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ping pong pomes that cant settle!

ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Old Jan 1st 2011, 8:02 pm
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Default ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Its not an untypical scenario....we have moved to Aus and back to the UK....we are just abouts to go back to AUS! However, i dont really want to go but my partner does. One child wants to go the other doesnt!.....i cant think that anything will change when i go back, about the homesickness! Would anyone like to share their experiences?!
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Old Jan 1st 2011, 9:20 pm
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by loubie
Its not an untypical scenario....we have moved to Aus and back to the UK....we are just abouts to go back to AUS! However, i dont really want to go but my partner does. One child wants to go the other doesnt!.....i cant think that anything will change when i go back, about the homesickness! Would anyone like to share their experiences?!

The homesickness will never properly go away if that's how you felt last time around living here, how long were you here in Australia?

Some people come here and immediately fit in and LOVE it, others struggle and somehow come to terms with homesickness over the years.........you only have to read this forum, it is a very PERSONAL thing......

I don't envy you one bit because whether you go or stay you are going to have one unhappy parent and one unhappy child......good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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Old Jan 1st 2011, 9:25 pm
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by Beedubya
Some people come here and immediately fit in and LOVE it, others struggle and somehow come to terms with homesickness over the years.........you only have to read this forum, it is a very PERSONAL thing......
Interesting one that. If you had been around when I first started posting, you would have been privvy to my rants about everything that was wrong with Australia and everything I hated about the place... and looking back I can't even remember what the problem was !?
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Old Jan 1st 2011, 11:10 pm
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus
Interesting one that. If you had been around when I first started posting, you would have been privvy to my rants about everything that was wrong with Australia and everything I hated about the place... and looking back I can't even remember what the problem was !?
I have heard you say that before, how long did it take you to give up the "fight?" and are you fully accepting now and know this is the place you want to spend the rest of your life?
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Old Jan 1st 2011, 11:30 pm
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by Beedubya
I have heard you say that before, how long did it take you to give up the "fight?" and are you fully accepting now and know this is the place you want to spend the rest of your life?
Probably 24months or more. The biggest difference happened when I simply stopped posting on here. !!

Coming on BE and arguing constantly with those who loved the place, the Godzoners, as they were then called, just made me worse. It took almost twelve months away from BE, which coincided with me coming to terms with Australia and myself, before I really started to feel settled.

Spending the rest of my life here is another matter. Rest of my working life, probably, but I still think I might return 'home' eventually. If I actually do or not, remains to be seen.
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Old Jan 2nd 2011, 12:22 am
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus
Probably 24months or more. The biggest difference happened when I simply stopped posting on here. !!

Coming on BE and arguing constantly with those who loved the place, the Godzoners, as they were then called, just made me worse. It took almost twelve months away from BE, which coincided with me coming to terms with Australia and myself, before I really started to feel settled.

Spending the rest of my life here is another matter. Rest of my working life, probably, but I still think I might return 'home' eventually. If I actually do or not, remains to be seen.
Very good post.

I remember feeling angry at feeling the need to justify why I am happy here and reading some of the patronising posts that people who claim to love where they live must be wearing rose tints or in denial, would annoy me greatly.

There is even a recent post on here on another thread sayind that they cannot believe anyone would love it here and if they did, their lives must have been shit in the UK - how seriously patronising and assuming!

So now I dont particularly care if others love it here, and I dont care if they hate it and if they want to assume we are in denial purely for being happy - then thats up to them.

I cannot imagine living anywhere else - it is home to us, we (husband and myself) are both happy here and the day we become unhappy then it is down to us and noone else to do something about it. Just like its down to those that hate it and are unhappy, to do something with their own life.

And coming to that realisation was not only good for us, but it is liberating also.
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Old Jan 2nd 2011, 1:12 am
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by loubie
Its not an untypical scenario....we have moved to Aus and back to the UK....we are just abouts to go back to AUS! However, i dont really want to go but my partner does. One child wants to go the other doesnt!.....i cant think that anything will change when i go back, about the homesickness! Would anyone like to share their experiences?!
My situation is a lot different from most although i do know there are some in similar boats as mine
I am still sick for my family and friends and its not been the move i thought it would be (lots more issues arising than we ever thought would!!)
But i call Australia my home now even after 4 months because if i keep referring to the UK as my home i will never settle.
Who knows what the future holds for anyone, unless you have a crystal ball.....
whatever you decide it will need work and positivity to get through sending you lots of positive vibes for 2011
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Old Jan 2nd 2011, 2:47 am
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Our situation is perhaps a little different, as we didn't ever leave Australia because of homesickness of because of hating the place. It was more that the UK was the right place for us to be at the time. Similarly, we've not come back to Aus because we hate the UK. It's just that now, here is the right place to be.

Having said that, I think it's been a little easier to make the move this time. The first couple of months were very rough (worse than the first time around, I think!). But having been here nearly 10 months now, it feels much more settled this time around. I think we're both much more accepting of Australia. We don't compare here and there any more. Australia does feel more familiar this time (we've moved back to more or less where we lived previously).

The UK hadn't changed in the two and a half years that we lived in Aus. And Australia hadn't changed in the two and a half years we lived in the UK. The only thing different this time is our attitude to it all, I think. Previously we've always moved thinking we'll try it and see. This time it's more of a forever move. And, I think, because of that Australia really does feel like home.

Good luck with it. But maybe try and speak with your partner, if you really don't want to make the move.
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Old Jan 2nd 2011, 5:10 am
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Sounds like you are prepared to make yourself the sacrificial lamb in your family, bending to the will of another. If you really dont want to go then seek marriage counselling and try and sort it all out. Otherwise I guess you just have to knuckle down and get on with it. You may lose "yourself" and need to go back for sanity hits like some of us do (every year at least and sometimes twice a year for me but at least I can have some happy time in my life where I am where I belong) - just be sure he knows it is his responsibility to earn enough to support you in that. I think you can become desensitized to the "homesickness" after a while but whether that means you absolutely love it here is quite another matter.
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Old Jan 2nd 2011, 8:26 am
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus
Interesting one that. If you had been around when I first started posting, you would have been privvy to my rants about everything that was wrong with Australia and everything I hated about the place... and looking back I can't even remember what the problem was !?
It was Different

That is actually something we have in common.
I now try not to remember what I used to complain about, it's embarrassing
 
Old Jan 2nd 2011, 8:34 am
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by ABCDiamond
It was Different

That is actually something we have in common.
I now try not to remember what I used to complain about, it's embarrassing
I can remember complaining bitterly that the plug sockets were too small and blaiming the entire country as result.





* I still think they are but its not a life changing event now.
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Old Jan 2nd 2011, 10:05 am
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus
I can remember complaining bitterly that the plug sockets were too small and blaiming the entire country as result.





* I still think they are but its not a life changing event now.
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Old Jan 2nd 2011, 10:57 am
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus
I can remember complaining bitterly that the plug sockets were too small and blaiming the entire country as result.





* I still think they are but its not a life changing event now.
One of my favourite complaints was that plugs didn't have fuses, and they had electric sockets in the Bathrooms, and other similar major life changing problems..
 
Old Jan 2nd 2011, 3:38 pm
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

I think missing your own family in the UK is a small sacrifice compared to the lifestyle that you know is waiting for your children and husband when you move back .
As the previous poster has suggested , frequent visits back , paid for by your hard working partner will ease the agony of missing your family - i'm sure they'd visit you too .

As a gemini you'll always be in two minds about the best place to be but bear in mind Perth would be a lovely place to get married .
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Old Jan 2nd 2011, 9:05 pm
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Default Re: ping pong pomes that cant settle!

Originally Posted by Davesax
I think missing your own family in the UK is a small sacrifice compared to the lifestyle that you know is waiting for your children and husband when you move back .
As the previous poster has suggested , frequent visits back , paid for by your hard working partner will ease the agony of missing your family - i'm sure they'd visit you too .

As a gemini you'll always be in two minds about the best place to be but bear in mind Perth would be a lovely place to get married .
But one child doesn't want to go, so you will have one unhappy child as well as the OP. That's not fair either.

And you are assuming that the OP's "homesickness" is caused by just missing her family, in my personal experience "homesickness" has many levels and not easily understood by migrants who don't have those same feelings. It's not something you can just shrug off and forget about, though like Quoll says you do become desensitized after a while.

BTW I am a Gemini too and I know where the best place for me is.
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