Saying Goodbye
Apr 27th 2005, 10:49 pm
#1
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Location: Hobart
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Saying Goodbye
Yesterday I did the thing I had been most dreading and said goodbye to my parents.
My mum and dad split up years ago so I first stayed with my mum for a night and went out for a nice meal and saying goodbye to my mum and my sister and brother was easier than I had expected- the hardest thing was knowing my mum was putting on a brave face and than the minute we left she would be crying.
Then we went to see my dad. The original plan had been to spend 2 nights at my dads and go out for a couple of lovely meals with all the family- I had imagined it to be a wonderful couple of days but life got in the way and on Monday my dad was admitted to hospital !!!- He is a diabetic and has problems with his feet and infection and they think he might lose his toe. Anyway of course this changed everything so instead of the lovely evenings planned- I had to spend the last time with my dad in a hospital. We went to see him twice and the last time was yesterday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a couple of hours and actually I thought I was going to be OK but when it came time to go, Dad walked us to the end of the ward and he looked so vulnerable in his nightshirt and I just fell to pieces. I did try so hard not to cry because I didnt want to upset him but I just couln't help it- In the end i gave him a big hug and then I just had to walk away because I knew i just wouldnt be able to stop crying. I guess its harder because his illness means he won't be able to fly to see us and yet the last thing he said was that he would see me in Tasmania real soon , and yet I know that just won't happen.
I dont want to depress everyone- it was just harder than I imagined and today I just feel really flat.
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
My mum and dad split up years ago so I first stayed with my mum for a night and went out for a nice meal and saying goodbye to my mum and my sister and brother was easier than I had expected- the hardest thing was knowing my mum was putting on a brave face and than the minute we left she would be crying.
Then we went to see my dad. The original plan had been to spend 2 nights at my dads and go out for a couple of lovely meals with all the family- I had imagined it to be a wonderful couple of days but life got in the way and on Monday my dad was admitted to hospital !!!- He is a diabetic and has problems with his feet and infection and they think he might lose his toe. Anyway of course this changed everything so instead of the lovely evenings planned- I had to spend the last time with my dad in a hospital. We went to see him twice and the last time was yesterday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a couple of hours and actually I thought I was going to be OK but when it came time to go, Dad walked us to the end of the ward and he looked so vulnerable in his nightshirt and I just fell to pieces. I did try so hard not to cry because I didnt want to upset him but I just couln't help it- In the end i gave him a big hug and then I just had to walk away because I knew i just wouldnt be able to stop crying. I guess its harder because his illness means he won't be able to fly to see us and yet the last thing he said was that he would see me in Tasmania real soon , and yet I know that just won't happen.
I dont want to depress everyone- it was just harder than I imagined and today I just feel really flat.
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
Apr 27th 2005, 10:53 pm
#2
Keeping an eye out !
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 885
Re: Saying Goodbye
Oh Nat
you made me tearful about your Dad, keep your chin up and get on with last minute preparations, the pain will lessen
Good Luck
Carole
you made me tearful about your Dad, keep your chin up and get on with last minute preparations, the pain will lessen
Good Luck
Carole
Originally Posted by natty
Yesterday I did the thing I had been most dreading and said goodbye to my parents.
My mum and dad split up years ago so I first stayed with my mum for a night and went out for a nice meal and saying goodbye to my mum and my sister and brother was easier than I had expected- the hardest thing was knowing my mum was putting on a brave face and than the minute we left she would be crying.
Then we went to see my dad. The original plan had been to spend 2 nights at my dads and go out for a couple of lovely meals with all the family- I had imagined it to be a wonderful couple of days but life got in the way and on Monday my dad was admitted to hospital !!!- He is a diabetic and has problems with his feet and infection and they think he might lose his toe. Anyway of course this changed everything so instead of the lovely evenings planned- I had to spend the last time with my dad in a hospital. We went to see him twice and the last time was yesterday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a couple of hours and actually I thought I was going to be OK but when it came time to go, Dad walked us to the end of the ward and he looked so vulnerable in his nightshirt and I just fell to pieces. I did try so hard not to cry because I didnt want to upset him but I just couln't help it- In the end i gave him a big hug and then I just had to walk away because I knew i just wouldnt be able to stop crying. I guess its harder because his illness means he won't be able to fly to see us and yet the last thing he said was that he would see me in Tasmania real soon , and yet I know that just won't happen.
I dont want to depress everyone- it was just harder than I imagined and today I just feel really flat.
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
My mum and dad split up years ago so I first stayed with my mum for a night and went out for a nice meal and saying goodbye to my mum and my sister and brother was easier than I had expected- the hardest thing was knowing my mum was putting on a brave face and than the minute we left she would be crying.
Then we went to see my dad. The original plan had been to spend 2 nights at my dads and go out for a couple of lovely meals with all the family- I had imagined it to be a wonderful couple of days but life got in the way and on Monday my dad was admitted to hospital !!!- He is a diabetic and has problems with his feet and infection and they think he might lose his toe. Anyway of course this changed everything so instead of the lovely evenings planned- I had to spend the last time with my dad in a hospital. We went to see him twice and the last time was yesterday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a couple of hours and actually I thought I was going to be OK but when it came time to go, Dad walked us to the end of the ward and he looked so vulnerable in his nightshirt and I just fell to pieces. I did try so hard not to cry because I didnt want to upset him but I just couln't help it- In the end i gave him a big hug and then I just had to walk away because I knew i just wouldnt be able to stop crying. I guess its harder because his illness means he won't be able to fly to see us and yet the last thing he said was that he would see me in Tasmania real soon , and yet I know that just won't happen.
I dont want to depress everyone- it was just harder than I imagined and today I just feel really flat.
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
Apr 27th 2005, 10:55 pm
#3
Im a woomaaan
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,978
Re: Saying Goodbye
Originally Posted by natty
Yesterday I did the thing I had been most dreading and said goodbye to my parents.
My mum and dad split up years ago so I first stayed with my mum for a night and went out for a nice meal and saying goodbye to my mum and my sister and brother was easier than I had expected- the hardest thing was knowing my mum was putting on a brave face and than the minute we left she would be crying.
Then we went to see my dad. The original plan had been to spend 2 nights at my dads and go out for a couple of lovely meals with all the family- I had imagined it to be a wonderful couple of days but life got in the way and on Monday my dad was admitted to hospital !!!- He is a diabetic and has problems with his feet and infection and they think he might lose his toe. Anyway of course this changed everything so instead of the lovely evenings planned- I had to spend the last time with my dad in a hospital. We went to see him twice and the last time was yesterday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a couple of hours and actually I thought I was going to be OK but when it came time to go, Dad walked us to the end of the ward and he looked so vulnerable in his nightshirt and I just fell to pieces. I did try so hard not to cry because I didnt want to upset him but I just couln't help it- In the end i gave him a big hug and then I just had to walk away because I knew i just wouldnt be able to stop crying. I guess its harder because his illness means he won't be able to fly to see us and yet the last thing he said was that he would see me in Tasmania real soon , and yet I know that just won't happen.
I dont want to depress everyone- it was just harder than I imagined and today I just feel really flat.
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
My mum and dad split up years ago so I first stayed with my mum for a night and went out for a nice meal and saying goodbye to my mum and my sister and brother was easier than I had expected- the hardest thing was knowing my mum was putting on a brave face and than the minute we left she would be crying.
Then we went to see my dad. The original plan had been to spend 2 nights at my dads and go out for a couple of lovely meals with all the family- I had imagined it to be a wonderful couple of days but life got in the way and on Monday my dad was admitted to hospital !!!- He is a diabetic and has problems with his feet and infection and they think he might lose his toe. Anyway of course this changed everything so instead of the lovely evenings planned- I had to spend the last time with my dad in a hospital. We went to see him twice and the last time was yesterday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a couple of hours and actually I thought I was going to be OK but when it came time to go, Dad walked us to the end of the ward and he looked so vulnerable in his nightshirt and I just fell to pieces. I did try so hard not to cry because I didnt want to upset him but I just couln't help it- In the end i gave him a big hug and then I just had to walk away because I knew i just wouldnt be able to stop crying. I guess its harder because his illness means he won't be able to fly to see us and yet the last thing he said was that he would see me in Tasmania real soon , and yet I know that just won't happen.
I dont want to depress everyone- it was just harder than I imagined and today I just feel really flat.
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
Last edited by gobbyjock; Apr 27th 2005 at 11:12 pm. Reason: missed out up
Apr 27th 2005, 10:55 pm
#4
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Lower Chittering, Perth
Posts: 4,646
Re: Saying Goodbye
This is the hardest part of the process.......it nearly killed me doing the goodbyes with my family. Hopefully your dad's health will improve, and he may surprise you by making that trip to Tas.
All the very best
All the very best
Apr 27th 2005, 10:58 pm
#5
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 12,063
Re: Saying Goodbye
Originally Posted by natty
Yesterday I did the thing I had been most dreading and said goodbye to my parents.
My mum and dad split up years ago so I first stayed with my mum for a night and went out for a nice meal and saying goodbye to my mum and my sister and brother was easier than I had expected- the hardest thing was knowing my mum was putting on a brave face and than the minute we left she would be crying.
Then we went to see my dad. The original plan had been to spend 2 nights at my dads and go out for a couple of lovely meals with all the family- I had imagined it to be a wonderful couple of days but life got in the way and on Monday my dad was admitted to hospital !!!- He is a diabetic and has problems with his feet and infection and they think he might lose his toe. Anyway of course this changed everything so instead of the lovely evenings planned- I had to spend the last time with my dad in a hospital. We went to see him twice and the last time was yesterday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a couple of hours and actually I thought I was going to be OK but when it came time to go, Dad walked us to the end of the ward and he looked so vulnerable in his nightshirt and I just fell to pieces. I did try so hard not to cry because I didnt want to upset him but I just couln't help it- In the end i gave him a big hug and then I just had to walk away because I knew i just wouldnt be able to stop crying. I guess its harder because his illness means he won't be able to fly to see us and yet the last thing he said was that he would see me in Tasmania real soon , and yet I know that just won't happen.
I dont want to depress everyone- it was just harder than I imagined and today I just feel really flat.
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
My mum and dad split up years ago so I first stayed with my mum for a night and went out for a nice meal and saying goodbye to my mum and my sister and brother was easier than I had expected- the hardest thing was knowing my mum was putting on a brave face and than the minute we left she would be crying.
Then we went to see my dad. The original plan had been to spend 2 nights at my dads and go out for a couple of lovely meals with all the family- I had imagined it to be a wonderful couple of days but life got in the way and on Monday my dad was admitted to hospital !!!- He is a diabetic and has problems with his feet and infection and they think he might lose his toe. Anyway of course this changed everything so instead of the lovely evenings planned- I had to spend the last time with my dad in a hospital. We went to see him twice and the last time was yesterday afternoon. We sat and chatted for a couple of hours and actually I thought I was going to be OK but when it came time to go, Dad walked us to the end of the ward and he looked so vulnerable in his nightshirt and I just fell to pieces. I did try so hard not to cry because I didnt want to upset him but I just couln't help it- In the end i gave him a big hug and then I just had to walk away because I knew i just wouldnt be able to stop crying. I guess its harder because his illness means he won't be able to fly to see us and yet the last thing he said was that he would see me in Tasmania real soon , and yet I know that just won't happen.
I dont want to depress everyone- it was just harder than I imagined and today I just feel really flat.
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
What can I say theres no words, its the thing I'm dreading most.
Chin up girl your right you survived this and this time next week you will be in Tas, you have a new life to look forward to and its going to be great.
Kay xx
P.s are you going straight to Tas or stopping somewhere on the way?
Apr 27th 2005, 11:03 pm
#6
In my own little world!
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,062
Re: Saying Goodbye
Originally Posted by natty
The important thing to remember though is that I survived this and so did my family- no one died, life carried on and in a couple of days when the pain has lessened, no doubt i will be laughing and looking forward to my new life.
Nat
Nat
I think above everything else, saying goodbye to loved ones is going to be the hardest thing of all about emigrating. I don't mind admitting that I got abit teary reading your post, but as you say you get on with it and as time goes on, it gets easier. Wise words, and ones I'll no doubt need to remember myself at some point.
Nicky
Apr 27th 2005, 11:19 pm
#7
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Helensvale, Gold Coast
Posts: 214
Re: Saying Goodbye
Hi Nat,
God I feel for you. Your post really set me off blubbering.
I'm not looking forward to saying Goodbye at all. My Dad will be the worst as my mum died in October, so he hasn't got used to being without her yet!
God knows how I'll cope! Also the whole family is coming to the airport to see us off!! Not sure this is a good idea but they are all insisting!!
Anyway Karma on it's way to you.
Have a good trip Take Care
Marie
God I feel for you. Your post really set me off blubbering.
I'm not looking forward to saying Goodbye at all. My Dad will be the worst as my mum died in October, so he hasn't got used to being without her yet!
God knows how I'll cope! Also the whole family is coming to the airport to see us off!! Not sure this is a good idea but they are all insisting!!
Anyway Karma on it's way to you.
Have a good trip Take Care
Marie
Apr 27th 2005, 11:20 pm
#8
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: pacific pines
Posts: 4,418
Re: Saying Goodbye
So sorry to hear that Nat x
Best laid plans eh,dont loose hope, your dad may still make that trip one day so look forward.
Goodluck & Best wishes to your dad x x
Donna.
Best laid plans eh,dont loose hope, your dad may still make that trip one day so look forward.
Goodluck & Best wishes to your dad x x
Donna.
Apr 27th 2005, 11:29 pm
#9
ah-beng
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: ^.^
Posts: 3,113
Re: Saying Goodbye
Originally Posted by neil&momo
Hi Nat,
God I feel for you. Your post really set me off blubbering.
I'm not looking forward to saying Goodbye at all. My Dad will be the worst as my mum died in October, so he hasn't got used to being without her yet!
God knows how I'll cope! Also the whole family is coming to the airport to see us off!! Not sure this is a good idea but they are all insisting!!
Anyway Karma on it's way to you.
Have a good trip Take Care
Marie
God I feel for you. Your post really set me off blubbering.
I'm not looking forward to saying Goodbye at all. My Dad will be the worst as my mum died in October, so he hasn't got used to being without her yet!
God knows how I'll cope! Also the whole family is coming to the airport to see us off!! Not sure this is a good idea but they are all insisting!!
Anyway Karma on it's way to you.
Have a good trip Take Care
Marie
I was just about to say one bit of advice is not to say goodbye on the day you are flying..I cried all the way to the airport and then ended up with a stonking headache for the flight.
Spalens wife
Apr 28th 2005, 12:02 am
#10
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 622
Re: Saying Goodbye
Originally Posted by spalen
I was just about to say one bit of advice is not to say goodbye on the day you are flying..I cried all the way to the airport and then ended up with a stonking headache for the flight.
Spalens wife
Spalens wife
Apr 28th 2005, 12:07 am
#11
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Location: From Poole in Dorset to Mandurah WA
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Re: Saying Goodbye
Hi Nat
Sending you some karma!!! IMO you have just jumped the hardest hurdle, 6 weeks since i had to say goodbye to all my family...like every1else has said keep your chin up and it does get easier!!
Very good advice there spalen as it took my eyes and head 2 days to recover lol
Best wishes for you and your dad
Claire
Sending you some karma!!! IMO you have just jumped the hardest hurdle, 6 weeks since i had to say goodbye to all my family...like every1else has said keep your chin up and it does get easier!!
Very good advice there spalen as it took my eyes and head 2 days to recover lol
Best wishes for you and your dad
Claire
Apr 28th 2005, 12:12 am
#12
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Northern Beaches
Posts: 84
Re: Saying Goodbye
Hi Nat,
Hope your dad gets better soon, just sending you some karma as this made me fill up. I recently went back home and the whole time I was home my Nana was in hospital which makes it all a bit harder to say goodbye. But it did make her more determined to get well and make the trip out here. It does get easier and the world really is a smaller place these days.
Karen
Hope your dad gets better soon, just sending you some karma as this made me fill up. I recently went back home and the whole time I was home my Nana was in hospital which makes it all a bit harder to say goodbye. But it did make her more determined to get well and make the trip out here. It does get easier and the world really is a smaller place these days.
Karen
Apr 28th 2005, 12:43 am
#13
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2003
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 67
Re: Saying Goodbye
Nat, I too have to admit that I had to blink back the tears reading your post.
I really feel for you, but on the bright side your Dad will be OK and at least you've got your goodbyes out of the way I've got 9 months to worry about saying goodbye :scared:
Hopefully your Dad will beable to make the trip and as some one said earlier the world is alot smaller place these days.
Hope everything else goes OK and I will try to send you some of that Karma stuff.
I really feel for you, but on the bright side your Dad will be OK and at least you've got your goodbyes out of the way I've got 9 months to worry about saying goodbye :scared:
Hopefully your Dad will beable to make the trip and as some one said earlier the world is alot smaller place these days.
Hope everything else goes OK and I will try to send you some of that Karma stuff.
Apr 28th 2005, 1:26 am
#14
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Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 819
Re: Saying Goodbye
Hello Nat
Have just managed to pull myself together, black bleary eyed! I hope your dad recovers soon and you never know he might make that journey to you one day.
As I have got older I have become more sensitive and emotional. Used to be hard as a brick but not anymore !
I am absolutely dreading the goodbyes, I know it sounds terrible but I am almost tempted to slope off quietly.
Theresa
PS Have sent you some karma.
Have just managed to pull myself together, black bleary eyed! I hope your dad recovers soon and you never know he might make that journey to you one day.
As I have got older I have become more sensitive and emotional. Used to be hard as a brick but not anymore !
I am absolutely dreading the goodbyes, I know it sounds terrible but I am almost tempted to slope off quietly.
Theresa
PS Have sent you some karma.
Apr 28th 2005, 1:40 am
#15
Cleveland, Bayside
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Bayside, Brissy
Posts: 1,595
Re: Saying Goodbye
Hi Nat
I really feel for you, and also know what you are going th. A couple of months my mum (who is also a diabetic) found out she was losing her sight in her right eye. I was so horrified :scared:
Anyway she had to go for some photos on her eyes on Tuesday and I went with her as I am off work this week. OMG she is now losing it in the left eye now as well.
The doc says he doesnt know how long it will take but she is to take good care of herself!!
I am ridden with guilt at the mo cos I am in the process of going to Aus and leaving my mum behind and knowing that she will be lind and might not be able to see us in the future kills me.
Try to think positive and I'm sure your Dad will be okay.
When you do you out and where to??
Take Care
Ang
p.s. sent you some karma
I really feel for you, and also know what you are going th. A couple of months my mum (who is also a diabetic) found out she was losing her sight in her right eye. I was so horrified :scared:
Anyway she had to go for some photos on her eyes on Tuesday and I went with her as I am off work this week. OMG she is now losing it in the left eye now as well.
The doc says he doesnt know how long it will take but she is to take good care of herself!!
I am ridden with guilt at the mo cos I am in the process of going to Aus and leaving my mum behind and knowing that she will be lind and might not be able to see us in the future kills me.
Try to think positive and I'm sure your Dad will be okay.
When you do you out and where to??
Take Care
Ang
p.s. sent you some karma
