dave99

Hiya
I have been a bit of a ping pommer and need some help. I just lived a year in Melbourne and hated it, absolutely hated the city lifestyle. Now I have just flown back to the UK, which I thought would be my final move...but... as I have started looking for work and catching up with family I have started to think about going back to Perth.

I have become increasingly frustrated with silly english rules, although I love hearing english accents and feel like I fit in more here I look around and see..

1. low wages when theres big demands for qualifications
2. bad weather, but this goes without saying and isnt a big deal
3. silly rules and laws, as if common sense no longer has any place in england
4. companies that dont look after employees but instead treat them like disposable slaves. This is perhaps the biggest factor. I think of how well I was valued and looked after in Perth, I think of all the people I worked with who became friends.
5. I guess when I walk around the UK I think the Perth quality of life just seems better, theres more opportunity's.

I am struggling. Its a big desicon which I have to make quickly. Right now I could tell people I left melb and visited family then came back to Perth but if I took a job for 6 months it would be a different situation and tricky to explain.

So help out a ping pommer, what should I do, will I ever be able to feel settled

verystormy

I would research the opportunities for your work (carefully) and base any decision on that. There are some occupations in big demand. But there are others that are seriously struggling in Perth. The economy is starting to have some serious stutters.

As for silly rules. Oz has it's fair share as I am finding out. I am looking for work and the amount of red tape is appalling. For example. Want to work in a bar? Need a ticket. Want to work as a laborer? Need a range of tickets. Want to even make a coffee in a cafe? Need a ticket. The list goes on.

Lots of other things. Want to sit at one of the big screens and watch the ashes when on while enjoying a cold beer? Nope illegal.

Soozi

I'm not sure I have any sensible advice but, as a ping pommer myself, I do understand how you feel. My husband is a Kiwi and we have spent the last thirty-odd years ping-ponging between the UK, NZ and Australia. I think it's easier to feel settled if you have a partner and children, but you sound as if you are single. Which makes it both easier and harder, I suppose.

I don't know what your visa situation is, but I have noticed that employers here in Oz don't seem too phased by people moving around, and no-one has ever asked me why there are several big gaps in my cv. So if you have time I would give the UK six months or so and see how you feel. If you do come back to Australia and are asked to explain your long trip, I think most people here would be quite satisfied if you said it was for personal or family reasons.

And in answer to your question, will I ever feel settled, I'm afraid my answer is a (probably unhelpful) yes and no. I have spent the last thirty years feeling a bit of both, often at the same time. The truth is even those people who have lived in the same place their whole lives sometimes feel disconnected with their surroundings - I guess it's just part of being human.

I don't know whether that helped, but I sincerely wish you all the best.

Soozi

Why????????

Buzzy--Bee

Dave, when you were in Perth you didn't like it, you didn't like Melbourne and now you're unhappy back in the UK.

I'm not convinced that Geography is the reason for your unsettledness.

BB

Amazulu

Perth is a great place and for me offers a better quality of life compared to the UK, but as for opportunities its going through a bit of a downturn at the moment and the opportunities that you seek may not be available

It's not going to always be this way but right now you might struggle. I personally wouldn't be moving here at the moment

Good luck

quoll

As BuzzyBee said, I'm not sure that geography is the cause of your angst! You disliked Perth enough to leave it - twice!

I think you may have a dose of curse of the expat here - one always tends to compare the bad of the now with the good of the then (it's those jolly rose tints!). Have you chosen somewhere new in UK? I'd be opting for that first - IIRC you went back to old stamping grounds the last time. Try somewhere new and vibrant (have you tried London?)

Given that Perth is beginning to struggle and London is beginning to soar I'd say that UK might be your better option in the short term. As for companies treating employees badly - sounds like you've struck some bum companies! Most of my acquaintance are very appreciative of the support they get from their employers and none have reported the bullying that I discovered latterly was becoming quite endemic in the Aussie workplace (in Canberra especially but from reports from friends also spreading wider!)

Maybe some counselling might help you get a handle on what you want out of life and stop seeking Utopia.

Dorothy

Bermudashorts

I think you are just looking for problems and tings to pick over. Silly rules, low wages and companies that don't look after people? You are going to find examples of this any country in the world. How about accepting that every country like every person will have some flaws or things that are not to your personal taste.

In all seriousness though, I wonder if you have depression or something similar. You seem aggrieved wherever you are and you have to start to think about the common denominator.

Pollyana

Cos Australia has a lot of spoilsport rules connected to the combination of alcohol and sport.

carolinephillips

Why Perth? You have left it twice. Try Sydney- though it is a big city it is very different to Melbourne!

spouse of scouse

What a bugger of a situation to be in

I agree with others who suggested that you give it more time in the UK. Easy enough to make up a convincing story for a protracted absence if you decide to move back to Oz.

As I'm sure you already know, no one on here can help you with this decision. Really - no one. You might get a range of opinions regarding which place is 'better' to live, but other people's opinions won't do you blind bit of good.

I've been a Perthie all my life and while it's great that you had such a supportive company - have you asked yourself 'what next' if you come back and your new employer isn't that great? If work is difficult to find? If the friends you made have moved on?

To me Dave, it's all about personal resilience - the ability to make the most and the best of what you have, while keeping on working towards better times. If you have that, you'll be fine pretty much anywhere. If you don't, then you'll struggle pretty much anywhere.

Only you can decide what it is you want from life and what, if anything, is holding you back from achieving that life. I agree with a previous poster who suggested a bit of counselling (a proper psychologist/counsellor, not one who got their 'qualification' from a Weeties packet!). I suggest that because I don't think you know yourself very well - you don't know what makes 'you' tick. For me, everything starts with that.

Best of luck and remember - we don't have to have everything we want, or think we want, to be happy. You've already won life's lottery - you're alive and healthy! While you're searching for whatever it is you're looking for, don't get so caught up in the search that you forget how to live and enjoy each day.

Merseygirl

Soozi

Sorry, I don't want to hijack Dave's post, but I don't understand. I have enjoyed a beer while watching sport at both the stadium and the pub. What rules are you referring to?

Dorothy

Perhaps you have in Queensland. Things may be different in WA.