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The phone call we all dread

The phone call we all dread

Old Mar 7th 2012, 1:25 am
  #61  
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Default Re: The phone call we all dread

Originally Posted by Cookster View Post
Dad passed away 3 days after we returned to Australia. My daughter and I spent a week by his bedside with him in and out of consciousness, it was horrible to see him like that and it broke my heart to leave, but all said, im glad we went home to see him.
I'm sure your Dad was glad too, Cookster. My condolences to you and your family.
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Old Mar 7th 2012, 1:36 am
  #62  
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Default Re: The phone call we all dread

Originally Posted by Cookster View Post
Dad passed away 3 days after we returned to Australia. My daughter and I spent a week by his bedside with him in and out of consciousness, it was horrible to see him like that and it broke my heart to leave, but all said, im glad we went home to see him.
Sorry to hear of your loss - but glad that you managed to see him to say your farewells.



My Dad has had a long fight with renal cancer. In 2001 he was first diagnosed and had a kidney removed (complete with tennisball sized tumour), I ummed and ahhh'd about going to visit at the time but was assured the outlook was extremely positive and it was a slow non-threatening cancer - he was determined to get well enough to come to our wedding in Brisbane in 2002 - which he did, in fully functional health.

A couple of years later secondary cancers were detected on his lungs - not big enough to be symptomatic and inoperable. Advice was that since his cancer seemed tobe a VERY slow growing one - he should ignore it... (although walking with him up and down mountains some time after that it was clear his fitness had been impacted - whether from decreased lung function or just old age wasnt clear)

Last year he started experiencing significant leg pain and scans showed a large tumour in his femur. After much discussion with doctors, they cut out a 10cm length of bone and replaced it with titanium (he is a cyborg?!) - Again there were no ill-effects, no need for chemo or radiotherapy, the tumour was simply 'lifted out' and chucked away. After a year of physio however, his mobility has not improved as much as expected and seeing him at christmas was quite distressing to see a once keen, fit, self-sufficient man reduced to limited 'flat' walking with a stick and seeing my mother getting frustrated at his inability to physically do what he used to around the house. Last week a set of scans revealed another large tumour, this time in the thigh muscle. He's now starting a lifelong chemo (gentle chemo?) regime [1 tablet a day. 4 weeks on 2 weeks off for the rest of his life].

Its always a bad idea - but reading the studies on the drug he's been put on suggests that life expectency of patients on the drug increases from an average of 22 months without the drug to 26 months with it. Obviously 'averages' can be deceptive, but those numbers are fairly horrific. After a decade of monitoring a really very 'manageable' cancer, I'm a little worried that his disease seems to have stepped up a gear lately and that sonner rather than later I'll forced to make the decision about when to fly back for.

One day that call will come... and theres nothing I can do to stop it.
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Old Mar 7th 2012, 2:29 am
  #63  
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Default Re: The phone call we all dread

One day that call will come... and theres nothing I can do to stop it.

And you will deal with it, and make the right decision for you.
Thoughts are with you
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Old Mar 7th 2012, 4:47 am
  #64  
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Default Re: The phone call we all dread

Originally Posted by Cookster View Post
Dad passed away 3 days after we returned to Australia. My daughter and I spent a week by his bedside with him in and out of consciousness, it was horrible to see him like that and it broke my heart to leave, but all said, im glad we went home to see him.
My sincerest condolences Cookster. Like the other posters have said you got to spend some time with him in the end which I'm sure he appreciated.
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Old Mar 7th 2012, 5:40 am
  #65  
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Default Re: The phone call we all dread

Originally Posted by DadAgain View Post
Sorry to hear of your loss - but glad that you managed to see him to say your farewells.



My Dad has had a long fight with renal cancer. In 2001 he was first diagnosed and had a kidney removed (complete with tennisball sized tumour), I ummed and ahhh'd about going to visit at the time but was assured the outlook was extremely positive and it was a slow non-threatening cancer - he was determined to get well enough to come to our wedding in Brisbane in 2002 - which he did, in fully functional health.

A couple of years later secondary cancers were detected on his lungs - not big enough to be symptomatic and inoperable. Advice was that since his cancer seemed tobe a VERY slow growing one - he should ignore it... (although walking with him up and down mountains some time after that it was clear his fitness had been impacted - whether from decreased lung function or just old age wasnt clear)

Last year he started experiencing significant leg pain and scans showed a large tumour in his femur. After much discussion with doctors, they cut out a 10cm length of bone and replaced it with titanium (he is a cyborg?!) - Again there were no ill-effects, no need for chemo or radiotherapy, the tumour was simply 'lifted out' and chucked away. After a year of physio however, his mobility has not improved as much as expected and seeing him at christmas was quite distressing to see a once keen, fit, self-sufficient man reduced to limited 'flat' walking with a stick and seeing my mother getting frustrated at his inability to physically do what he used to around the house. Last week a set of scans revealed another large tumour, this time in the thigh muscle. He's now starting a lifelong chemo (gentle chemo?) regime [1 tablet a day. 4 weeks on 2 weeks off for the rest of his life].

Its always a bad idea - but reading the studies on the drug he's been put on suggests that life expectency of patients on the drug increases from an average of 22 months without the drug to 26 months with it. Obviously 'averages' can be deceptive, but those numbers are fairly horrific. After a decade of monitoring a really very 'manageable' cancer, I'm a little worried that his disease seems to have stepped up a gear lately and that sonner rather than later I'll forced to make the decision about when to fly back for.

One day that call will come... and theres nothing I can do to stop it.
My thoughts are with you, i cannot comment, words, well are useless from a stranger...A powerfull post,what makes a forum like this have substance.....May you, well, you are wealthy in memory's....
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Old Mar 7th 2012, 8:11 am
  #66  
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Default Re: The phone call we all dread

My sympathies to you and your family Cookster. This must be a really hard time for you!
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