lme30005

Hi
Hoping some of you lovely people can give me some clarity on my worries and whether I've done the right thing or not
DH got offered a great job in Sydney on more money for someone he likes working for. It all came a bit out of the blue so I just couldn't make the decision to go. Now I'm wondering if I made the right decision - its possibly not too late to go.

My main worries are:
1)Kids schooling - will they have to repeat work in schools, get bored etc. Would private schools be a better option to keep them interested so they are not behind going back to UK in a few years?
2)Spiders! Are there a lot? I think I would freak out if a huntsman was in my bed
3)I've never been to Oz before and I wouldnt know anyone or have anyone to help with my 4 DCs. I don't want to be there feeling lonely and resenting my DS while he's at work. It could put a lot of strain on our marriage.

Everyone I've spoken to thinks I'm mad to have turned it down, now I'm wondering if I've made the wrong decision based on neurotic worries.
Any advice/info on how great Sydney is would be appreciated
Thanks
Louise

General Tojo

Hi Louise

In a previous post you mentioned "The children/education/leaving behind friends and family are the things stopping me wanting to go." - fair enough as those are huge huge issues but importantly how enthusiastic is/was hubby about making the move? Did he try to persuade you to go?

lme30005

Hi

Yes hubby did really want to go and tried to persuade me but I think he only sees the bigger picture and not the little details and problems, whereas I probably obsess over the possible problems too much!
I don't want to regret not going and an adventure might be good for the kids, but my life isn't so bad here.
I don't see it being a long term thing so could come back in a few years anyway.
Decisions decisions

heldownunder

Dont let spiders stop you

I am so phobic I cry

But firthnately on the whole spiders live outside you live inside (1 spuder inside in 1.25 yrs- would have had more in uk..)
Obviously dont live rural or go in my garden shed!!

As for friends etc you'll make new fab ones I am sure.
Family is a huge problem still hate taking kids away from grand kids they are here now and go back friday (we r headn to uk in december) but its sad to see them all upset ...

But

Do i regret it NO

heldownunder

Ohhh meant kids from grandparents ...

PunkDebutante

I really don't understand the idea that Australian schools are so far behind the UK schools. The only thing my kids have repeated is that the school years didn't align and had finished a school year in the UK and then had to finish the year out in Australian as it would have been stupid to put them halfway through a grade higher and putting them behind.

Spiders... we have had a huntsman in the bathroom and then had our landlord respray for spiders and other creatures and no more have come through. Besides the huntsman we have encountered no more spiders than in our thatched roof home in the UK... they are just a bit bigger.

concretepump

hi, i know its not oz, but we moved to nz in 07 and it was all a bit quick my wife was not sure about going, but went with the Flo one minute were in uk next were in nz, she could not get a job in nine months tried every day any way we could not sell house so both agreed to come back to uk , now five years on we have lots more friends in nz have been offered my job back so looking more than not we will be going back, the first thing you should do is go for a hoilday, just take your time and make sure its the move for you you might just like it

lme30005

Concretepump - I would love to go and visit but we just don't have the time as hubby would have to go asap. Its very hard to think about living somewhere you've never been before. The fear of the unknown I guess
Punkdebutante - I'm only going on what I've read from others about the schools - was hoping that not all the schools are like that.
Heldownunder - good to hear about the spiders, hopefully spraying could be the answer to getting rid of most of the little critters.

Lisa and Martin

In answer to your questions:

1) Kids schools, I don't know the age of your kids but the curriculum is bound to be a bit different. Friends with older children have told me that the schools are very open to discussions about which year is most suitable for your child to be entered into - some brought children from the UK, some from South Africa. There are some excellent private schools here, cheaper than the UK but multiply that by 4 and it will add up, then there's the extras like uniforms etc, however there may be some tax breaks available on school fees. A big plus is that your children will probably spend a lot more time outside playing sports and just being kids, whichever school you send them to.
2) Spiders - the concept is far worse than the reality. You get your house sprayed annually and spray outdoor furniture / bins yourself. I used to be concerned but then I saw the pool maintenance man crawling in the dark space where the pool pump is, the gardener strolling through the undergrowth, and figured out I was worrying unnecessarily. You make little changes like I don't go outside at night without having shoes on. If you do ever get here go to the Reptile Park north of Sydney and watch their spider talk, they will show you how to fearlessly catch a funnel web, and how they milk the antivenom. Fascinating stuff.
3) Not knowing anyone, well that's difficult and can take time, especially if you start off with the mindset that the move is not permanant anyway. It's a weird thing to be doing when you are an adult but you have to put yourself out there to make friends and go to every event available. Most people won't be your cup of tea, but some will. I made friends through Expats websites (this and another), mothers groups, there is also a website called Meetup to find people with similar interests in your area.

I have been here 2 years and love it, you couldn't drag me back, even though I do miss my family I have a much better life here. I had my first baby 6 months ago and I really feel this is such a lovely place to bring up a child, though others may disagree, I think the facilities are fantastic. However if you do tend towards overworrying about things you may have to face facts that such a big life change is just not for you, but I would advise that if you decide to go ahead, do it wholeheartedly, it won't work if you just stick your toe in the water and don't really commit.

lme30005

Thanks that really helps, I notice you are in St Ives? I think we would be aiming to live in that area or Northern Beaches so it's good to hear you like it so much.
I think I'm only thinking its a short term thing as I can't imagine living anywhere else long term. After a while I might love it and not want to leave, so lots of people have said to me.
The kids are 7,6,3 and 1 so I would need to look into pre-schools/nurseries aswell. I don't know how stressful it would be to find somewhere for all of them.
I do think the spider situation can't be that bad - hopefully that's one of my worries over nothing

tiredwithtwins

If you know its only going to be for a few years, then do it.

please dont be like me and spend every day regretting not taking the opportunity when it was there ... it really is something very difficult to live with, believe me.

quoll

Assuming this is going to be a temporary visa - your kids are going to cost you $4.5k pa each in a government school so be sure to factor that into your calculations.

If you arent a selfish and self sufficient person then you are probably going to struggle and the North Shore can be very cliquey. Will you be wanting a job? If so, be aware that partners on temporary visas havent had the easiest of times getting positions

Your kids are young enough that you probably wont screw them up by going for a short while although the older they are the more likely they are to need some boosting to get back to their UK peers. If they are heavily enmeshed with their extended family then dont underestimate the stresses of being separated from the family (hence the need for self sufficiency).

However, if this is a good opportunity and good for the career pathway then go for it, it doesnt have to be forever.