Est

Can anyone help, or offer any advice? We have been away now from home since 19 November and have travelled around the far east for a few weeks got to perth 10 December, spending christmas in Adelaide and new year in Melbourne - we are arriving in Brisbane on 3 January.

I am struggling beyond belief. I am really missing my family. I really have been in tears most days since we left. I would appreciate any more advice on this and would really like to meet anyone else in the same situation in Brisbane in January. I didnt think I was such a big softy.

Esther

Bordy

Hi Esther,

I honestly don't think its anything to do with being a softy.
I would say more females than males suffer from it & without doubt the first 6 months are the worst.
You are out of your comfort zone & it takes time to build up another comfort zone.
Theres nothing you can really do to make it better apart from giving it time & as you are trying to do meet up with others.
I'm sure heaps of Ex Pats have been there & are now well settled.

Of course after 6 months or a year if its no better then you can always go home, theres no disgrace in trying to live here & if it doesn't work out then so be it.

Vernons

Hi

We live on the Sunshine coast so if you are ever up this way we would love to meet up. We arrived here from the UK in September and I am finding it harder than my husband and it was my idea to come here! I don't know about you but I sometimes find moving from place to place difficult to settle so maybe when you arrive in Brisbane (is this where you intend to settle) you will start to feel better. It also helps when you have your 'home' with your things around you.

Christmas is a very strange time and I think it places a lot of emphasis on family and friends and when you are away from them it is a hard reminder. Try and treat yourself with something nice and take each day as it comes.

Moving away from everyone and everything you know is a huge and very brave move and you need to remember that. I am still trying to find a job (teacher) so spend a lot of time on my own when my husbnad is at work and if I am totally honest I find it terrible. I try and take each day as it comes and make an effort to do something whether it is email fiends, take a walk or drive to the beach.

I really do understand how you are feeling so don't be so hard on yourself, I am sure most people go through this and like the other post said if you give it a while longer and it still isn't for you then well done for trying because most people don't even do that. I hope you feel better when you are settled in Brisbane and if you fancy a day at the beach we are here!
Take care
Michelle

moneypenny20

I think you are maybe thinking too much about the move. Can you pretend you are on a long and really fab holiday that covers christmas. If you are close to the family in the UK it will be a hard time but treat it all as a great holiday until you get to your final destination which I guess is Brissie and it should be easier.

There are stacks of people in Brissie, let them know whereabouts you are going to settle and there will be lots who can meet up with you.

Have a good christmas and new year.

OzWannabee

Hi Esther

Totally feel for you!! We left on New Years Eve last year and it is such an emotional time anyway but the festive season just seems to make it so much harder!! Hang on in there it does get better for most and once you start to settle in one place and make friends it should get easier!!

We are on the Bayside and there are loads of Brits around here so you should have no problem making friends. Send me a PM if you want to meet up.

Give yourself a break - your making a huge move just try and enjoy the experience and it will work out one way or another!!

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year!!

Centurion

Sounds to me you need a place to call home, which you dont have at the moment.

I hope things get better for you once you finally arrive at your final destination.

Merry Christmas.

Hutch

Feel for you guys. As others have said, stepping outside that comfort zone is one hell of an undertaking, especially at a time like this when you remember happy times with friends and family. Everyone, no matter how bullish, suffers from it. My wife, whose idea it was to emigrate here has had her moments. I think making somewhere home here would definitely help - please take some solace in the fact that it can get better. There are plenty of expats in the Brisbane area who have and are going through the same thing - I strongly suggest you hook up with some of the great people on this forum in the Brisbane area - people who will totally understand what you're going through. Best of luck with it all.

sherie_in_oz

Like you we did a LOT of travelling when we first arrived and altho it was nice seeing all the different places, it really got to us in the end! We visited all the main cities but when you are moving from place to place it feels like you are a tourist and not someone starting a new life and emigrating. We eventually after 3 months found a really nice house to rent and decided to live on the gold coast and that was when things started to improve for us- and now we love it here!!!!

Most people underestimate the adjustment process and I'm so glad we stuck with the idea. It takes a lot of time and energy when you first come to make a successful move. We have been here over a year now and have done a lot of new things along the way but each new thing has given us more confidence that this is the best place for us. It was great when the kids started to school and great when we made a few friends, great when our furniture arrived and great when family came to stay, so try to see it in small steps not one big overwhelming thing and you are more likely to be successful in the end.

All the best,
Sherie

annqldau

Will do Est good to meet people like yourself who were unsettled at first but now have settled in rather her wish to 'meet anyone else in the same situation, as meeting too many people who have never settled will just increase the problem. Would agree with everyone else that settling in one spot rather than travelling around makes all the difference and there are Brisbane meets on all the time.

cranni

Dear Esther, 2 years on and i still miss family, especially at this time of the year. So would i go back , NO.
If i went back, I would be going just for family.
We made this big decision to uproot our kids to the other end of the world, they are so happy, we are now going for citizenship.
Yes some days i think "what have i done". so i go for a drive down the coast road, i sit there and think, this is the life.
Give it time and see what happens, then make your decision, so many people go back, then they come back.
Be strong, sending you a big hug,
Denise

Milo

Well Esther I really feel for you right now, Your certainly not alone as everyone on here will tell you how hard it is first off and how long it may take to settle, I have good and bad days, mainly good now that we have been here for 3 years, and yesterday (christmas day) was the best day ever, we spent it at a friends house, 30 people altogether in a traditional Aussie style, cold eats and a beach walk, but it was great, phoned the family in the UK when we got back. It just takes time and patience and eventually things start to fall into place. You haven't even began your new life yet, when you find somewhere to settle it will all come right trust me we have gone through it all. There's some great expats up there in Brisbane and I'm sure you'll have fun meeting them all.

Love and Huggs to you

If you ever head for Sydney look us up would love to have a chat.

jensteve

I had a conversation with my nan last night in the UK, we discussed being homesick and she said there are two types of people the sort who if their kids go on a school holiday they are sick with worry until they get back, she even said somewhat like an arm being taken away and this was her and she would feel physically sick if away from her family for any amount of time or there are the people that really can go off anywhere and never feel compelled to return to their original home or family.
I am the latter luckily to say, I think the homesick people manage to survive without family but always have that pull associated with the UK or wherever they come from and the likes of person similar to myself really never find a problem with leaving and really never feel that homesick, certainly not enought ever to warrant moving back.

Anyhow nan said we had made the right choice and we are much better off here, which makes it easier for me because she has said it. I may go back for a quick visit but I am really not looking forward to it at all, all that traffic and cars parked along roads, hectic shops and trolley bumping, xmas eve here at woolworths was great!

Jenny

kellyjs

Hi there
I have to agree with everyone and say that it will be hard to even start feeling settled until you stay in one place. So far its probably like a holiday and the reality when it hits you that it isnt is something that we all go through.
But you know what? Yes it is hard, bloody hard especially this time of year but look at how many expats out there answer the threads and tell us how they felt the same all that time ago and now they would never consider going back. Doesnt that make you feel like hanging in there? Because (and this is my way of thinking) nothing good ever comes easy so think of this as your initiation ceremony and as I have said umpteen times before, if that doesnt work, just hang in there for a year or so and see it as an adventure, an episode in your life where you can look back one day and say, wow I did that!! In the meantime, if you ever hit Cleveland Pm me :-)
Kelly x

ecando

So Esther ...
How do you feel now???

Pollyana

When do you reach Brissibe, and whereabout are you planning to stay ?