Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
#1
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,818
Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Hi everyone
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
Last edited by SuperSeagulls; Jan 23rd 2006 at 7:12 am.
#2
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by SuperSeagulls
Hi everyone
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, tha's for sure.
SS
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, tha's for sure.
SS
The airport thing is a real gut wrencher though..... you do want the family and friends there and at the same time you don't cos you just know it's gonner be the hardest thing....... And when you let go and walk through those departure doors............................................. .............................................
#3
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by SuperSeagulls
Hi everyone
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
#4
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,818
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by cypry
NO.... No guilt, no guilt at all..... you gotta do what you think is right for yourself and your family!!!!!!
The airport thing is a real gut wrencher though..... you do want the family and friends there and at the same time you don't cos you just know it's gonner be the hardest thing....... And when you let go and walk through those departure doors............................................. .............................................
The airport thing is a real gut wrencher though..... you do want the family and friends there and at the same time you don't cos you just know it's gonner be the hardest thing....... And when you let go and walk through those departure doors............................................. .............................................
But then, it'll be worth seeing the smiles on their faces when they come out to visit and see how amazing Australia is.
SS
#5
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by SuperSeagulls
But then, it'll be worth seeing the smiles on their faces when they come out to visit and see how amazing Australia is.
SS
SS
#6
Riddle89
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Posts: 62
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
I already feel guilty, we are hopefully off to Canada (still waiting on visas) and we know it is still a year before we will be able to go and my Mum is already making me feel dreadful.
Whenever I talk about the pending relocation I get floods of tears !!!!! Its driving me nuts. Although she is good and never gets upset if the children are around (so far), she also knows it drives me crazy and tries to not cry. She tells everyone she will be out to visit 12 weeks after we leave - forgetting there are several other granparents in the same position.
I have a 2 and 4 yr old and agree, we probably won't have anyone at the airport, my 4 yr old will be prepared as best we can for the move but like said above her last vision of Granparents upset as we leave won't be a good start to the relocation.
I do feel guilty about the people we will be leaving behind, not so much the parents but my granparents - aged 89, 90 & 96 all of which are now too old and frail to travel. These are giving me less grief than my mother !!!!!
Riddle89
Whenever I talk about the pending relocation I get floods of tears !!!!! Its driving me nuts. Although she is good and never gets upset if the children are around (so far), she also knows it drives me crazy and tries to not cry. She tells everyone she will be out to visit 12 weeks after we leave - forgetting there are several other granparents in the same position.
I have a 2 and 4 yr old and agree, we probably won't have anyone at the airport, my 4 yr old will be prepared as best we can for the move but like said above her last vision of Granparents upset as we leave won't be a good start to the relocation.
I do feel guilty about the people we will be leaving behind, not so much the parents but my granparents - aged 89, 90 & 96 all of which are now too old and frail to travel. These are giving me less grief than my mother !!!!!
Riddle89
#7
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by SuperSeagulls
Hi everyone
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
#8
Riddle89
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Posts: 62
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
We are going no matter how much guilt my mother tries makes me feel, as I keep telling her, my priorities are my kids and husband, although I love her and father very much, the day I had my children I took on a huge responsibility to do my best for them.
We feel the best for them and us will be relocation, we will have much more time together as a family and all enjoy the outdoors which will 'hopefully' be much more accessable.
We feel the best for them and us will be relocation, we will have much more time together as a family and all enjoy the outdoors which will 'hopefully' be much more accessable.
#9
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by SuperSeagulls
Hi everyone
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
#10
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,818
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Thanks for the commetns everyone.
My folks arent making me feel guility themselves, not at all..I just feel guilty myself for making them upset. But they are 100% behind me. I guess it was a bit of a shock to them a month ago when my brother told them that he was relocating to Norway with work..so it was a double bombshell (although they have known about my Oz plans for more than 2 years now)!!!
SS
My folks arent making me feel guility themselves, not at all..I just feel guilty myself for making them upset. But they are 100% behind me. I guess it was a bit of a shock to them a month ago when my brother told them that he was relocating to Norway with work..so it was a double bombshell (although they have known about my Oz plans for more than 2 years now)!!!
SS
Last edited by SuperSeagulls; Jan 24th 2006 at 7:14 am.
#11
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by SuperSeagulls
Thanks for the commetns everyone.
My folks arent making me feel guility themselves, not at all..I just feel guilty myself for making them upset. But they are 100% behind me. I guess it was a bit of a shock to them a month ago when my brother told them that he was relocating to Norway with work..so it was a double bombshell (although they have known about my Oz plans for more than 2 years now)!!!
SS
My folks arent making me feel guility themselves, not at all..I just feel guilty myself for making them upset. But they are 100% behind me. I guess it was a bit of a shock to them a month ago when my brother told them that he was relocating to Norway with work..so it was a double bombshell (although they have known about my Oz plans for more than 2 years now)!!!
SS
#12
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
hi ss
my folks are right behind us all the way (are they trying to get rid? lol)
they lent us the money for tra cos we didnt have it at the time (paid them back now)
my mum is going ape s**t taking photos of us all my kids with sisters kids, all the kids with her and dad and so on she carries her camera everywhere
we havent even got the visa yet !!!
god help us when we do!!!
but i know what you mean
i woke up in a sweat the other night after dreaming that my dad (i am really close to dad. you could say daddys girl) wouldnt speak to me and he kept saying that he would never speak to me again turning his back to me saying i was deserting him and turning my back on him (mr r doesnt know this i havent told him)
how frickin guilty do i feel
everything will work out in the end for you its that initial first step towards your new life
i suppose you could compare it to a baby leaving its mum to go to school for the first time (all of mine screamed) but they settle in the end
ah well thats enough waffle from me
guess who cant sleep again then!!!!!!
good luck
jan xx
my folks are right behind us all the way (are they trying to get rid? lol)
they lent us the money for tra cos we didnt have it at the time (paid them back now)
my mum is going ape s**t taking photos of us all my kids with sisters kids, all the kids with her and dad and so on she carries her camera everywhere
we havent even got the visa yet !!!
god help us when we do!!!
but i know what you mean
i woke up in a sweat the other night after dreaming that my dad (i am really close to dad. you could say daddys girl) wouldnt speak to me and he kept saying that he would never speak to me again turning his back to me saying i was deserting him and turning my back on him (mr r doesnt know this i havent told him)
how frickin guilty do i feel
everything will work out in the end for you its that initial first step towards your new life
i suppose you could compare it to a baby leaving its mum to go to school for the first time (all of mine screamed) but they settle in the end
ah well thats enough waffle from me
guess who cant sleep again then!!!!!!
good luck
jan xx
#13
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by SuperSeagulls
Hi everyone
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
#14
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by SuperSeagulls
Hi everyone
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
I had a bit of a family leaving bash this weekend - it was pretty emotional, that's for sure.
The overwhelming feeling was of guilt, for making people so upset. Even though they know why we are going to Australia, and totally understand the reasons why, it isn't very pleasant seeing family so upset (especially my Mum!!).
Anyone else feel this way? I expect it is a pretty common emotion.
We leave mid-Feb. And it isn't going to be very pleasant at the airport, that's for sure.
SS
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#15
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Saying Goodbye - anyone else feel guilty?
Originally Posted by squeezzii
Hi SS, we have been in perth 6months now and with everything involved in the move it has gone in the blink of an eye. The guilt was and is hard, theres no point in trying to pretend otherwise (despite knowing we're doing the best thing) The worst of it was we in effect, took away the only grandchildren that 2 nanna's are ever going to have, to live the otherside of the world and for that I'll feel eternal guilt and in their goodness, never once have either of them tried to change our minds or make us feel bad -which of course makes us feel bad...But on the upside as others have pointed out it'll be great when they visit. Good luck and make the best use of all the support you're getting I'm sure you'll be ok!
All of you! Please, please try to relax. My mother's only grandchildren are in Australia. To charming boys, just short of their 9th & 12th birthdays respectively, and my widowed Mum dotes on them big-style.
DIMIA have been fantastically helpful to us in the last 12 -14 years. Their parent-migration schemes are not elastic, and not everyone can meet the criteria for them, for one reason or another.
However, the Australian Government is immensely humane and very well-geared for coping with the sorts of wrench-situations described by you all.
The Oz Guv doesn't call them Granny Visas. No doubt it would not be PC! Nonetheless, these days, a Granny can do London-Perth in about 24 hrs door to door, and for TLC towards Grannies en route, in my view Singapore Airlines cannot be beaten as carriers. DIMIA has always been content to allow my Mum to split her time between Australia & the UK and they are sensitive and responsive about Granny-visas. They have always come up trumps with Granny-visas for Mum. (Officially sub-class 686 or something, but Granny is a better colloqiual description, in my view!)
The long & short is that DIMIA are very perceptive about what is best for the whole family. Trust me, please, because I am RIGHT about this.
Best thing for bereft Granny is a change of scenery for at least 6 months every year. Please all find and study the website for the Australian High Commission in London. (It comes up instantly on Google.) For Granny, ETAs are not the right type of visa, in my view. On the London site, Form 48R is the clue. That Form enables a longer visit for Granny & Grandad.
Australia is NOT about abandoning family ties. DIMIA have always been nothing short of brilliant in assisting my own family. I urge you to look at the London site, and I send love to you all.
Gill