Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Feb 16th 2005, 12:44 am
#1
(It's not my real name)
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Ilukapool. WA
Posts: 12,467
Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
August 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Perth!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding.....
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding.....
Feb 16th 2005, 12:49 am
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Near Duloc
Posts: 4,638
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Nice one Renth 
Feb 16th 2005, 12:52 am
#3
Absinthe Minded
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: At the football
Posts: 668
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Originally Posted by renth
August 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Perth!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding.....
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding.....
Feb 16th 2005, 1:01 am
#4
Moved out bush!
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Chittering WA
Posts: 1,093
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Hi there
just a quick question....
Is this real? I live round the corner and can't really figure out why within 2km the weather should be so different!
Have you had a conservatory installed over your house, did you insulate with heat retaining "even in the summer" insulation, do you have a jumbo sized magnifying glass suspended over the roof?
Or do you suffer incredibably with the heat? Of which if you do why did you ever consider OZ? Plus hate to tell you summer this year has been very mild. So hate to think what catalogue of disasters you will have next year.
A most confused Jenny living inn Padbury?
just a quick question....
Is this real? I live round the corner and can't really figure out why within 2km the weather should be so different!
Have you had a conservatory installed over your house, did you insulate with heat retaining "even in the summer" insulation, do you have a jumbo sized magnifying glass suspended over the roof?
Or do you suffer incredibably with the heat? Of which if you do why did you ever consider OZ? Plus hate to tell you summer this year has been very mild. So hate to think what catalogue of disasters you will have next year.
A most confused Jenny living inn Padbury?
Feb 16th 2005, 1:01 am
#5
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Melbourne since 2003
Posts: 1,014
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
That's really terrible about your cat, I am sorry 
This is why we live in Melbourne
This is why we live in Melbourne
Feb 16th 2005, 1:41 am
#6
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Sydney beachside
Posts: 3,505
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Originally Posted by jensteve
Hi there
just a quick question....
Is this real? I live round the corner and can't really figure out why within 2km the weather should be so different!
Have you had a conservatory installed over your house, did you insulate with heat retaining "even in the summer" insulation, do you have a jumbo sized magnifying glass suspended over the roof?
Or do you suffer incredibably with the heat? Of which if you do why did you ever consider OZ? Plus hate to tell you summer this year has been very mild. So hate to think what catalogue of disasters you will have next year.
A most confused Jenny living inn Padbury?
just a quick question....
Is this real? I live round the corner and can't really figure out why within 2km the weather should be so different!
Have you had a conservatory installed over your house, did you insulate with heat retaining "even in the summer" insulation, do you have a jumbo sized magnifying glass suspended over the roof?
Or do you suffer incredibably with the heat? Of which if you do why did you ever consider OZ? Plus hate to tell you summer this year has been very mild. So hate to think what catalogue of disasters you will have next year.
A most confused Jenny living inn Padbury?
Feb 16th 2005, 1:44 am
#7
Moved out bush!
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Chittering WA
Posts: 1,093
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Originally Posted by nickyc
Jenny
Feb 16th 2005, 1:46 am
#8
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 512
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Originally Posted by renth
August 31st: Just got transferred with work into our new home in Perth!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding.....
September 13th: Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
September 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.
October 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th: I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
October 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
October 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
November 4th: It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.
November 8th: If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
November 9th: Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
November 10th: The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.
November 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
December 1st: WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are f**king kidding.....
& your car must stink in that heat. It sounds really really hot over there. I've had the airco on less than 5 times this year so far - but I've heard that Feb. can be really sticky.Good luck!
Feb 16th 2005, 1:46 am
#9
Living in Perthection
Joined: Mar 2003
Location: Wickedy WA WA...
Posts: 1,868
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Its a Joke that did the rounds on email a couple of weeks ago....
And I dont think it was originally supposed to be about Perth as you definitely dont get Warm balmy evenings in August and its never got to 35C in September (the average is about 20C.)
And I dont think it was originally supposed to be about Perth as you definitely dont get Warm balmy evenings in August and its never got to 35C in September (the average is about 20C.)
Feb 16th 2005, 1:52 am
#10
(It's not my real name)
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Ilukapool. WA
Posts: 12,467
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Damn,
I'm usually the one berating people for asking the same questions again and again and I'm here recycling an old joke.
Can't believe some of you thought it was for real
I'm usually the one berating people for asking the same questions again and again and I'm here recycling an old joke.
Can't believe some of you thought it was for real
Feb 16th 2005, 1:56 am
#11
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 512
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
I thought the description of the dead cat was really convincing & Perth looks like a hot kind of place. Call me gullible
Feb 16th 2005, 2:07 am
#12
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Melbourne since 2003
Posts: 1,014
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
oops
Feb 16th 2005, 2:17 am
#13
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,233
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
what kind of a sick demented idiot would post this joke?
Feb 16th 2005, 2:22 am
#14
Moved out bush!
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Chittering WA
Posts: 1,093
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Originally Posted by JulesandChris
what kind of a sick demented idiot would post this joke?
Only guessing jenny
Feb 16th 2005, 2:37 am
#15
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Perth, what kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
Originally Posted by renth
Damn,
I'm usually the one berating people for asking the same questions again and again and I'm here recycling an old joke.
Can't believe some of you thought it was for real
I'm usually the one berating people for asking the same questions again and again and I'm here recycling an old joke.
Can't believe some of you thought it was for real
I thought it was for real and cried!!
Jill