Is this right decision???
Jun 23rd 2004, 5:59 am
#31
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: letchworth herts
Posts: 206
thanks!!
hi guys thankyou for some really good advice,i feel alot better just knowing im not the only one feeling this way
The last few days we have had the removal people round giving us some quotes,which has even more found it so real,we have 10 weeks to go before we move to perth and i am getting excited ,but also scared, my mum is convinced every time i see her its the last time,as i wasnt going to give her the date of flights,but have now but she is talking about it alot more now also my dad has come round and admits the boys will benefit alot more living in oz.
Ido have a cousin who lives in perth,she has lived there for 15 years and is setteled very much so am keeping in touch wiyh her how ever i do have a cousin who has been out there 1 yaer 3 months and has decided to come home to uk for 6 months to work out what she wants to do? however been home 4 weeksand is convinced she is staying,this worries me as they had really settled in perth,but her familly were calling her in her heart she says so we will have to see how all of us settel in our new lifes,i wish everyone all the success and good luck in there new venture many thanks once again,i am really glad i found this site its great for advice and morsl support
allison .delboys wife
The last few days we have had the removal people round giving us some quotes,which has even more found it so real,we have 10 weeks to go before we move to perth and i am getting excited ,but also scared, my mum is convinced every time i see her its the last time,as i wasnt going to give her the date of flights,but have now but she is talking about it alot more now also my dad has come round and admits the boys will benefit alot more living in oz.
Ido have a cousin who lives in perth,she has lived there for 15 years and is setteled very much so am keeping in touch wiyh her how ever i do have a cousin who has been out there 1 yaer 3 months and has decided to come home to uk for 6 months to work out what she wants to do? however been home 4 weeksand is convinced she is staying,this worries me as they had really settled in perth,but her familly were calling her in her heart she says so we will have to see how all of us settel in our new lifes,i wish everyone all the success and good luck in there new venture many thanks once again,i am really glad i found this site its great for advice and morsl support
allison .delboys wife
Jun 23rd 2004, 5:59 am
#32
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: letchworth herts
Posts: 206
thanks!!
hi guys thankyou for some really good advice,i feel alot better just knowing im not the only one feeling this way
The last few days we have had the removal people round giving us some quotes,which has even more found it so real,we have 10 weeks to go before we move to perth and i am getting excited ,but also scared, my mum is convinced every time i see her its the last time,as i wasnt going to give her the date of flights,but have now but she is talking about it alot more now also my dad has come round and admits the boys will benefit alot more living in oz.
Ido have a cousin who lives in perth,she has lived there for 15 years and is setteled very much so am keeping in touch wiyh her how ever i do have a cousin who has been out there 1 yaer 3 months and has decided to come home to uk for 6 months to work out what she wants to do? however been home 4 weeksand is convinced she is staying,this worries me as they had really settled in perth,but her familly were calling her in her heart she says so we will have to see how all of us settel in our new lifes,i wish everyone all the success and good luck in there new venture many thanks once again,i am really glad i found this site its great for advice and morsl support
allison .delboys wife
The last few days we have had the removal people round giving us some quotes,which has even more found it so real,we have 10 weeks to go before we move to perth and i am getting excited ,but also scared, my mum is convinced every time i see her its the last time,as i wasnt going to give her the date of flights,but have now but she is talking about it alot more now also my dad has come round and admits the boys will benefit alot more living in oz.
Ido have a cousin who lives in perth,she has lived there for 15 years and is setteled very much so am keeping in touch wiyh her how ever i do have a cousin who has been out there 1 yaer 3 months and has decided to come home to uk for 6 months to work out what she wants to do? however been home 4 weeksand is convinced she is staying,this worries me as they had really settled in perth,but her familly were calling her in her heart she says so we will have to see how all of us settel in our new lifes,i wish everyone all the success and good luck in there new venture many thanks once again,i am really glad i found this site its great for advice and morsl support
allison .delboys wife
Jun 23rd 2004, 6:03 am
#33
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Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: letchworth herts
Posts: 206
whoops!!
WHoops!!! so sorry for bad typing its abit early!!!
Jun 23rd 2004, 9:35 am
#34
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 241
Re: whoops!!
Hi Guys
I read all these posts with interest, as most follow the same themes...................if you've got the chance, take it, try it..........some poor sods (like me) are struggling to find ways to get to Oz, so all things being equal, i would love to be in all your shoes, and faced with such a wonderful dilemma
. All I can say is that lifes along time...............you've got to try as many things as you can.............and good luck with all your endeavours
Regards.
I read all these posts with interest, as most follow the same themes...................if you've got the chance, take it, try it..........some poor sods (like me) are struggling to find ways to get to Oz, so all things being equal, i would love to be in all your shoes, and faced with such a wonderful dilemma
. All I can say is that lifes along time...............you've got to try as many things as you can.............and good luck with all your endeavoursRegards.
Jun 23rd 2004, 10:08 am
#35
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 987
Originally posted by RAG62
Dear Alison,
I have had the same feelings as you. My wife is keen to go to Aus and so was I until this week when I got "cold feet". With a good home, nice neighbourhood and 3 children to think about all of school age I am now really not so sure that Aus is the big break that I thought it was going to be.
You read the Return to the uk forum and you can see that it is not all hunky dorey down under. In particular education, standard of living and career prospects seem to be worse than in the UK. Suddenly the attraction of hot weather loses its gloss.
The only sure way is to try it for a while but I am in the position where I cant really afford to go there and come back if I dont like it. If we sold the house in the uK we would not be able to buy a similar one should we return due to house price inflation.
Oh woe , woe woe.
Richard
Dear Alison,
I have had the same feelings as you. My wife is keen to go to Aus and so was I until this week when I got "cold feet". With a good home, nice neighbourhood and 3 children to think about all of school age I am now really not so sure that Aus is the big break that I thought it was going to be.
You read the Return to the uk forum and you can see that it is not all hunky dorey down under. In particular education, standard of living and career prospects seem to be worse than in the UK. Suddenly the attraction of hot weather loses its gloss.
The only sure way is to try it for a while but I am in the position where I cant really afford to go there and come back if I dont like it. If we sold the house in the uK we would not be able to buy a similar one should we return due to house price inflation.
Oh woe , woe woe.
Richard
Jun 23rd 2004, 10:43 am
#36
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5
I am not aware of the circumstances clearly, but do you have to sell your house - could you not rent it and rent over here until you see whether you like it or not?
Be aware also that this approach may mean that you may be able to get access to a very favourable tax break in Oz called the "Living Away from Home Allowance" (if you are likely to be employed by an employer). The expats rave about this pretty lucrative tax break - inter alia, you have to retain a home in the UK and have the intention to return. Generally, up to 4 years is the max you can get the LAFHA for. Intention is difficult to measure but selling your home in the UK will mean that you will not get the LAFHA.
I wish we had never sold our flat in London in 1997!!! (But hey ho - it's been a glorious day in Sydney today).
Be aware also that this approach may mean that you may be able to get access to a very favourable tax break in Oz called the "Living Away from Home Allowance" (if you are likely to be employed by an employer). The expats rave about this pretty lucrative tax break - inter alia, you have to retain a home in the UK and have the intention to return. Generally, up to 4 years is the max you can get the LAFHA for. Intention is difficult to measure but selling your home in the UK will mean that you will not get the LAFHA.
I wish we had never sold our flat in London in 1997!!! (But hey ho - it's been a glorious day in Sydney today).
Jun 23rd 2004, 10:50 am
#37
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5
...and Perth is very isolated. It took us 3.5 days to drive from Perth to Melbourne and I can tell you, there ain't much in between (except Adelaide).
It took even more time to drive from blissful Broome to Perth (and there is nothing in between barring a few towns).
Perth is a wonderful city but its isolation I imagine would tend to compound any sense of homesickness. That said, there are many poms and south africans living there and loving it. For me, being on the arse end of the world in Sydney is one thing, being on the arse end in Perth is for the truly committed.
But then I like travelling and getting out and seeing new things and I sometimes find even Sydney a bit limiting for that so Perth would not suit me. But if you are a homebody and don't need to wander very much, I imagine it would be ideal.
It took even more time to drive from blissful Broome to Perth (and there is nothing in between barring a few towns).
Perth is a wonderful city but its isolation I imagine would tend to compound any sense of homesickness. That said, there are many poms and south africans living there and loving it. For me, being on the arse end of the world in Sydney is one thing, being on the arse end in Perth is for the truly committed.
But then I like travelling and getting out and seeing new things and I sometimes find even Sydney a bit limiting for that so Perth would not suit me. But if you are a homebody and don't need to wander very much, I imagine it would be ideal.
Jun 23rd 2004, 7:52 pm
#38
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Joined: May 2004
Location: UK, Cheshire
Posts: 321
Originally posted by Dreamaway 10
Richard know exactly what you mean.We too are in a position that if we do not like it it will be extremly difficult for us to return because of the house prices once you are off the rung of the ladder in the UK it will not be easy to get back on or find a house the same as you had when you left.Loads of doubts neverthe less we shall still go .Have to give it a try.Feeling down today as the weather is awful.
Richard know exactly what you mean.We too are in a position that if we do not like it it will be extremly difficult for us to return because of the house prices once you are off the rung of the ladder in the UK it will not be easy to get back on or find a house the same as you had when you left.Loads of doubts neverthe less we shall still go .Have to give it a try.Feeling down today as the weather is awful.
I'm a bit of a realist (my wife calls me a pessimist.. amongst other things) and I just know that it aint all going to be rosey but I suppose it isnt all rosey in UK either. I think it all depends where you are starting from - if you have a lot to lose then it's a bigger gamble than if you are say young, free, single (ah, those were the days my friend......) and can afford to take the risk. I know that sounds like Aus is a very risky place but I'm the type of chap that likes security- not much of a risk taker.
Having said all that (and I do go on at times ), when the weather is lousy like it is today and you have a stinker of a day at work then a change is required. Keeping the house here in the UK is an option worth considering but then means I would have to get a job in Aus as well as my wife working ......I think I have just lost any sympathy votes out there.
Did anyone else have BIG doubts before they went, or were you all 100% sure?
Richard
Jun 23rd 2004, 7:57 pm
#39
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2004
Location: UK, Cheshire
Posts: 321
Originally posted by hwiseman
I am not aware of the circumstances clearly, but do you have to sell your house - could you not rent it and rent over here until you see whether you like it or not?
Be aware also that this approach may mean that you may be able to get access to a very favourable tax break in Oz called the "Living Away from Home Allowance" (if you are likely to be employed by an employer). The expats rave about this pretty lucrative tax break - inter alia, you have to retain a home in the UK and have the intention to return. Generally, up to 4 years is the max you can get the LAFHA for. Intention is difficult to measure but selling your home in the UK will mean that you will not get the LAFHA.
I wish we had never sold our flat in London in 1997!!! (But hey ho - it's been a glorious day in Sydney today).
I am not aware of the circumstances clearly, but do you have to sell your house - could you not rent it and rent over here until you see whether you like it or not?
Be aware also that this approach may mean that you may be able to get access to a very favourable tax break in Oz called the "Living Away from Home Allowance" (if you are likely to be employed by an employer). The expats rave about this pretty lucrative tax break - inter alia, you have to retain a home in the UK and have the intention to return. Generally, up to 4 years is the max you can get the LAFHA for. Intention is difficult to measure but selling your home in the UK will mean that you will not get the LAFHA.
I wish we had never sold our flat in London in 1997!!! (But hey ho - it's been a glorious day in Sydney today).
Very interesting - was not aware of this. Any idea where can get more details. Would this still be available even if you apply for a permanent residency visa?
Richard
Jun 23rd 2004, 8:22 pm
#40
home again, home again
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Notts to Perth, Perth to Notts
Posts: 1,748
Re: Is this right decision???
HOW can i leave them behind when they are a big part of my life and familly 
But i know ive got to do this for my boys future and ourselves,
Allison [/QUOTE]
I hope you can make a decision that makes you feel better. I do however disagree with the statement about moving to OZ for the future of your boys.
OZ is a beautiful place but holds nothing more than any other country does for bringing up children. My daughter certainly won't suffer being bought up here in the UK rather than Perth.
However she would have suffered more in OZ due to loosing her family (grandparents atc) and it is loosing them because emailing and telephone calls are not the same at all.
If you are very close to your family like you sound as though you are I think you will struggle to settle. I didn't realise how much my family meant to me until we left them behind.
It is a hard decision and I hope you can decide, have you boys any thoughts about leaving behing grandparents etc?
But i know ive got to do this for my boys future and ourselves,
Allison [/QUOTE]
I hope you can make a decision that makes you feel better. I do however disagree with the statement about moving to OZ for the future of your boys.
OZ is a beautiful place but holds nothing more than any other country does for bringing up children. My daughter certainly won't suffer being bought up here in the UK rather than Perth.
However she would have suffered more in OZ due to loosing her family (grandparents atc) and it is loosing them because emailing and telephone calls are not the same at all.
If you are very close to your family like you sound as though you are I think you will struggle to settle. I didn't realise how much my family meant to me until we left them behind.
It is a hard decision and I hope you can decide, have you boys any thoughts about leaving behing grandparents etc?
Jun 23rd 2004, 8:35 pm
#41
Came Back 2003
Joined: Sep 2001
Location: Home & Settled
Posts: 659
Re: Is this right decision???
[/QUOTE] I hope you can make a decision that makes you feel better. I do however disagree with the statement about moving to OZ for the future of your boys.
OZ is a beautiful place but holds nothing more than any other country does for bringing up children. My daughter certainly won't suffer being bought up here in the UK rather than Perth.
However she would have suffered more in OZ due to loosing her family (grandparents atc) and it is loosing them because emailing and telephone calls are not the same at all.
If you are very close to your family like you sound as though you are I think you will struggle to settle. I didn't realise how much my family meant to me until we left them behind.
It is a hard decision and I hope you can decide, have you boys any thoughts about leaving behing grandparents etc? [/QUOTE]
Here here Janeyray, totally agree with you. I also didn't realise how much my family meant to me until I was in Oz and we are not a family who get together a lot. We used to speak a lot on the phone etc so thought going to Oz and speaking on the phone wouldn't be any different, sorry but there was no comparison because before if I wanted to go to see them I could jump in the car and within half an hour I was there couldn't do this in Oz and it was an awful feeling.
OZ is a beautiful place but holds nothing more than any other country does for bringing up children. My daughter certainly won't suffer being bought up here in the UK rather than Perth.
However she would have suffered more in OZ due to loosing her family (grandparents atc) and it is loosing them because emailing and telephone calls are not the same at all.
If you are very close to your family like you sound as though you are I think you will struggle to settle. I didn't realise how much my family meant to me until we left them behind.
It is a hard decision and I hope you can decide, have you boys any thoughts about leaving behing grandparents etc? [/QUOTE]
Here here Janeyray, totally agree with you. I also didn't realise how much my family meant to me until I was in Oz and we are not a family who get together a lot. We used to speak a lot on the phone etc so thought going to Oz and speaking on the phone wouldn't be any different, sorry but there was no comparison because before if I wanted to go to see them I could jump in the car and within half an hour I was there couldn't do this in Oz and it was an awful feeling.
Jun 23rd 2004, 9:02 pm
#42
home again, home again
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Notts to Perth, Perth to Notts
Posts: 1,748
Re: Is this right decision???
Originally posted by heading downunder 2002
We used to speak a lot on the phone etc so thought going to Oz and speaking on the phone wouldn't be any different, sorry but there was no comparison because before if I wanted to go to see them I could jump in the car and within half an hour I was there couldn't do this in Oz and it was an awful feeling.
We used to speak a lot on the phone etc so thought going to Oz and speaking on the phone wouldn't be any different, sorry but there was no comparison because before if I wanted to go to see them I could jump in the car and within half an hour I was there couldn't do this in Oz and it was an awful feeling.
I didn't tell her that it makes it worse that you can't just 'pop' around when you feel down, talking on the phone and certainly sending emails does not make up at all for not being with family
The ones that seem to make OZ a permanent home are the ones that don't have family or have enough money to fly back to visit every year. That with most of us is not an option I'am sure?
Jun 23rd 2004, 9:08 pm
#43
small steps long journey
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: A river somewhere
Posts: 3,451
Re: Is this right decision???
Originally posted by janeyray
The ones that seem to make OZ a permanent home are the ones that don't have family or have enough money to fly back to visit every year
The ones that seem to make OZ a permanent home are the ones that don't have family or have enough money to fly back to visit every year
Jun 23rd 2004, 9:20 pm
#44
home again, home again
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Notts to Perth, Perth to Notts
Posts: 1,748
Re: Is this right decision???
Originally posted by seang
or maybe they actually enjoy Australia
or maybe they actually enjoy Australia
I don't think they'd stay if they didn't. I was just saying it takes a kind of person to actually make the move to go to OZ, but it takes another kind of person to stay. The ones who stay seem to be (from ones I've actually met in OZ) the ones who either aren't close to family or have no family.
Jun 23rd 2004, 9:21 pm
#45
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Near Duloc
Posts: 4,638
Originally posted by hwiseman
Thanks Darkless
Indeed, I have had UK visitors over 50 come to stay and a common statement is "I can see why you did it, if only we were younger and had our life over again we would have migrated".
That said, it's an easier decision now, you can fly back comparatively cheaply than 30 years ago, the phone bills are a lot cheaper (costs me less than 3 cents a minute to call the UK - buy a phone card), plus you have the internet, webcams, instant messenger. So the over 50's had a bit of point.
One other point - "the plane journey". Yes, it is long but your experience depends very heavily on your attitude. (Elderly and people with young kids aside) I cringe when I hear whinging pom dramas about the flight. My mum is a classic - she continually tells herself how long and awful it's going to be and guess what, she proves herself absolutely correct.
For me, I always have really good flying experiences (I used to be shit scared of flying but learnt as much as I could about how planes fly and then got over it).
So - tips for the journey (excludes those with young kiddies which I appreciate is a different ball game but even then, all my expatriate family friends don't seem to have too horrendous an experience from their reports - they go prepared):
1. Marvel at the opportunity for 22 hours of uninterrupted blissful reading and film viewing/snoozing time - no mobile phones, no email - fabuloso.
2. Don't expect to get any sleep and you won't be disappointed. I usually get about 3 hours and since that's what normally occurs I don't stress about it. If you think you are going to sleep through the night or get at least 6 hours to while away the time, you are heading for disappointment.
3. Make sure you have a variety of reading (books, mags, newspaper) and make sure the books are rivetting!! (no exceptions). Boring books make for a very boring flight.
4. Take a little drawstring bag that you can keep by your seat - in it include items such as toothbrush, mouthwash, toothpaste (you can buy mini items), eye mask, inflatable pillow, headache tablets, scooby snacks (whilst I have never really been hungry on a flight, when it's the dead of a night and the air hostesses are nowhere to be seen, at least you know you have a snack to hand, store up a couple of drinks as well, contact lense holder filled with saline, glasses, wetwipes can be useful but not essential, walkman if that's your thing, a pair of comfy wide socks in addition to the ones you are wearing - better to walk up and down the plane with and also keeps your toes warm where one pair of socks might not. You can squeeze quite a lot in a long thing draw string bag.
5. When they finish serving the last meal of the flight, eg breakfast, that's the time to head to the bathroom, brush your teeth, put your lenses back in etc. There will usually be another 1.5 hours of flying time left but if you leave it to 45 minutes or later, the queue for the bathrooms will be painfully long. Strike early - works a treat, you can relax whilst you watch the queues.
6. WALK AROUND THE PLANE - at the back of the 747's is a place you can stand, every couple of hours I will stand at the back and read a book for 20 minutes occasionally shaking my legs and feet. I find those pressure socks very very good. Don't be polite, if someone is sitting in the aisle seat, ask to get past them or simply climb over the hand rests (I am 38 years old, not a young reckless 20 something). No point risking a DVT for some British stiff upper lip. Don't be a hero and just sit there - it's not worth the health risk. If I have the aisle seat I always say to the person next to me that even if I am snoring my head off, if they want to get out they must wake me up without a second concern.
And if it still seems like a long journey (which you can break up and see some great places by the way) perform this exercise right now - look at your watch and note the time. Tomorrow, at about the same time, think back - has the time gone quickly? I bet it has. Well, had you departed London the day before, you would be in Sydney in a taxi on your way to a hotel the next time you considered the time. IT'S NOT THAT MUCH TIME at the end of the day and imagine what awaits!!! Really, the above tips should make for quite a comfortabe flight which, whilst a teeny bit long, is not all that bad. I find I look forward to it - mainly for the benefits in point 1.
H
Thanks Darkless
Indeed, I have had UK visitors over 50 come to stay and a common statement is "I can see why you did it, if only we were younger and had our life over again we would have migrated".
That said, it's an easier decision now, you can fly back comparatively cheaply than 30 years ago, the phone bills are a lot cheaper (costs me less than 3 cents a minute to call the UK - buy a phone card), plus you have the internet, webcams, instant messenger. So the over 50's had a bit of point.
One other point - "the plane journey". Yes, it is long but your experience depends very heavily on your attitude. (Elderly and people with young kids aside) I cringe when I hear whinging pom dramas about the flight. My mum is a classic - she continually tells herself how long and awful it's going to be and guess what, she proves herself absolutely correct.
For me, I always have really good flying experiences (I used to be shit scared of flying but learnt as much as I could about how planes fly and then got over it).
So - tips for the journey (excludes those with young kiddies which I appreciate is a different ball game but even then, all my expatriate family friends don't seem to have too horrendous an experience from their reports - they go prepared):
1. Marvel at the opportunity for 22 hours of uninterrupted blissful reading and film viewing/snoozing time - no mobile phones, no email - fabuloso.
2. Don't expect to get any sleep and you won't be disappointed. I usually get about 3 hours and since that's what normally occurs I don't stress about it. If you think you are going to sleep through the night or get at least 6 hours to while away the time, you are heading for disappointment.
3. Make sure you have a variety of reading (books, mags, newspaper) and make sure the books are rivetting!! (no exceptions). Boring books make for a very boring flight.
4. Take a little drawstring bag that you can keep by your seat - in it include items such as toothbrush, mouthwash, toothpaste (you can buy mini items), eye mask, inflatable pillow, headache tablets, scooby snacks (whilst I have never really been hungry on a flight, when it's the dead of a night and the air hostesses are nowhere to be seen, at least you know you have a snack to hand, store up a couple of drinks as well, contact lense holder filled with saline, glasses, wetwipes can be useful but not essential, walkman if that's your thing, a pair of comfy wide socks in addition to the ones you are wearing - better to walk up and down the plane with and also keeps your toes warm where one pair of socks might not. You can squeeze quite a lot in a long thing draw string bag.
5. When they finish serving the last meal of the flight, eg breakfast, that's the time to head to the bathroom, brush your teeth, put your lenses back in etc. There will usually be another 1.5 hours of flying time left but if you leave it to 45 minutes or later, the queue for the bathrooms will be painfully long. Strike early - works a treat, you can relax whilst you watch the queues.
6. WALK AROUND THE PLANE - at the back of the 747's is a place you can stand, every couple of hours I will stand at the back and read a book for 20 minutes occasionally shaking my legs and feet. I find those pressure socks very very good. Don't be polite, if someone is sitting in the aisle seat, ask to get past them or simply climb over the hand rests (I am 38 years old, not a young reckless 20 something). No point risking a DVT for some British stiff upper lip. Don't be a hero and just sit there - it's not worth the health risk. If I have the aisle seat I always say to the person next to me that even if I am snoring my head off, if they want to get out they must wake me up without a second concern.
And if it still seems like a long journey (which you can break up and see some great places by the way) perform this exercise right now - look at your watch and note the time. Tomorrow, at about the same time, think back - has the time gone quickly? I bet it has. Well, had you departed London the day before, you would be in Sydney in a taxi on your way to a hotel the next time you considered the time. IT'S NOT THAT MUCH TIME at the end of the day and imagine what awaits!!! Really, the above tips should make for quite a comfortabe flight which, whilst a teeny bit long, is not all that bad. I find I look forward to it - mainly for the benefits in point 1.
H
Thankyou
Larissa