russmcp

This is a serious question, so please don't think me a fool, though you may when I ask this question.......

I love OZ, so much so I know I want to live there. I love the country, people, weather etc.......... I know it's right for me.

However I also know that my girlfriend of 10 years is right for me also.....

Here comes the problem, she doesn't love OZ like I love OZ.

She loves visiting the country, yet does not want to live there.

I feel so torn at the mo. It's driving me a wee bit round the bend....

What do I do?

Fancy voting?

coxfamuk

This is an impossible one to vote on. You need to evaluate your relationship and where you see yourselves ending up. Do you want children together, do you want to get married etc, do want the same things out of life, etc. Once you find the answers to these questions, then you can decide what to do.

Good luck with it all.

Sarah

Grayling

Russ

I am a fair bit older than you and have been married for 33 years (together 35).

You may not like my advice but it would be to stick with your partner.

Where you live is an irrelevance compared to a good relationship with your partner.

Beaches and sunshine will quickly wear off....a good relationship will last.

best wishes

G

DollyDaydream

Ask The Clash.....

D D

russmcp

Thanks Dolly

Cheers Grayling.

DianneH68

I have a similar problem with my boyfriend. I would really like to give it a go, but he has never been to Aus and has no real interest in it.
So I have managed to persuade him to come travelling with me there for a few months.
I'm hoping that, during that time, either he'll decide he loves it so much he'll want to stay, or I'll decide a few months travel is enough and I'll happily return to the UK.
Could this be a possibility for you ie, save up and spend a few months travelling there together?
Or have you both already spent time there and have made your respective decisions based on your experiences?

russmcp

Been there and done it, spent 4 months in Oz together in 2003, then returned for a month in March. She had a great time and loves it, but I think its too far from family friends. I think thats the crux of it all.

DianneH68

oh that's a really tough one then.
If you did decide to go, what kind of visa would you qualify for?
I'm just thinking that, if you could get PR, then you'd only need to live there two years to get citizenship, so maybe you could try persuading your girlfriend to give it a go for two years?
If she thought it was just a short-term adventure, maybe she'd be more keen?
Also suggest that you wouldn't sell your house (assuming you have one!) and would just rent it out.
She may find these kind of things comforting as it doesn't seem so permanent.

Good luck with it all - I expect to be going through the same thing when we return from our travels

DollyDaydream

I think Grayling got it in one sentence. "Beaches and sunshine will quickly wear off....a good relationship will last".

I guess you can keep trying to persuade her to go, but if it's really not what she wants but then relocates because it's what you want, she'll end up resenting and regretting. You never know, she may come round to the idea and you'll have the life that you both want. Don't give up just yet.

D D

floss

Dolly, I hear you - but then again I have to ask - how many of us compromise the way we would choose to live because of, for example, our partners job or their professional aspirations.... somehow that is okay (until you get to my age and decide to spit the dummy) but to compromise for other reasons is harder to understand.....

I think it is so hard to advise because there are so many factors - your age, your family involvements, your past - where you have lived and your experiences of living in new surrounds.... I agree - the view is worth nothing if you've no-one to share it with... but then again, you only live once....

So, no help from me then - just lots of wishes for good luck - and try to remember, it's the little things that make us happy and a smile a day makes it a good one!

ladylisa

saw your dilema and had to respond. Have you even applied for a Visa? If not then it seems you are driving yourself mad about something that may not even happen.

moneypenny20

Just thinking the same. Do you know if you can even get a visa? You might be driving yourself mad for no reason. OTOH if you did get the visa and persuaded her to go with you, if she feels she will miss her family, nothing on earth will change that. It is generally the one thing that brings people back and it is almost always the woman that feels it the most.

Can't help with the poll. Only you can work this one out. Sorry.

russmcp

Yep visa no problem at all with the careers we have and experience I have in a past life. Im 35, other half is 30, so age still on our side.

I have (and I think this is the way forward) is trying to persuade her into us applying for the VISA. I'm even happy to pay for a migration expert to do the dog work, so we can TRY and carry on with out lives as normal. I've asked her to go for the VISA, then when we get it go for a validation trip. The reason why I am holding off appying at the mo is because I think if I give it time and keep on asking her to give it a go then she may well go for it. I have mentioned this PR, staying 2 years for our citizenship then coming back. I'm trying to sell it to her as a future investment. She just isn't buying it at the mo. BUT it is a future investment. We have 5 years to get our arses to OZ after a validation trip, then stick it for 2 years. 2 years will fly by. I don't think i'm asking the earth (only half of it).



Thanks for your words of advice so far, I do appreciate it.

aussie73

Theres not much sunshine and its too cold to go to the beach in most of OZ this time of year.

russmcp

There's also not much sunshine and its too cold to go to the beach in all of the UK MOST of the year!