meechalle

Hi, been reading this forum for a while and have been struggling with the decision to go back to the UK. I really want to go back but then people keep butting in and telling me I’m mad to go back to rainy old London when I live in ‘paradise’ I was born and raised in Australia but left for the UK when I was 20. I couldn’t wait to get there. After spending 3 years in the UK (I have a British passport) I thought my ‘stint’ was up and that it was time to return home a big reason for this being my Mum really struggled with me over there as she didn’t think I’d like it as much as I did.
As soon as I booked the flight I regretted it and cried the entire flight. It was lovely to see my parents again but other than this there was nothing that excited me or made me feel at home. If anything I have felt more distanced from my friends and enjoying the ‘aussie way of life’ I feel so isolated in Australia. Everyone keeps saying give it time but I am sick of being upset everyday and the more I keep trying to enjoy it the more I end up resenting living in aus, I just don’t see the point when I know I can go back. How much time am I meant to give it? I am getting depressed staying and am lacking in enthusiasm to do things here just for the sake of it.

My parents cannot understand why I want to back especially my Mum who moved here in her teens for a better life and keeps telling me I will get nowhere and make nothing of myself if I return to England and that I will never own a house or car and be stuck working terrible jobs for the rest of my life which is very hard to constantly hear. My Dad is an avid sun lover and also thinks I am mad. I think when they came over 40 or so years ago these things might have been true but I think these days Australia isn’t the paradise it’s made out to be. Yes the wages may be slightly higher but compared to the cost of living it all roughly works out the same. I find it more expensive to live here than to live in London especially rent! And I was only on hospitality wages in London, And even if you can save up from your supposedly higher wage to travel the fares are much higher to get anywhere.

I do not want to sound spoilt or ungrateful I know Australia is a beautiful place but my heart is just not in it. I enjoy the beach but for a holiday 2 weeks at a time After that it gets dull(for me At least), I have had 3 winters in England so am not fazed by the bad weather I love having the 4 distinct seasons, gigs every night, the beautiful countryside, the people, the humour, the pub culture just the culture in general, cheap travel to Europe, wrapping up warm, the accents :P I could go on and on. I even miss the bad things about London like the tube, the dirtiness and the hustle and bustle I find it exciting. I find Sydney bland and lacking compared to living in London. Living in London there would be little things everyday that would make me smile or just a really good feeling of ‘Yeh i live here ’ I never have had that here once.

I really apologise for the novel but it’d be nice to get some insight. I don’t like talking with my friends or family about it anymore as they feel by me wanting to go back and finding it hard to enjoy it here it is a personal rejection of them. Sorry if this is also very disjointed and doesn’t make sense I realised I could write a bloody novel on this but have tried to shorten it.
After typing this I have become clear that I am going back but I’d still love everyone’s insights..

Note-In no way am I saying I dislike Australia but being in my early 20’s the I find the relaxed pace of life slow and boring. Maybe when I am older it will suit me more but I’m not ready to settle down at the moment..

NickyC

What's stopping you - other than other people's opinions?

iamthecreaturefromuranus

Go for it then. Personally, I bloody hate London, but I'm at a different stage in life than you. If you want to go, just go.

Amazulu

Do what you want to do - why would someone else's opinion make a difference?

I left South Africa in 1993 to go travelling for a few years - and have not lived there since.

Bermudashorts

I don't understand what the question is? You have passport and want to go to live in UK and feel unhappy in Australia, I don't see your dilemma.

meechalle

Cheers! You are both right! I am going to go for it I just keep getting tied down in other peoples opinions and negativeness and keep thinking am I missing something. Realised the post may look a bit stupid as the obvious answer is just so clear after writing it and re reading. Can't wait to be back in London!

meechalle

@Bermudashorts-no after reading my post again I think I have lost sight of the question too and let myself get tied down in all the stress and pressure of family etc and made these last 4 months a lot more stressful than what they should have been.. Bugger it looking into heading back late May early June and if people can't support it that's there problem and not mine I feel as if a weight has been lifted of my shoulders now off for a beer

quoll

Go for it! I have one son who went for a gap year .... 10 years ago and has only returned for a couple of holidays and to clear out all his stuff. I think he feels very much as you do.

He now has an English wife, a house in outer London, a nice new car, holidays all over the world and a good career so of course it can be done!

I just cannot fathom parents who want to tie their kids down to the place of "their" dreams and ignore the fact that their dream may well be their kid's nightmare. Good luck!!!

Dreamy

Don't apologise for writing your post. Sometimes just being able to write out what you're thinking helps you crystallize your thoughts.

Don't let other people, no matter how well meaning, dictate your life to you.
It's a decision that only you can decide on (certainly before you start the whole family of your own thing.. then I suppose you need to take other people's views into account )

Good luck with whatever you decide - you're not going to ruin your life which ever way you jump.

Probably.

chris955

Go for it, we are back in the UK after 11 years back in Brisbane and we arent regretting it for one second. I love both countries but England offers me so much more, you sound the same.

Zambia

No stay .....sorry someone had to at least say it.

OP its often been said if you put a frog in boiling water it will hop out however if you boil the water around it from cold it will not realise.

If the water is getting hot ...jump out.

Pollyana

Have a browse through the Moving Back to the UK forum too - lots of posters in there either just back from Aus, or thinking about it plus a lot of useful links.

DC10

Hey meechalle

What a great post. It really strikes a chord. Maybe the onset of winter here has something to do with it.

I'm a bit like you in that I thought life would be 'better' (whatever that means) here and that London was never quite 'home' (whatever that means). I am different in that my parents still live there. So do the vast majority of my really good friends.

It can be easy to get sucked into the 'Daily Mail' view of the UK, and to an extent it is accurate - the 'average' standard of living over there is probably worse, and declining. There are more people and therefore more problems/issues/sensations for papers to report. The weather is generally poor.

But if you are lucky enough to have some or all of financial security, a good job and a good circle of friends, then the UK is probably preferable. I will descend further towards snobbery and say that if you are intelligent and really value things like culture, history, good food & drink, travel and witty banter then it can be difficult to find fulfillment here in Aus, especially outside Sydney and Melbourne. The Aussies and Kiwis I met in London who were there long term were all in that category. The "tradie" types didn't tend to stay longer than a couple of years.

I have decided that there is an important caveat, however. I think some ping-pongers need to remember the saying (something like) "I kept travelling until I realised that I had to take myself with me". I have yet to decide the extent to which this applies to me.

I have wound back my intended stay here from "a few years" to "a couple of years" to "one year is the bare minimum for credibility". That would be Feb 2013, and the ticket's already booked I find having a flight booked is a big help mentally.

Good luck with your plans

Beoz

I got through 2 paragraghs and went for the reply button. As a ping ponger myself do what you want to do, have a backbone, and enjoy life. Sorry but it's kinder to be cruel.

ozzieeagle

I'd say my 2nd oldest Daughter Nyz is in a similar situation to you. Although Melbourne is probably the best place you can be in Aus if your a London lover. Luckily she can "Just get by" here in Melbourne after London. She found she can earn more and have far better career prospects here in her home town, after 5 years of giving it her best in London.

Inner Sydney probably also qualifies as a replacement for London.... note I mean the inner parts of Melbourne and Sydney only.


So my message to you is possibly try Sydney or Melbourne if you feel you would like to give it a go..... or have them in mind if you find the job market too tough in London.

BTW I actually do understand you and feel empathy... maybe your parents didn't come from London in the first place ?


Read your post more deeply and this hit home.... your right on this point... I've not had this in Melbourne either. I definitely did use to feel this in London on occassion.

If the following is on your mind a lot... I'd say go back straight away and dont worry about anyone else.

Living in London there would be little things everyday that would make me smile or just a really good feeling of ‘Yeh i live here ’ I never have had that here once.

That one actually got me thinking as well !