emigrated was to try and give him a better quality of life.My son has com home with a broken nose cigarette burns bruises and broken ribs.The school in England did nothing.He is now at a school in the western suburbs and loves it he has a spring in his step and is always out with friends.
We also told our Son not to fight back but tell the teacher this only made matters worse for him and although you may think it wrong encourage your son to hit back if he is hit first.This is aterrible thing to say but My son adopted this strategy inAustralia and has won him friends.Yes he was bullied at first but by sticking up for himself no longer suffers any abuse.
One of the things that we told him was that nobody knew him out here and that he had an oppurtunity to star again.
I know my son is older but believe me we have really been through some heart rending times and anger was always there.
If I was you whilst you still have the oppurtunity may I suggest a change of Schools maybe what your Son needs afterall he may like his teacher and the Education good but what price to pay for a happy child.
All the best and I hope this may help
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 5:17 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Originally Posted by spondyatwood
I relly feel for you and know exactly how you feel.My son was bullied at school in England since the age of five he is exactly like your son.He is now 16 and one of the reasons we emigrated was to try and give him a better quality of life.My son has com home with a broken nose cigarette burns bruises and broken ribs.The school in England did nothing.He is now at a school in the western suburbs and loves it he has a spring in his step and is always out with friends.
We also told our Son not to fight back but tell the teacher this only made matters worse for him and although you may think it wrong encourage your son to hit back if he is hit first.This is aterrible thing to say but My son adopted this strategy inAustralia and has won him friends.Yes he was bullied at first but by sticking up for himself no longer suffers any abuse.
One of the things that we told him was that nobody knew him out here and that he had an oppurtunity to star again.
I know my son is older but believe me we have really been through some heart rending times and anger was always there.
If I was you whilst you still have the oppurtunity may I suggest a change of Schools maybe what your Son needs afterall he may like his teacher and the Education good but what price to pay for a happy child.
All the best and I hope this may help
By the way I take it from your name you are originally from Doncaster Sth Yorks we are originall from Rotherham
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 5:32 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Originally Posted by spondyatwood
By the way I take it from your name you are originally from Doncaster Sth Yorks we are originall from Rotherham
Hi spondyatwood,

Yeah we are from Bessacarr in Doncaster. Used to travel to Clifton Park in Rotherham all the time, because the kids play area there is just the best. How are you liking it here?
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 5:38 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Originally Posted by slimdonnybabe
Hi spondyatwood,

Yeah we are from Bessacarr in Doncaster. Used to travel to Clifton Park in Rotherham all the time, because the kids play area there is just the best. How are you liking it here?
I love it and so does my Son My wife misses friends more than me but we have only been here 6 months so are still new.

We lived in a village just off the M18 Thurcroft if you know it.

How long have you been here yourself.
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 6:34 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

l think the best thing to do is move him to a different school where hopefully the kids won't be as bad.
 
Old Mar 19th 2005, 6:58 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Originally Posted by spondyatwood
I relly feel for you and know exactly how you feel.My son was bullied at school in England since the age of five he is exactly like your son.He is now 16 and one of the reasons we emigrated was to try and give him a better quality of life.My son has com home with a broken nose cigarette burns bruises and broken ribs.The school in England did nothing.He is now at a school in the western suburbs and loves it he has a spring in his step and is always out with friends.
We also told our Son not to fight back but tell the teacher this only made matters worse for him and although you may think it wrong encourage your son to hit back if he is hit first.This is aterrible thing to say but My son adopted this strategy inAustralia and has won him friends.Yes he was bullied at first but by sticking up for himself no longer suffers any abuse.
One of the things that we told him was that nobody knew him out here and that he had an oppurtunity to star again.
I know my son is older but believe me we have really been through some heart rending times and anger was always there.
If I was you whilst you still have the oppurtunity may I suggest a change of Schools maybe what your Son needs afterall he may like his teacher and the Education good but what price to pay for a happy child.
All the best and I hope this may help
I have to say I agree with what you`ve said - you bring your children up properly tell them not to hit other kids etc and yet other parents don`t seem to give a sh** what their kids do. My daughter was getting bullied at school, I told to tell the teacher - which she kept doing, nothing really changed, I told her that if someone hits you first then it would be ok to hit back (she wouldn`t in case she got into trouble). I went in to see the head master and he said he would have a word with the girl involved - nothing changed. Eventually I went in to full Gobbyjock mode and told the head in no uncertain terms that if it wasn`t sorted then there would be repurcussions for the school (I got a sob story about the bullies home life - sorry to be harsh but that wasn`t my problem to sort out and told him in no uncertain terms that it was my daughter being bullied so why do I care!!) It is ok now (I think the Head had a wet patch on his seat by the time I`d finished) My daughter came home a few weeks ago and said that someone had kicked her and that she had kicked them back I told her that I was really pleased she`d stuck up for herself ( I actually felt a little sad at that because I feel that something is failing somewhere)
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 8:45 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

This is a violent world, and people have to stick up for themselves.

I was bullied when I came to England as a 7-year old and started school. I was in the park across the road from our house and some older kids playing football started bullying me and one hit me.
I ran home crying. More from shock and rejection than pain.
My step-dad told me to go back to the field, and punch the biggest bully.
I went back to the park and went up to the biggest bully (also the ringleader) and started laying into him. I was scared and angry.
They all ran away. I didn`t have any more trouble with bullies after that, and some of them even became friends.

Your son needs to know he is allowed to defend himself. At least he`s bigger. Maybe you should consider him learning kickboxing or tae-kwon-do or something for confidence and fitness.

As soon as they know he`s not an easy target they`ll leave him alone. If you don`t allow him to retaliate then he will lose all confidence in himself (which is why he may be taking things out on you), and it will affect all aspects of his life and may even shape his personality for the rest of his life. Yeah, bullying is that serious.

Let him hit them back if they start on him. Tell him to just laugh and say `yeah yeah.... whatever` to whatever they may say to goad him. But if they hit him he needs to hit them back now rather than later. It`s the only way they`ll get some respect for him.
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 9:21 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Originally Posted by slimdonnybabe
This might shock some on this site especially those on their way or just arrived.

We put my son into a local (Melbourne SE) private school after looking around to find the right one. His behaviour has deteriorated since he started the new school term here in January he has become very loud, shouting and screaming at us, yelling, being really defiant, verbally aggressive, hitting us, losing his temper, being moody, has had lots of pent up anger and rage really emotional very aggressive with his toys etc. Basically his character has changed completely. He has become a nightmare to live with especially as he is so strong. He is the weight of a ten year old and comes up to my nose
height wise and he isn't 7 until July. At first I thought his testosterone
was kicking in, but he kept telling me he didn't like the children in his
class and that they were unkind, didn't talk to him and were horrible, he
said they nipped him, called him names and took his things. A lot of things
he has just kept to himself and not disclosed . I knew from his behavior
that he was being bullied, but not to the extent that it was happening all
the time by a gang of children. Poor child. Turns out that he has been
getting nipped all the time by the children in this gang on his table, the
children have to move around regularly but four children were involved so
where ever the teacher put him he was getting nipped all the time. The
children haven't been talking to him except to call him names throw his
things over the fence and be generally horrible to him. Our son's an ideal
target because although he is huge and very strong he is quiet and won't
tell the teacher he doesn't have the confidence plus he won't fight back
because I have always taught him not to hit etc. In the play ground the four
children have been ganging up to jump on him to hit him etc. My alarm bells
really started ringing when we went to a childrens birthday pool party.
Our son was swimming on his own and the children were all ignoring him when
one of the girls near me said to one of the boys "shall we go and kill
him"? I was so shocked, sorry that's not normal. At a recent party in a
soft play area I went to see what the interaction was and the group dynamics within 2 mins of arriving he had been kicked in the head for no reason had things thrown at him really nastily for no reason and had a child almost come up behind him on the equipment pulled himself up to Richard by grabbing his shorts nearly ripping them off. The Head is involved now and the
school counsellors to help him cope with the bullying, but as I said to the
Head he shouldn't have to cope with it from what I've seen its not just a
bit of rough horse play. The Head was fairly sympathetic until I
told her if there was any more I would remove him from the school as I
didn't want him mixing with children like that . Honestly, you pay all that
money for your child to go to school to get beaten up. I really feel that my gut reaction is to take him out, but he has had so many changes in his life already plus the education is good and suits him plus he likes the teachers. Maybe I should give the school time to sort it. The school have also suggested family counselling. Well if I didnt need it before, I do now.
This is terrbile. No child [or parent for that matter ] should have to go through this. My heart goes out to you.

Strangly enough someone at work asked me to help look for a website regarding this topic as it's a government "hot potato" in Aus, mainly because they don't seem to be doing anything too much about it, or at least it''s early days. Anyways, I managed to find this site. Not sure if it's useful or appropriate for where you live but it's a start. The key seems to be to ask the school for a copy of their Bullying policy or even the local council. You can then asert your childs rights and insist something is done about it in a measured way. Here's the sight. Good luck

http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/stories/108.asp
 
Old Mar 19th 2005, 9:53 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

This sort of thing makes me want to vomit!!

Why should anyone be they a child OR an adult be bullied, tormented or riduculed just because they dont look like the majority or are different? And to say the kid needs to toughen up and become violent in order to be left alone is a very sad indicament of the nasty selfish and inconsiderate society we live in.
But hey!!... when the place is full of adults who behave in the exact same manner as these kids do, what hope is there of ridding ourselves of the ignorance and bully boy nature so often endured by those who dont fit everyone elses mold??

Bloody w*nkers the lot of them
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 10:52 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Originally Posted by spondyatwood
I love it and so does my Son My wife misses friends more than me but we have only been here 6 months so are still new.

We lived in a village just off the M18 Thurcroft if you know it.

How long have you been here yourself.
Small world.we used to live in Askern,parents are in Rotherham!
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 10:56 am
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

And it's not just boys who are bullies.

In my daughter's class last year, and this is Prep (5-6 year olds) there was a girl who was bullied by two other girls. This young girl is very small for her age (and she's one of the eldest in the class).

Her Mother couldn't understand why she didn't want to go to school as she had been really excited about it before the school year started. Her daughter eventually told her that some girls had been picking on her.

The mother only found out the extent of the bullying after her daughter had been to counselling.

Seems that the most awful part of the bullying had been the 2 girls picking snot out of their noses and rubbing it in this poor girls hair. The mother couldn't understand at the time why she wanted to wash her hair every night.

The young girl had also befriended a little boy in the class who had Downs Syndrome. The 2 bullies had told her that if she drank from the little boy's water bottle, she'd end up like him as well.

I'm not sure what happened once the parents of the 2 bullies were informed, or how they dealt with it, but they are not in the same class this year.
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 12:23 pm
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

Having a child that is being bullied day in day our it awful we have had the same in the uk. My eldest son (17) was bullied most of his school life and we had the saying go and tell. Well it was a waste of time and in the end he ended up saying he didnt want to go. We ended up going into school and telling them that if they didnt sort it our we would our own way. The school got a new head and she was great she got the police in as my son was assulted and it all stopped. We used to tell him to hit them back but he never did.
For those who encourage their kids not to hit back sounds like a good idea at the time but if it was you and someone hit you what would you do would you stand there and take it ? well i wouldnt i would most certainly hit them back.

As for changing schools ask you son slimdonnybabe what he wants then come to a decision

good luck hope you can get it sorted

Debs xxxx
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Old Mar 19th 2005, 1:00 pm
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Default Re: School Bullies. Anyone else?

One of my sons has been bullied from the age of 6 and still is now at 15. I don't know why, he's not ugly or fat or spotty or anything out of the ordinary. I have got to the stage that I tell him to hit back and bloody hard. He is scared that he is weak. I say how do you know you've never hit them. Last time was about 3 weeks ago and the school has suspended the child until after easter, the police were involved and they even said to him hit them back its called self defence. What really makes me laugh is that this child started on my son in the library at lunch (he spends every lunch in here out of the way) which a teacher saw and stopped, he was warned to leave Ryan alone, but waited until after school and punched him several times in the face, again in front of the teacher. The bully's friends then said to my son the following day that he was going to get him for getting him suspended. I ask you who got who suspended.

Lets wait and see after easter. Or as we fly on the 2nd of May perhaps I won't bother sending him at all.
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