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question for those struggling with their move here

question for those struggling with their move here

Old Mar 16th 2008, 11:03 am
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Default question for those struggling with their move here

Everyone here says they're having the time of their life since they moved here. My wife and I have been here now for almost three years. Mic is loving it, I can't say I hate it but I'm sure struggling with this place. I look around and can see the beauty and potential, basking in the warm sun is heaven... but I have never been so unhappy. I'm not the most exuberant person around that's for sure but never had such a low as this either.

I'm not feeling trapped but going home isn't an option. It would crush my wife I think beyond forgiveness. And I'm in it with her for the long haul.

I think I'm fairly normal in that I follow the usual characteristics of the average person (if that makes sense), so maybe this is normal and it will pass in due time (but right now it feels like crap). Did most out there struggle with the move. If so how long till it resolved itself in your mind.

Enquiring minds want to know.
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Old Mar 16th 2008, 9:27 pm
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

Feeling this way is certainly normal. For some it passes and for others it doesnt and you get stuck here. Only way to survive really is to live in the moment and fake it til you make it with positive thinking.

Some of us never belong here - life is more than sunshine and beaches unfortunately! Talk to your OH and let her know how you are feeling though, she could be having similar feelings and not wanting to let you know!

As one who is stuck here, you have my sympathies (and dont anyone tell me to go home, I would if I could but I cant so I wont!!!)
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Old Mar 16th 2008, 10:25 pm
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

Hi Mat

Sent you a PM

Cheers
Andy
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Old Mar 17th 2008, 11:55 am
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

Originally Posted by mic n mat
Everyone here says they're having the time of their life since they moved here. My wife and I have been here now for almost three years. Mic is loving it, I can't say I hate it but I'm sure struggling with this place. I look around and can see the beauty and potential, basking in the warm sun is heaven... but I have never been so unhappy. I'm not the most exuberant person around that's for sure but never had such a low as this either.

I'm not feeling trapped but going home isn't an option. It would crush my wife I think beyond forgiveness. And I'm in it with her for the long haul.

I think I'm fairly normal in that I follow the usual characteristics of the average person (if that makes sense), so maybe this is normal and it will pass in due time (but right now it feels like crap). Did most out there struggle with the move. If so how long till it resolved itself in your mind.

Enquiring minds want to know.
I tend to flip between feeling settled to wondering about moving back , maybe its still early days, been here 9 months now

Anybody else like this?? C x
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 3:50 am
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

Originally Posted by mic n mat
Everyone here says they're having the time of their life since they moved here. My wife and I have been here now for almost three years. Mic is loving it, I can't say I hate it but I'm sure struggling with this place. I look around and can see the beauty and potential, basking in the warm sun is heaven... but I have never been so unhappy. I'm not the most exuberant person around that's for sure but never had such a low as this either.

I'm not feeling trapped but going home isn't an option. It would crush my wife I think beyond forgiveness. And I'm in it with her for the long haul.

I think I'm fairly normal in that I follow the usual characteristics of the average person (if that makes sense), so maybe this is normal and it will pass in due time (but right now it feels like crap). Did most out there struggle with the move. If so how long till it resolved itself in your mind.

Enquiring minds want to know.


Sorry to read that you are feeling so unhappy even after three years. Perhaps you may benefit from a little grief counselling. It may be you have some unresolved grief at leaving UK that you have to identify and get out of your system. Not sure in which part of OZ you live but perhaps if you have an understanding GP and she/he can put you in touch with a good counsellor.

I know a number of younger friends had similar feelings until they made a trip "home" and realised that not only had they changed but home and friends had changed too, and what they were holding on to about home was no longer there.

All the best to you and I hope things change for the better soon.
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 11:13 am
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

Originally Posted by quoll
Feeling this way is certainly normal. For some it passes and for others it doesnt and you get stuck here. Only way to survive really is to live in the moment and fake it til you make it with positive thinking.

Some of us never belong here - life is more than sunshine and beaches unfortunately! Talk to your OH and let her know how you are feeling though, she could be having similar feelings and not wanting to let you know!

As one who is stuck here, you have my sympathies (and dont anyone tell me to go home, I would if I could but I cant so I wont!!!)

I read another post here some time back that someone had said to not compare where you left from (notice I didn't say home ) to where you are now... It was a very timely read for me. It ran so true. In someways there is a need to almost forget what was and start again with the new adventure. And you saying that living in the moment is a big part of that. Problem is though, I a comparer and always try to map out a path or future LOL. But change is good. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger - or you get skin cancer, eaten by a croc, bitten by a brown... and die anyways LOL.
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 11:18 am
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

Originally Posted by dalhousie
Sorry to read that you are feeling so unhappy even after three years. Perhaps you may benefit from a little grief counselling. It may be you have some unresolved grief at leaving UK that you have to identify and get out of your system. Not sure in which part of OZ you live but perhaps if you have an understanding GP and she/he can put you in touch with a good counsellor.

I know a number of younger friends had similar feelings until they made a trip "home" and realised that not only had they changed but home and friends had changed too, and what they were holding on to about home was no longer there.

All the best to you and I hope things change for the better soon.

I've heard a many say going back is an eye opener and they feel better about returning. We're going back for a couple weeks in June. I think it'll help simply because it'll still be colder there than here.
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 11:26 am
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

I think it's important to remember whether you are stuck here or not, just how brave and adventurous you've been just to get to this point. Some people are too scared to move a muscle away from what they've always known, but you've stepped out and done something new. I wish you all the very best for the future, whatever that may hold and wherever you might be.
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 12:17 pm
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

I totally agree with the poster who wrote saying go for grief counselling! it is grieving you go through, homesickness is horrible I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy

I came back and its hard to re-settle, you start pining for your life bk in OZ-you cant win,lol

Get help!

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Old Mar 18th 2008, 12:22 pm
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

bluekipper? can only mean 1 thing, COYB! NSNO.
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 1:06 pm
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WOT ?????
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 1:08 pm
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

LOL oh yeah, its hubby`s name 4 this website,lol
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 2:09 pm
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

THE MIGHTY BLUES...............
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Old Mar 18th 2008, 4:04 pm
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So your a blues fan I take it,lol
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Old Mar 19th 2008, 11:58 am
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Default Re: question for those struggling with their move here

Originally Posted by mic n mat
I've heard a many say going back is an eye opener and they feel better about returning. We're going back for a couple weeks in June. I think it'll help simply because it'll still be colder there than here.
I do hope so, as we are off to the UK in June, could do with a reminder why we made the move too. C x
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