whilst ulujain went straight for the kill, what he (or maybe she) said was spot on. This life is yours, and you have to make whats best of it for you.

You don't know where you'll be in a year, two years, 5 years time but you have to take chances as they come along.

I think people regret things they didn't do more than mistakes they made, yes??

Good luck, theres plenty of us doing the same and having the same doubts as you,, so theres plenty of support here when you need it

:)

Marko

That is very true.

Hubby and I have done many things over the years, and don't have any regrets, apart from not coming out here 15 years ago when we had the chance, but instead made the mistake of going to Spain.

Whisky

how about buying your mum and dad a computer with web cams i know it dosent compensate for them being around but may help a little bit :)

If you really want to go and pressure from your folks is making you feel guilty then the above post is good enough advice. If, however, it's your feeling that you will desperately miss your family and the support they give you then think again. Research shows that people who have a good circle of family and friends are happier and less likely to suffer with depression. It's not an easy decision. I wish you all the best.

Re: Is this right decision???
 

Allison

we are about to go and have had an emotional w/end but still feel we are doing what is right for us at this stage, am very close to my family too so I understand totally.........but at least give it a go otherwise I think you will regret it, no one knows what is going to happen next so all best

Teresa
:)

Re: Is this right decision???
 

Alison, we are all in the same boat, ten years from now you will regret not giving it a go when you had the chance if you don't go. If you go and it works you wont look back, if it doesn't work you can also go back and at least know that you tried it. So in a nut shell you cant lose. Your family are still your family no matter where you are. Today the world is a much smaller place, you can see and talk to anyone anywhere at any time. If you dont give it a go you will regret it.

good luck Andy.

Excellent post - i particularly agree about the divide by 2 rule!

I am not 100% knowledgeable about the tax system but is seems to me to be roughly similar yet you can claim an awful lot more against your wage, etc

I agree about the 'not giving it a go' comment. I knwo so many people who ' were going to move abroad' etc etc and now wonder what their live would be like. At tthen end of the day if it all goes t*ts up - fine, come home, so what at least you can say you tried and gave it a go at living your life!!!

Dave

Thanks Darkless

Indeed, I have had UK visitors over 50 come to stay and a common statement is "I can see why you did it, if only we were younger and had our life over again we would have migrated".

That said, it's an easier decision now, you can fly back comparatively cheaply than 30 years ago, the phone bills are a lot cheaper (costs me less than 3 cents a minute to call the UK - buy a phone card), plus you have the internet, webcams, instant messenger. So the over 50's had a bit of point.

One other point - "the plane journey". Yes, it is long but your experience depends very heavily on your attitude. (Elderly and people with young kids aside) I cringe when I hear whinging pom dramas about the flight. My mum is a classic - she continually tells herself how long and awful it's going to be and guess what, she proves herself absolutely correct.

For me, I always have really good flying experiences (I used to be shit scared of flying but learnt as much as I could about how planes fly and then got over it).

So - tips for the journey (excludes those with young kiddies which I appreciate is a different ball game but even then, all my expatriate family friends don't seem to have too horrendous an experience from their reports - they go prepared):

1. Marvel at the opportunity for 22 hours of uninterrupted blissful reading and film viewing/snoozing time - no mobile phones, no email - fabuloso.
2. Don't expect to get any sleep and you won't be disappointed. I usually get about 3 hours and since that's what normally occurs I don't stress about it. If you think you are going to sleep through the night or get at least 6 hours to while away the time, you are heading for disappointment.
3. Make sure you have a variety of reading (books, mags, newspaper) and make sure the books are rivetting!! (no exceptions). Boring books make for a very boring flight.
4. Take a little drawstring bag that you can keep by your seat - in it include items such as toothbrush, mouthwash, toothpaste (you can buy mini items), eye mask, inflatable pillow, headache tablets, scooby snacks (whilst I have never really been hungry on a flight, when it's the dead of a night and the air hostesses are nowhere to be seen, at least you know you have a snack to hand, store up a couple of drinks as well, contact lense holder filled with saline, glasses, wetwipes can be useful but not essential, walkman if that's your thing, a pair of comfy wide socks in addition to the ones you are wearing - better to walk up and down the plane with and also keeps your toes warm where one pair of socks might not. You can squeeze quite a lot in a long thing draw string bag.
5. When they finish serving the last meal of the flight, eg breakfast, that's the time to head to the bathroom, brush your teeth, put your lenses back in etc. There will usually be another 1.5 hours of flying time left but if you leave it to 45 minutes or later, the queue for the bathrooms will be painfully long. Strike early - works a treat, you can relax whilst you watch the queues.
6. WALK AROUND THE PLANE - at the back of the 747's is a place you can stand, every couple of hours I will stand at the back and read a book for 20 minutes occasionally shaking my legs and feet. I find those pressure socks very very good. Don't be polite, if someone is sitting in the aisle seat, ask to get past them or simply climb over the hand rests (I am 38 years old, not a young reckless 20 something). No point risking a DVT for some British stiff upper lip. Don't be a hero and just sit there - it's not worth the health risk. If I have the aisle seat I always say to the person next to me that even if I am snoring my head off, if they want to get out they must wake me up without a second concern.

And if it still seems like a long journey (which you can break up and see some great places by the way) perform this exercise right now - look at your watch and note the time. Tomorrow, at about the same time, think back - has the time gone quickly? I bet it has. Well, had you departed London the day before, you would be in Sydney in a taxi on your way to a hotel the next time you considered the time. IT'S NOT THAT MUCH TIME at the end of the day and imagine what awaits!!! Really, the above tips should make for quite a comfortabe flight which, whilst a teeny bit long, is not all that bad. I find I look forward to it - mainly for the benefits in point 1.

H

Now we have our visas and the date of leaving seems to race towards us - I feel quite frightened at times.

I don't think there's any such thing as the right or wrong choices in life, just different routes to travel along.

I have never regretted things I have done but have regretted plenty of things I haven't.

Whilst we are lucky in that our parents wish us well for our future in Australia - I know how incredibly painful it will be for us all when we go.

We have decided that when we go we will leave both our sets of parents with enough money to pay for UK/Aus airfares so that we all know that they can definitely manage to come and see us when they want to.

Whatever you decide, I hope it all works out well for you and your family.

olive
:)

Re: Is this right decision???
 

Good news....yes its perfectly normal and i think everyone feels unsure at some stage.

Bad news...... theres no automatic "off-switch" for your concerns when you get to oz (or NZ). You will still get days when u feel unsure.

Just know its normal to have days when u are unsure, and dont read too much into your feelings. The period between three months and nine months in a new country was quite hard, but overall we are very happy and stettled.

good luck

immigration laws of western countries are getting tougher and tougher. It is alot harder for Britains to immigrate to oZ and Australians to immigrate to the Uk then it was 30 years ago.
Australia recently increased the number of points you need to immigrate. It is almost impossible to immigrate to the USA unless you marry an American.
If you decide not to immigrate to OZ and in 5 or 10 years you change your mind it may be too late, the only people allowed to immigrate here then might multi millionaires and highly skilled people such as brain surgeons.

the world is getting smaller!
 

You're ony human. We all get these emotions before coming to this place on the other side of the world.
IN the 1970's, when I came, phone calls back home were $6 for 3 minutes . . .a quid a minute! I only earnt $2 ( a quid) an hour!
I never rang my mum for 3 years, then my youngest sister picked up the phone first and gave it to mum saying there's a "Yank" on the phone!
Nowadays I ring just about once a week for $1 for 10 minutes.
I email and send digital photos and small movie clips wtih sound. I get instant photos of nephew's or neice's parties that afternoon!
It won't fully compensate, but it helps a great deal compared to how we had it years ago.

I think homesickness and missing family is a VERY big issue for some people, some people it doesn't affect and they settle no problem, some have it but can handle it and others are just so overwhelmed by the sense of loss that it is impossible for them to settle.

I think you need to decide what sort of category you fall into. Maybe you need to come here and find out for yourself and if it's too much, don't feel a failure because you need to return.

I have been here 18 months and there are times when I get that stabbing feeling that my mum should see her grandkids grow up. She misses them but she has not made as much an effort to keep in contact as I thought she would, it's all down to us. My kids don't seem to have suffered from the separation but I hope they can hold onto the memories that they have of her.

My nannie died a few years ago and I remember writing on the card that one of my earliest memories was time spent at her house threading beads for necklaces with my grandad making me prick my finger. We are taking those sort of memories away but hopefully giving them new ones but I can't say if they are better or not. It is difficult whatever you do.

Re: Is this right decision???
 

I have been going through the visa process for a year and a half and finally got my visa 3 weeks ago. I'm so excited and fly out 20 August however some days I get very sad and worried about leaving family/friends/doing the right thing etc and I know some of them wonder how I could do it. I always think it's just me and everybody else is just so grateful and happy to have a visa. I read on here the other day it probably wasn't a good idea to emmigrate if you are very close to your family which also worried me! However a friend of mine moved to brisbane 3 years ago and she's had some real testing times (mum very ill in UK/2 teenagers who almost hated her for moving them over). She came back this year to visit her mum and said to me after 2 weeks she was really looking forward to getting back to oz as she now felt it was now her home and she couldn't believe how much the UK had deteriorated. Her teenage girl actually said to her on the way from Heathrow - God mum thanks for making me move to Australia! I'm sure everybody will face quite difficult periods - i know it must be only natural - but hopefully it will get easier as time goes on and the world is a smaller place, it's not like year's ago when somebody moved to oz you never saw them again! I wish everybody all the luck in the world and hope we're all ok. We wouldn't be normal if we didn't have doubts as it's such a big thing.

Some great advice here, from everyone.

All i'd add is that parents are of a generation that still see oz and nz as incredibly difficult to visit. When my auntie emigrated 20 years ago the family all though that was it, we'd hardly ever see her again. it was like that for a long time, but these days its so much easier and cheaper to to fly both ways. My auntie is back for a holiday every year or so and I see more of her than other rellies who live down the road.

Just reassure them and yourself that you can see each other for the price of a 2 week package holiday. If it works, great. If it doesn't you can come back. dotty and a few others have done this and can give good advice, and they dont seem like worse people for their experience.

If its not normal to worry, then no-on eon here is normal!

Good luck. :D