DunRoaminTheUK

We are just over 1 month away from our planned departure to Brisbane to start our new life.

The thing is that, over the weekend, I have experienced a serious bout of apprehension, worry and generally feeling sh*t scared about the whole thing. I've never experienced feelings and emotions this strong at any time during the whole process.

At the moment I seem to have a little devil perched on my shoulder who is constantly playing devils advocate with me and providing me with 1001 reasons as to why we shouldn't go. I just feel really, really vulnerable. I think that our house sale exchange has triggered these feelings as we are closer to the point of no return (well, homeless soon anyway)...

My biggest fears are that (a) my wife will be unhappy, homesick and depressed and that (b) I won't be able to find a job and hence care for my wife and my 1 year old boy.

The rug of comfort and safety is about to be unceremoniously pulled from under our feet only to be replaced with a doormat of uncertainty, unfamiliarity and remoteness. This is a very scary feeling.

Anyone else in this proverbial boat?

Sam

yeap!

i'm worried that Alan wont find a job or one that will pay the bills when we get there.

i won't find a job that fits in with the kids

the surveyor (who came fri) found so many problems our buyer pulls out

they don't get their mortgage offer because of the survey

the kids will hate it over there
i will hate it over there
alan hates it over there and leaves us to come home

shall i go on, or stop now :scared:

Wendy

No you should stop now

The only fear I have is that my buyer pulls out and we are left trying to find another one. Other than that, I have no worries at all. I will just do what I always do and get on with things.

After 2 and half years of living on £110 a week while Gareth did his C&G course in 1992, (no I wasn't paid a lot then was I ) I can cope with money being tight and I will do whatever I have to do to make it all work.

phoenixinoz

Nope. But I have been at one time. Alongside thousands of others

What you are going through is absolutely 100% normal. You'd be a raving lunatic if this moving 12,000 miles malarkey didn't create some sort of upset / concern

I'd be romancing if I said you will have a worry free time, jobs will fall at your feet, and the wife will be deliriously happy. What I will say though, is with a lot of hard work, a smidgen of reality and a sprinkling of good luck... you'll come through it and in a couple of years you may look back and thank the lord you took this opportunity by the balls and legged it

Good luck m8.....you'll be right

Wendy

That'll be me then

Although, I'm not on the plane yet :scared:

phoenixinoz

You only start to worry when hubby has to prise you off the wings of the aeroplane when you refuse to take off

sj oldfield

Try not to worry too much........what you are feeling is perfectly normal. It is something we have all felt, and yeah, it is bloody scarey.
The next few weeks will seem unreal to you....but things will start to settle down once you sort your self out here in Oz.

DunRoaminTheUK

Thanks for all of the kind advice everyone. It is very re-assuring to read these replies and does make me feel less apprehensive and more positive.

Cheers,

phoenixinoz

Good onya

KEV.W

HI,
YES, I WENT THROUGH THE SAME FEELINGS THREE YEARS AGO THIS JULY, AND CANCELLED THE CONTAINER TWO DAYS BEFORE IT WAS DUE TO ARRIVE, AND TO THIS DAY IM REGRETING NOT GOING (PERTH). IT THREW EVERYTHING INTO TERMOIL AS WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO COMPLETE ON OUR HOUSE SALE AND HAD NO HOUSE TO GO TO. WE HAD TO MOVE INTO A PARK HOLIDAY MOBILE HOME FOR EIGHT WEEKS (£300 PER WEEK) WHILE WE BOUGHT A NEW HOME. THE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA THAT IT PUT MYSELF,MY WIFE AND OUR TWO TEENAGE KIDS THROUGH WAS UNBELEIVABLE, ESPECIALLY LIVING IN SUCH CLOSE CONFINES FOR EIGHT WEEKS, IM SUPRISED THAT WE ARE STILL TOGETHER !!
THE REASON FOR CANCELLING ? - OUR DAUGHTER (16 AT THE TIME) DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO AUSTRALIA AND DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HER FRIENDS ! MY WIFE (TRACY) BEING A SUPPORTIVE MUM, FELT THE MATERNAL NEED TO BACK OUR DAUGHTER ALL THE WAY, WHICH CAUSED MANY ARGUEMENTS DURING THE THREE YEARS LEADING UP TO OUR MIGRATION AND I REALISED THAT I COULDN'T FORCE THEM INTO GOING - HENCE THE SUDDEN CANCELLATION. (WHICH COST ME A SMALL FORTUNE). PLEASE NOTE THAT OUR DAUGHTER DOESN'T HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH ANY OF THAT GROUP OF FRIENDS NOW !!!
ANYWAY, WE NOW HAVE A MUCH BIGGER MORTGAGE THAN BEFORE - AS OPPOSED TO NOT HAVING A MORTGAGE IN AUSTRALIA AND I STILL YERN FOR THAT LOVERLY THICK APPLE PIE AND A COFFEE DOWN AT HILLARYS BOAT HARBOUR !!! ONE DAY MAYBE ????
ANYWAY, IF YOU HAVE THE GUTS, THEN GO FOR IT OR YOU WILL REGRET IT..............GUARANTEED.
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.
KEV.W

Louise M

I know its a bit mean but thank god other people are feeling the same as me. Have eventually moved into a rented house, bit of a struggle cos of the dog. Landlords don't want dogs. Complete on friday. Thank god the house is sold. Just as we have completed one hurdle, others loom on the horizon. Was quite overwhelmed and in tears for a while but have now decided to take the 'OH BOLLOCKS to it' attitude and its working. Am just taking one day at a time. We WILL all get through this eventually!! Just have to have car boot sale, ship furniture, move son (not coming) into accomodation, ship dog, book flights, find house to rent in brisbane, buy car, find job............... oh jesus...................
Good luck to everyone.

phoenixinoz

What a brave post to write Kev, especially since you seem genuinly fed up by your experience.

Can I ask Kev, you obviously still read this site even though you never did move here. Do you mind me asking why? Do you think you still might come some day?

Also, it's funny you should mention your teenage daughter not wanting to come to Aus as most parents with older kids have this same trouble. This serves as a good reminder that the younger the kids, the better isn't it..

Did your wife ever regret not emigrating to Aus?

Mrs Jackaroo

Good post Kev. Sorry to hear things didnt work out for you though. Are you looking into migrating in the future? The trauma of the entire process(whether you actually make it or not) is unbelievable like you say.

Good luck for the future

Rach xxxx

DunRoaminTheUK

Hi Kev.

I really feel for you. This is pretty much the situation I propose to my alter-ego each and every time it decides to raise it's voice and tell me it's all a really big mistake (STFU doesn't always seem to work....the bustaad!!)

Are you going to have another go at it then?

On the positive side for me, I've just this moment handed in my resignation so still moving ahead with it all (it's kinda like walking a plank at the moment with my ankles firmly tied together)....

phoenixinoz

Your move sounds EXACTLY like ours was. We also left a son behind in UK and had accommodation to find. He only told us two weeks before, so talk about panic:scared:

Then...a week before the move we found out my mum had cancer ......and a few days later, our dog slipped and dislocated her hip

Talk about stress.

With all the worry of it all, I landed in Aus looking like a bog monster. I had a cold sore all across my face and up my nose and my lips were that swollen I looked like I'd been fighting with the cabin crew

Two years down the line, mum had her op and is better, dog recovered and eventually joined us in Aus, and son still in UK happy and settled